Transcript
Speaker: Don't call me a brighter girl, son Cause I ain't coming back
Speaker: Let me walk my own path And don't worry about me I've got everything I need
Speaker: Climb the mountain to see the sky Across the stars on the other side One of these days I won't be around I'll rip my roots out from the ground With wings up out of the streetways
Speaker: I'll fly towards the sun Until they melt from my back And don't tell me There's nothing left to find There's nothing more than this
Speaker: I'll rip my roots up from this ground With wings of feather stringing waves I'll fly towards the sun
Speaker: My roads are from the ground With wings up in the stream waves But I'll fly towards the sun
Speaker: What's going on, everybody? Welcome to Nonsense School Nonsense. I'm Glick. It's Jeff down there below. The other voice will hear. We got a little Sunday fun day edition going on. We were unable. I was very busy yesterday. We were unable to record yesterday. I was very busy. I had to work. Typically I don't work on Saturdays.
Speaker: And uh, then I had to go to my daughter's 16th birthday party. That was actually a lot of fun. We had, we, we had a blast. She had a bunch of her friends there and she had a ball. I did not get home last night until about 10 o 'clock. I left my house at six 30 yesterday morning and did not get back until about 10 o 'clock last night. Concerning you normally between the two of us were both home around.
Speaker: at five o 'clock. Yeah. So, needless to say, I came home, had, got me a little something to eat and uh right where I'm sitting right now, I I passed out. I was going to have a couple beers and play Xbox and uh fell asleep in the middle of the game loading. So, I woke up at like one o 'clock this morning, crashed out. I woke up, the game was doing whatever the game does.
Speaker: And, uh, I've done that. I've done that. I, uh, when, uh, I first bought the PlayStation three, I had come, I was working third shift at a company and I, I came home and I would, you know how sometimes when you drive, you know, if you drive really tired and you get that, we're like, Oh my gosh, I seriously have to stay away. I've never had it happen on a video game until that day. I literally sat there.
Speaker: driving Gran Turismo and crashing the car like 15 times because you were dozing off. I wanted to beat a level and I was like, no, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, right. I mean, yeah, still press the car just sitting there doing burnouts. Yeah, I've never really been, I've never really fallen asleep when I played games, but
Speaker: Yeah. Last, like I said, last night, I just, it was a long day. And then not to mention the fact that my ex -wife and I wasn't even thinking, she was like, Hey, do you want to take, uh, Austin and Logan was the oldest one and her boyfriend and go get their, her other friend and then run to the store and grab a couple of things. I'm like, yeah, fine. That's cool. I'll go grab it. Not thinking that I was taking three teenagers to the damn grocery store. And then I got stuck on teenager duty at the end of the party where I had to,
Speaker: take one home, go take another one that was spending the night to her house so she could get her clothes. Because why would you bring your stuff with you when you're spending the night with your friends? And then I had to take them back to my ex's house. And I'm like, I have the smallest car out of everybody. I've got four teenagers crammed into my car. I couldn't even turn the radio up loud enough to drown them up because a lot of the radio would go,
Speaker: The louder they would get. The louder they go, yeah. Yeah. It was insane. I was like, ah, man. Never again, you little bastard. Excuse me. But she had a good party. She had a blast. Did you get her a car or no? No, I didn't get her a car. I got her an appointment to get her nose pierced. That'll work. Mike and I were talking about nose piercings the other day. So your daughter wanted the nose piercing really bad?
Speaker: Yeah, she had actually asked me last year and I was like, you know, absolutely not. One, your grades are horrible. Two, you're a brat. I was like, you know, you got to get your grades up and stop being a brat and then we can think about it. You're a brat. No. Hey, look, I'm a firm believer in keeping it real with my kids. I'm not going to. So this year I keep the Santa Claus myth alive.
Speaker: Yeah, well, yeah, I mean that's as long as the you know, the kids still want to believe I mean the older ones don't but the two younger ones so they play along for him or for them for the boys, so But now I told her, you know, you got to get your grades up and stop acting like a brat and you know We'll think about it this year, you know, the shooters coming to an end. They got a couple more weeks left and
Speaker: Uh, she's a freshman and she's absolutely crushed at this year in school. She's still a brat, but she's not as big of a brat. So, um, I was like, so I surprised her with, uh, I went and bought her a couple of studs for her nose, like a little kit that had different studs in it. And, uh, they kind of, we didn't do like a timeframe for presence. Just everybody kind of gave her whatever they got her. Most people gave her money when they got,
Speaker: you know, when they got there and stuff and everybody was in the garage. We were we were doing the she wanted cupcakes and actually blew the candles and everything out. I said, hey, go get in my center console. You got another person out there and she came in and opened it and she was she was super excited. So, um see my wife has her nose pierced and uh the the problem we run into is, you know, the studs, those things disappear
Speaker: Yeah, they're stupid. Well, they're they're 18 gauge. And the higher the number, the smaller the metal. So nose rings generally generally 18 gauge 1816 is pushing it, but mostly 18. And we went looking yesterday for new nose rings for her. And they're not expensive, but it's like looking for it was a
Speaker: not it's an odd thing uh i was discussing with my wife saying in the nose ring kind of going out of style but i guess not if your daughters want one so yeah they're proved me wrong yeah they're definitely not i mean every a lot of
Speaker: It's the it's the it's the tick -tockers and stuff a lot of a lot of them have have but it's just a little On the side of the nose the nostril piercing and she just wants a little stud for it So I was like, that's fine. As long as you don't look like a jackass, you know, don't go get don't go get your septum pierced and
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like a bull ring. I used to do piercings. I used to work in a tattoo piercing shop. That's what I came down here to do originally. And the belly button ring in 2001, 2002, I would literally, by the end of the day, I'd have done 50, 60 in a day. Easy without even trying. You know, in a like six hour day.
Speaker: And I'm literally like people lined up and waiting in line and a tattoo artist that was working. I was like, you hear her tattoo? No, I want my belly button pierced. And I'm like, really? Again? So you know how Summer and Haas were in here. She's in the comments right now. And they were making fun of you for looking like Freddie Mercury and all that stuff. Well, the other day she was at work and I guess she was watching the video or showing the video to one of the guys she works with.
Speaker: and the guys that she works with say that I look like Uncle Cracker. So she just, she just commented on, she just commented just a few minutes ago. I've never seen two artists like Freddie, like Freddie Mercury and Uncle Cracker together at the same time. I don't look like Uncle Cracker, God damn it. My wife said to me,
Speaker: She was looking at pictures of some celebrity. And this said celebrity. It was like an older picture of Brad Pitt in a movie. And he just had the top mustache. And she said, you should shave everything but the mustache. So I was like, A, I'm not a 70s point star.
Speaker: And B, if I do, I will be leaning into the whole. In the first place, you know, that's what she was doing. She was trying to push you into it. So I'll tell you, just, just do it, man. Just do it for, for like one week. Just do it for one week for two shows. Your beard will grow back.
Speaker: I don't know about you, but every once in a while, do you just be like, fuck it and shave the beard? Absolutely not. Really? No, because no, because here's the thing. When I was when I lived down in Charleston, I used to work for Orch and pest control and we couldn't have facial hair there. We could have a mustache, but that was it. So when I left there, I swore that I would never have a job again where I had to shave my face because a.
Speaker: I got a big fat face and the beard hides. I'm the same way. The problem is when I shave, I look like I'm 10 years old. Well, I do look a lot younger too, but I don't care about looking younger. It's just my face is so fat and round and then like I don't have a double chin. I just have like one massive fucking chin.
Speaker: So like every once in a while when I worked at Oregon, I would get a while burp my ass and I would grow a mustache and my my buddy him and his wife commented one time on a picture and said that I look like a young John Candy. Oh, and I was like, I was like, I don't know if I'm supposed to take that John Candy for a big guy. He's a good looking cat and all, but damn, that's just that just made that talk about fat shaming.
Speaker: Right. John Kenny was not a small dude. No. So I was like, God damn it. Plus, my ex -wife hated when I grew a mustache out. So I did it just to annoy the hell out of her because, you know.
Speaker: And it would grow in, I mean, it would grow in. It would make Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. Yeah, it would make them cry because it was so thick and full. John Holmes is going, damn, dude, that's a big book there. Yeah, right. Everybody doesn't know who John Holmes is. Google it. Google it.
Speaker: I love how your references are 70s porn stars that are men and I'm referencing actors is where we that's where we differ because I see somebody with just a mustache. I'm like that was the thing you know like Burt Reynolds and them guys in the 70s it was a mustache and if you had a beard you were considered like a freak. Yeah.
Speaker: And like in the early 60s, any facial hair, you were a beatnik or a hippie. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: And now, you know, there's people showing up and working three piece suits and a full bloom beard. Well, and that's the thing. I mean, now I don't even I don't even trim my beard anymore because I've done it a couple of times and I fucked it up. And then I had to take it down. Then I take it down real short. And I got yelled at my barber yelled at me said, don't fucking touch your beard.
Speaker: He's like, that's what you got me for. I'm like, yes, sir. I'll never touch it again other than the brush it and put the, you know, the oils and stuff and like, and he's like, uh, I'll keep it, I'll keep it cleaned up for you. Don't, don't fuck with it. That's why a lot of times if I, yeah, that's why if I, a lot of times if I go too long in between visits to the barber, I start, I start to look like a homeless man. My beard's all straggly and crazy looking.
Speaker: Yeah, I've never the problem. The thing is, uh, you know, I don't do the oils and all that silly stuff. I just, I'm just too lazy to shave in the first place. So it just got my, my beard just kind of goes everywhere. But, uh, every once in a while, I was just like, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah. I've done it for a while. Every once in a while, I'll just fuck it. I'll take the whole thing off. And my wife will come home and chose, what did you do? What?
Speaker: I'll forget in the two hours that I shaved. She gets home, I forget that I shaved. And she's like, what did you do? And I'm looking around the house going, what did I do? Yeah, exactly. What? What? I didn't do anything today. Yeah. No, I don't think my girlfriend would be too pleased if I shaved my beard.
Speaker: because that's been kind of the, she's ugly as hell. Well, that kind of the thing from the get goes, uh, uh, she likes to glaze my beard if you know what I mean. So natural, natural oils right there, buddy.
Speaker: make it shine real nice and real, make it real full. My mother listens to us religiously. That's okay. Mom, don't Google that. Google it, Mom. Whatever you do, whatever you do, do not Google that and put pictures in your head you cannot unseat. Hey Siri, what is beard glazing?
Speaker: god damn you clique oh that's hilarious no i just i the the whole natural oils sorry the whole you know like then what's that there's a company that sells like beard butter and all this oh there's several companies there's several companies i mean i like um
Speaker: I like badass beard company, but that's a veteran owned all American and it's all organic made. Yeah. Summer got me some, some stuff that I absolutely love. It's just the oils, but it's, it's, it's a Viking company. So they got like
Speaker: or is it? No, it's just just a little drops a couple and I put the oil in my beard. Yeah, I put the oil in my beard almost every day. It just helps keep it keeps it moist, you know, moisturized and and shining. Yeah, I usually put it in every morning. I have a problem with I get dry skin right around the sides of my mouth. Mm hmm. Where my. Yeah, all the more reason to use the
Speaker: I don't put beard butter in my beard very often or the cream and stuff like that just because I mean all that is is is essentially just a styling. Yeah, I was gonna say that's like a loose for your beard. Yeah. And the hardest thing I have is is finding the scent because I have hypersensitive sense of smell.
Speaker: smell everything. I'm like a I'm like a **** bloodhound. So, it's it's ridiculous, dude. It really is. Um so, certain smells, it'll like flare. It gives me headaches. It makes my nose and my eyes burn and water and stuff. Oh, yeah. So, it's hard to find sense that that don't don't aggravate me or or bother me. Um but um
Speaker: Oh, excuse me. And they're like, uh, it's a biking company, but it's this, this sensor, like, uh, almost like baby lotion. They're so soft. So it doesn't overpower everything. Okay. So it's very subtle. Yeah. It's a real, yeah. Real soft smell. Oh my God. They smell so good. Um, those, the them and like I said, the badass beard company have been probably the two best products that I've ever tried, um, that have worked the best and
Speaker: and uh and uh and it doesn't it doesn't uh doesn't flare up my my senses. I don't think Badass Beard Company is listening to me or endorsement Badass Beard Company just we are still looking for sponsors. No, I literally I I uh I'm the same way with clothes and stuff. I don't use it. Um like I think two years ago, my uh mother -in -law gave me
Speaker: the Paco 1 million by Paco van and It looks like a gold bar and I literally just ran out Almost four years ago. She gave it to me, but I literally just ran out like two days ago. So now I have to buy it I don't I mean I only use it when I go out I put on two squirts and call today and
Speaker: And it smells good, it's not overpowering. My brother -in -law, my wife's brother, he's 16. He just discovered the fact that he can use cologne and stuff.
Speaker: I had to have that conversation. Yeah. I had to have that conversation with my oldest daughter. I was like, I understand you want to wear perfume and you want to smell pretty or you want to wear body spray. I was like, but you don't have to take a bath in it. Just one or two sports is just
Speaker: It'll get you through the whole day. You'll be fine. I mean, she'll get up in the mornings and as soon as she opens the bathroom door, man, it's just like. And I'm like, oh my God.
Speaker: What the hell is going on? When you're at the mall and I can smell it from here at the house, that's too much. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, just just calm it down a little bit. It smells good. But when you put too much on, it's overpowering as hell. Yeah. You got to calm down. She's like, well, I only use this. Like, don't you tell me I only use because I know the next words that come out of your mouth are going to be a damn lie. Speaking of that perfume thing.
Speaker: A long time ago, I downloaded the audios for the Bud Light Presents, Real Man of Genius and Real American Heroes thing. And it was an hours long worth because I was going to chop it up and do the TikTok version of those songs and stuff. You know, those are already on TikTok. Are they really? Yeah. Well, no, I know there's, but I want to use certain ones. I want original sound, so to speak.
Speaker: I wanted to use somebody else's sound as an original sound. But you know what I mean? As opposed to, you know, somebody's done the same audio 50 ,000 times. Well, and that's how you fall into the algorithm better and get more views. No, I understand that. I understand that.
Speaker: I bought a set of earbuds for at work so I can actually hear voice messages from a client without the entire room hearing and I was listening to something the client sent to me and then my music app that I was on my phone instantly took off right away and it started playing an hour -long
Speaker: And I was like sitting there like holy crap I totally forgot I had this so I sat in there listening to it and they were talking about their talk they did And today we salute you mister way too much cologne wearer guy And I instantly thought of my brother -in -law I need to send this to my brother -in -law Yeah, just sit there right too Yeah
Speaker: Man, those people that wear too much cologne or body spray. You're a splash. They're a splash. Everywhere a splash. Splash. And that is something else when you got that abuse. Oh, man. I can't do it. I don't even own any cologne, to be honest with you. I don't buy it.
Speaker: There's only one time that I that I really like and they you can only find it online on like eBay or Amazon or whatnot. So I don't you know, I just don't buy it. I haven't worn it in years. But even then I can buy a little like a little tiny bottle and it'll last me forever. Yeah, because I very rarely wear it. My mother -in -law like I it's gotta be four or five years ago. She bought you know,
Speaker: maybe eight inches tall, but it looks like a gold bar. Mm hmm. And you squeak. It's got the in in as part of the gold bar, you push on the thing that sprays up glass and stuff. And like I said, I've had it four or five years and I literally just ran out. But Mike, you know, my brother and all, when he's over here, he's spraying it on. I'm like, dude, chill with that stuff. Yeah. What are you doing, man?
Speaker: the other day he spent the night the kids spent the night uh the past two nights and this this morning he came downstairs and I was like what the **** And my wife's like it's my brother. I'm like good god, dude. How much does that stuff? What is he putting it on for? I said the thing is well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, where the **** are
Speaker: No, he's literally here in the house. And he's just hanging out at the house with half a bottle of formula. He got out of the shower, and he's like, I wanted to smell nice. I said, hey, smelling nice is fine. It's good. It's a good thing that you want to smell nice. Smelling like you work in the perfume factory? Yeah. You just got out of the shower, dude. You're going to smell nice. You just washed your body. Yeah, that's the whole thing. And I was like, my wife yelled at me because I bought the wrong soap.
Speaker: but it was two for one deal. It was five bars of soap and you get another five bars of soap for free. And I was like, that's a deal. So I grabbed two. What I didn't realize is that the second one I grabbed, I still got a two for one, but the second one I grabbed was lavender. Well, my wife doesn't like, she likes the non -sentence soap. And she's like, why did you buy lavender? Well, Daller's lavender.
Speaker: every day. There's a lavender bar soap in the showers everywhere. So when you get a shower at my house, you smell like lavender. Yeah, it's actually not overly powering. It's actually really nice. But I was like, damn, dude, that a little bit was a long way.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean that the like with the soap because I'm a cheap sum bitch. Um, I got tired of buying the ax body wash. You know, that's just seven, $8 for a bottle. So I started buying, uh, Irish spring, just so like, like the bar soap. I get, I get five or six of them for like two bucks and I smelled it. I think it's been a buck 50 for 10 bars of soap. I was like, this is a deal. Yeah. I would have been a smart man, which I am not. I bought 20.
Speaker: Aside from the fact that you had 20 bars of lavender soap and your wife probably would have stabbed you in your sleep. One of them was correct. So I have five that is normal, regular soap. But the problem is the first one that come out of the grocery bags when I got home was the lavender one, which is what my kids opened and started distributing throughout the house.
Speaker: Shit there's still like five bars of regular not Nonsense and soap in the cupboard. It's just not been distributed yet because yeah Get rid of the goddamn lavender soap Well, she was mad for about two seconds. She's like, okay, it's not that bad. Yeah I was like, you're lucky. She was like, what do you mean? I'm lucky. I said well, I was bought two more
Speaker: Yeah, she said she said actually you're lucky Yeah, I mean the price and so it's not like so it's gonna go bad so Yes, I did finish WandaVision and
Speaker: we talked about that the other day that when we talked about Winter Soldier, I hadn't started WandaVision and you were right where it stuff happens and you're like, oh, I get why this happened earlier. It's a real recall thing. Yeah, it was it was good. I mean, it was good. I liked it. I'm not gonna go too much into depth about it but it was good. I liked it and I like the twist and stuff that they added in there and
Speaker: especially how they the they brought her brother back. Yeah, but her brother was the X -Men. Yeah. Oh boy from American Horror Story. Yeah. So, Evan Peters, I think which which I like that I like him better than I like the guy from the MCU. So, but yeah, it was a good show. I mean, I'm glad you got caught up on it. Hell, I don't forgot most of it. Yeah. Well, I literally just finished it yesterday.
Speaker: Well, I got another one you can start watching there about seven seasons into it and it's still on TV as far as I know but there's about seven season on Netflix. I just started watching it.
Speaker: Started watching it when it first came out, but I don't think I made it past the first season actually I know I didn't even make it half way in but it's agents of shield No, they moved it to Disney Plus Plus no, it's on Netflix Well if it's well if it's on Disney Plus and watch on Disney Plus Either way just start watching it. It's pretty cool. I watched it. I watched I think I've seen the first two season Yeah
Speaker: But I actually liked Agent Carter better. I never watched that. I could never get into it. It's a little slow. It's a little slow, yes, but I actually really enjoyed it. But I didn't finish it. I never watched that. Oh, you know what's really good, and I never thought I would actually like it, is the Queen's Gambit.
Speaker: I've heard a lot of people talking about it, but I have no idea what it is. I can't talk about watching any more new shows, because I'm supposed to be watching Yellowstone. I want to see that. I haven't gotten around to it yet. And every time I bring up that I'm watching a new show, Summer's like, you gotta watch Yellowstone. And I'm like, oh my god, I know. I'm sorry. I don't like to start other shows until I've finished one. I still haven't finished Walking Dead.
Speaker: I'm watching like four shows. Yeah, I'm watching like four shows right now. I'm watching agents of shield doing patrol. I just restarted watching Dexter because I've only got like season four or five of Dexter. So I just restarted it. Well, the new season's going to come out. Yeah.
Speaker: So I'm watching that and I might be watching something else and it's like, well, let me finish one of these series. It's just like you've started so many new shows. And I'm like, I know. Even with, like you said, I'm watching The Walking Dead, after you watched so much of it, you're like, okay, I need a break. You need something. Well, that's why I watched so many shows at one time. Yeah. You need something as like a desensitizer.
Speaker: because like uh like they do ice cream in between courses to to cleanse the palate so to speak the hell are you talking about you've never heard of that in really fancy restaurants they'll give you they'll give you like a little bit of sherbert and in between courses but how sherbert how's that gonna cleanse your palate i don't know i'm not a fancy rich guy but it's i've seen
Speaker: you're making it's like um uh it's like a palate cleanser so that you can fully taste the nicks. Yeah, but they're giving you sherbert sherbert 12 course meals. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know man. Sometimes I worry about you more than more than three courses. It's just a true thing. I think I've ever had three courses to be honest with you.
Speaker: Well, I guess, I guess, yeah. Well, down in Charleston every week was restaurant week. So every time he went to a restaurant, it was like restaurant week. So if you buy this meal, you'll get the appetizer and then the, this, and then the dessert. Appetizer main course and dessert. But what I'm talking about is like these, these 12 course meals and stuff. I can't control courses.
Speaker: I don't know. There's one last week and you ate like three pounds of ribs. Now, you're like, I can't eat 12 by 12 course meal. I know, right? No, but I mean, the difference is portion, you know. Well, it's going to be a smaller portion. Crackers, of course, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how it was. Cheese whiz on a cracker. Yeah, that's how it was like for the, the, um,
Speaker: like, quote unquote restaurant week, you know, you get the appetizer, but it would be like, a half of a size of a normal appetizer, right? And then your your main your your aunt, your your main meal, your entree on true was was it was the normal size. And then your dessert was like a dumbbell portion. Yeah. So well, I'm sorry, but
Speaker: the height of restaurants for me, the best restaurant I go to is Olive Garden. I love the Olive Garden. Oh, calm down there, Mr. Fancy Pants. I know, right? I'm not, I'm not a fancy cat. Hey, that restaurant that you was at today or yesterday that you sent me a video, that was, that was pretty fancy. That was a high -end restaurant, buddy. Well, my buddy, actually a friend of ours bought that. It's literally, it's like a, it's like a beach shanty, right?
Speaker: it looked like it looked like the building looked like one of those uh like a cargo trailer you know what i mean like it comes in on the cargo ships yeah that's what it looked like and then they just converted it's made out of like pallets oh really i don't know but it's it's almost like a shanty you know it's but there's there's uh you can't really see it really good in the video because i glaze over it but there's like four restaurants so they all share oh is it really and there's and they all sell the same shit
Speaker: and it's just fish and shrimp and stuff like that but our buddy was like oh you guys are out in Playa Mujeres this week stop by you guys get a free meal I'm like free meal so dumb dumb questions that you're right down there on the water on the coast and everything like that is the seafood at least fresh is it like fresh fish and yeah oh yeah
Speaker: fish. That was the best thing. I'm not a I'm not a big seafood eater. I like certain things. I don't like fish. Um I don't like certain fish and I'll eat lobster. I'll eat lobster like you read about. I love lobster. Yeah. Like I like shark and I like tuna and shrimp and and lobster and crab and stuff like that. I'm not a big tuna guy. Tuna is really good. It was cooked, right? Well, yeah. And and it's and it's hard to get
Speaker: I don't care what it is. I don't really care for any of that other stuff. It's not the taste. It's the consistency. I think it's a little bit of both for me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't like coconut. Coconut is the nastiest thing that you can. Yeah.
Speaker: I don't, I don't like coconut. I don't like pineapple, but, but that was the cool thing about living on the coast because when you would go to a restaurant and get seafood, it was literally caught that day. Well, there's a restaurant here called, uh, Lorenzo super fancy and it's literally a floating restaurant and they have lobster traps right off the side of the building. Yeah.
Speaker: And you're like, I want the lobster. I'm like, all right, now pull it up. You want this one? No. How about this one? Like, yeah. But when I go for lobster, I go on a pirate ship. There's a tour here called Captain Hook. And you actually go out, and it's a show.
Speaker: uh with open bar which which is a pain reason to go but you get the show where it's it's you know a group of pirates it's obviously fake because the boat is actually it looks like a it looks like the Jolly Roger it looks like yeah uh the black pearl you mean it's not real pirates i know all right but you know they're dressed like the pirates caribbean characters you know
Speaker: So wait a minute. But the Pirates are when they're not doing their part in the show, they're also your waiter. Nice. So they'll bring you drinks all night. But then you get when you buy the package, I get it for free because I sell tours. But when you buy the package, you choose if you want surf and turf or just steak or just lobster.
Speaker: And then they have a kids menu, but the nice thing is the kids are free every day of the week. So, and it's two for one for the adults. So I think it's, uh, it's like 89 bucks. So for, you know, if the kids are young enough, you and your girl are, you know, 89 bucks and the kids are free.
Speaker: Yeah, we're doing we're doing something like that. You got, you know, dinner, dinner and a show and entertainment and you know, you they actually sail the boat out through the lagoon and stuff and there's they don't have cannon fire, so to speak, but they take fireworks and they stick in the cannon and it shoots off. Yeah. And, you know, they they joke and fun and by the time the meal comes around, I'm three seats to the wind anyways.
Speaker: I always get my wife and I get surf and turf. Well, my wife doesn't like lobster and I can get steak anytime I want. Yeah. So, what I do, I'm like, look, get the surf and turf. I'll give you my steak and I'll have two lobsters and you can have two steaks. There you go. And so, you know, and they give you that melted butter. Oh, yes.
Speaker: It's it's a it's almost like a buffet. It's like a cafeteria line. So, you get in line and you give them your ticket and your ticket says whether it's surf and turf or just surf or just turf.
Speaker: And then they give you vegetables and baked potatoes sides of your head. And the best part about it is when you want another drink, you don't say, excuse me later. You go, argh. And one of the buyers is like, what do you need? They pop up like a genie. They pop up like a genie and be like, what would you like, sir? I'm always like, just give me another beer, dude.
Speaker: I went, my parents came down once and I took my parents and my parents love it. Cause it's, it's very, it's, it's a goofy show. It's, it's a family friendly show. You know, you don't have to worry about some spring break chicks flashing her boobs, which is disappointing for the dads, but relief for the moms. But, uh, but when my parents came the first time I took them on the pirate ship,
Speaker: One of my buddies down here, he's from Texas, and he's like, I've never been. I said, well, why don't you come along? He gets these Long Island iced teas, and the one thing they don't do on these tours is skim on the alcohol. If you want like a white Russian, you know, normally when I do a white Russian, I do
Speaker: little bit of vodka, little bit of milk, little bit of fluid. You know, they do vodka for three minutes. Then they do a drop of milk and a drop of kalua and you're like, holy shit. Yeah. They don't fuck around. So, my buddy comes with us and he's drinking Long Island I .S. teas that are stronger than, you know, uh, Steve Austin, you know. Yeah. But you know, you
Speaker: You know what? You know why they do that in touristy areas though, don't you? Yeah. You know, the junkie, the junkie you get, the more money you spend every, every bar now, like certain, like in Charleston, when you go downtown, so you go downtown and go drinking and you order a Jack and Coke, just say for instance, and it's strong. I mean, it's, it's good. But then you go like where I lived at, I lived about 15, 20 minutes from, from downtown.
Speaker: You go to a bar there and it was just like a regular, you know, like a regular Jack and Coke. And you get to talking to the drops of Jack. Yeah, you get to talking to the bartenders and stuff at the bars. And they're like, yeah, we make them strong because the drunker they get, the more money they're going to spend, the bigger our chips going to be. It's the same thing as, you know, you go to Hooters and you're there for
Speaker: three minutes and if you're a jackass, you think the waitress there wants to be your girlfriend. Yeah. It's like then your buddy tells you she works for tips. Yeah. She does. I mean, I've actually had those conversations way too many times that I'd like to like to say that I have with with my friends. Yeah, I've got a buddy of mine. Oh, oh, the waitress is Hooters love me. I'm like, yeah, you're rich. Yeah, I got a I got a buddy of mine that treat me.
Speaker: Every time we every time we would go man, man, I'm gonna get I'm gonna leave her my number I'm like, how many guys you think left her left her their number today? Well, I mean she likes me though And I'm like, no she doesn't dummy she likes you because every time you fucking come here You give her a $25 tip after you've had three years. I
Speaker: Yeah. You've had three beers and some wings and you give her a $25 tip, you jackass. And then she goes back and she tells all the other girls. So when they see your goofy ass coming in here, picture on the wall, they know what the fuck you look like. They know you're coming. It's Wednesday. Bob's on his way. Yeah. And then they fight over whose table it is. It's not because they like you at all. They like your green. Mm hmm. Hooters, girls and waitresses. They're not stupid.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I got a friend of mine. She actually, she works in a restaurant. Super nice. She works at Senior Frogs. She takes her wedding ring off before she goes in. Yeah. Yeah. When I used to bounce, we had her. Her husband gave her the idea. He's like, take the wedding ring off. She's like, what? He's like, yeah. You'll make more money. When I used to bounce, one of the bars I bounced at, the bartenders, the females would only serve men.
Speaker: and then the male bartenders would only serve girls. And they would lay, man, they would lay it on. I'm like, y 'all some dirty sons of bitches. They're like, we don't know why you're mad. You get a percentage of our tips. I'm like, hell yeah, good point. Pump up the cleavage. I worked at Daddy Rock and I was part of the animation team, but I was also part of the, what's it called? I did body piercing.
Speaker: up by the bathrooms, which is hilarious because at first, we were like, why don't I get a piercing in a bar? And then 50 drinks later, like, I want a piercing. Yeah, that's not shady at all. Just it was hilarious. But the they had what they called shot girls. And these girls walk around with basically orange juice and three drops of alcohol in it. Yeah, it's like five bucks a shot.
Speaker: and they they shake your head blow a whistle you know they do all these little things to you and they they start out they're like their bottle costs like 30 40 bucks and yes it does have alcohol it's not enough I mean you'd have to drink a bottle and get drunk and a couple of my friends that did that worked as a shock girl they would be like 45 minutes into the night of a six -hour night they're like
Speaker: My bottle's already paid off. Yeah, right. Everything made after 45, 50 bucks or something like that was theirs to keep. Oh yeah. It's funny. Walk around wearing almost next to nothing, you know, a sports bra and bike shorts because they're not allowed to wear just a thong. If they could, I'm sure they would. Oh yeah. Next thing you know, they're like, um,
Speaker: I'm like, we just opened the doors. It's, it's easy to do. I mean, it's funny when you see, when you work there or when you frequent enough and you know, everybody like all the little, little tricks and stuff. Yeah. We, we had a, we had a new bartender one night.
Speaker: one time and I threw him a towel. I said, here stuff this down your pants. You'll think we later. He was like, what? Dude, next day, dudes at Walmart buying tube socks. At Walmart. At 2 o 'clock in the morning, why are you buying tube socks? Don't worry about it.
Speaker: No, that's a little stuff like that. Especially in a touristy area. A touristy area is because that's kind of the whole thing. I have a friend of mine. He goes out every night. He's single and, you know, he always picked up chicks. And he's like, A, I'm only going to live once. B, I'm never going to have to see these chicks again. Exactly. Well,
Speaker: I mean, you gotta but I mean, if you got the money because I mean, you go to these bars and these and these restaurants and stuff and that's their that's their old gold man is to get that money in your wallet. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I know the owner of Coco Bongo and he makes over a million dollars a month. I believe it.
Speaker: I mean, that's that's the same thing at these these jackasses that'll uh go to a strip club every night of the week to see one girl and that's my girlfriend. I love her. She loves me. It's like so lose your job then we'll see what happens. It's like so so did you get your bills paid this month? Nah, I'll I'll I'll just push them off until next paycheck.
Speaker: Where'd all your money go? I'm a girlfriend, man. She needs money for school. Stardust needed books for school, like Stardust, right? Yeah, that's okay. I never got the whole - Stardust needed new toys for her only fans. I never got the whole strip club thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been to a couple, but I've never frequented because - I've never, never been a fan of - Being in a touristy town, being in a touristy town,
Speaker: I could spend the same amount in a strip club that I would in the regular bar, but actually have a 99 % more chance of getting laid in the actual bar than I would in the strip club. I've never been a big fan of strip clubs just for that, just, just for that fact alone. I mean, it costs, it costs an arm and a leg just to get into the place, but then you're going to spend all this money at home.
Speaker: Yeah. And then you're going to spend all this ungodly amount of money for nothing when I could, you know, I can drink it home for free and watch porn. I'll go buy a 12 pack. It costs me seven bucks. They say, you know, you can't love anybody till you love yourself. Well, I've had a crush on me since I'm 13. Hey there little fella. Hey buddy.
Speaker: Yeah, you hear that, mom? Now you know why Jeff was taking five and a half showers. That's why his socks were sticky. Everyone's like, forget my mom. No matter who listens, I refuse to censor.
Speaker: No, I'm not going to censor anything. I refuse to censor myself. Slocker, I'm talking. ABC is a me. I have no plans of ever becoming the president. It's not like somebody's going to go back and go, oh, he used to host a podcast and on episode seven, they talked about why would they go to a strip club when they could buy a 12 pack and jerk off all night.
Speaker: He's an animal. I'm like, you know what, brother? I guarantee you. The thing that cracks me up, I have a couple of friends that say they've never masturbated once in their life. I'm like, you know what? You're a damn liar. You are a fucking liar. I don't, I think my cousin swears up and down. I've never masturbated. Dude. What?
Speaker: Give me a break. Have you looked in the mirror? Of course you have. You ugly motherfucker. Stop your bullshit. Everybody has. That front of your ears in Canada? That's not your joke. That's Rosie Pong. We've all done it.
Speaker: Oh yeah. Some, some could be a professional athlete at it. If it was a sport, if it was a sport, I would be a world champion. I already got them. I would be the top lady. They don't make them platinum, sir. Well, I'll take that one. Especially when you're younger and you're broke. Your mom no longer listens.
Speaker: No, it's good as a nitty -gritty. Mom's like, yeah, I'm done. I'm not listening. I'm going to tell my mom, don't listen to episodes. I'm going to message her and tell her, make sure you listen. No, but I mean, it's a natural thing. The other people that haven't done it aren't old enough to know what the heck it is. That's the nicest way that I can think to put it. Yeah.
Speaker: And anybody that says different is lying. Speaking of lying, do you remember on TikTok, the vegan teacher lady? Oh my God, she's a lunatic.
Speaker: Okay. Well, she got she got banned. She got banned. She got banned and then she came back with another because she's she came back with a band again. But her other channel was something totally different. It wasn't even vegan related. She was going after people for something totally different. I don't know. I can't stand that woman. I try to avoid her at all costs. However, I saw the best video on TikTok today. That's somebody
Speaker: grocery store and he sees said vegan, vegan teacher lady. He was in there. You're the vegan teacher lady and she's a yes. So what about it? He goes, why is there a turkey in your cart? Oh, oh, I've never been so happy in my life because that chick got owned. I don't know what you, what anybody does. But when you start to try to push your views onto me,
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. You know, when you start like making, trying to make people feel bad because, you know, look, first and foremost, you could be a vegan all day long and you can say whatever you want. You're not going to make me feel bad for eating a tasty fucking steak. Yeah. And you know what? And I eat my steaks medium rare, almost rare. I want that bitch running around the plate trying to get away from me when I, when I, when I shake, when I'm eating it.
Speaker: I go into a restaurant and they're like, how would you like your steak cooked? I say, it's very simple. Knock its horns off, wipe its nasty ass, light a match under it for 30 seconds and chunk it down here on the plate. Yeah, right. I want to work for it. Yeah, I want it to move as I cut it. You know, people talk about how, oh, you shouldn't kill deer and rabbit. I'm sorry, but hunting deer and rabbit is how you control the population of said animal because if you don't,
Speaker: growing up in Ohio, you know that during at nighttime, if you're driving down the road, what are you looking out for? I almost, I almost hit two of them last night coming home actually. And when the deer population gets low, the state of Ohio or whatever state you're in, will say, okay, there's no deer hunting this year. Then the next year they're like, we need more deer hunters.
Speaker: Which to my knowledge has never happened in Ohio. I can't vouch for any other state. But if somebody wants to hunt something and kill it, I don't give a damn as long as you're going to eat it. Don't kill it just to say, oh, I killed it. Oh, yeah. That's the difference. I mean, just the guys that go, I want to shoot an elephant. Are you going to eat an elephant? No, I just want to shoot one. Why?
Speaker: Yeah, that's what my girlfriend and my kids don't understand they keep saying they want to get cows and I'm like, I'm gonna eat them No, you're not I'm gonna eat them. Well, we want to get chicken. I eat I'm gonna eat them chickens, too We were at they have a street vendors
Speaker: And this guy had a bunch of baby chickens, the small little chicks. And my wife's like, we should get some. I said, why? So we can eat? She's like, you would eat them? I said, when they get bigger, you will eat them. I have no problem with that. She's like, you would watch them grow. And if they're babies. I said, if they get plump enough, I will cook that some bitch. Yeah. And if they lay eggs, if they're, I'm going to eat them babies.
Speaker: Scramble them up, fry them up, no matter, put them on a damn egg sandwich. The funny thing I saw is my wife is like, I could never eat, you know, a baby pig on my honey. Look at your plate, there's bacon on it. Where do you think that came from? However, on that subject of meat, I read on Google,
Speaker: that they're coming up with like, it's a, I don't want to say synthetic meat, but it's like, they almost clone a burger. Oh yeah. They've been doing that for a while now. Uh, I mean, that's been, that's basically what the, uh, should be on the shelves in like the next year. I mean, it's already out there. I mean, that's like the impossible burger, uh, like Burger King has it. That thing's, it's all vegetable.
Speaker: Um, but, um, then they've got other stuff. Uh, but yeah, I mean, they're, uh, uh, I don't know if he imagined the chemicals and, and whatnot that are going to be in that thing. Give me the risk. Have you seen those cows from, uh, Belgium? No, they look like Ronnie Coleman, Ronnie Coleman. You know who Ronnie Coleman is? I know a fighter. Are you talking about the fighter?
Speaker: No, not the fire of the body of the body of the the body builder. Oh, yeah. I don't remember when we were kids, we'd go, you know, he was big like Arnold. Well, he got shit on us, too. There's these Belgian cows. They these things are built like brick shit houses. They literally look like they've been spending time in the gym. They're just yoked. Just maybe they are. And
Speaker: I don't know what it is. They, they, uh, obviously they give them chemicals. They give them like testosterone or something like that look like, look like they've been known bench presses and stuff. And it's just, I mean, if you're doing that for me, I would think that it would make the meat tough.
Speaker: Well, that's what I thought, but apparently it's like, uh, it's the muscle and stuff like that. So like you get less fat on these cows and stuff. So there's, they're, they're like super lean cows. You know, it's like their body fat index is like two where, but they, these, these things look like they've been on steroids since.
Speaker: that's like look up buff cows or something. I think it's something like that and again and it's like what the **** Again, there's certain things that I don't want on my Google search much much like the whale much like the whale penis a few weeks back. I'm not going to Google buff cows. I want some buff beef. But these cows literally look like they've been like lived on a treadmill their entire
Speaker: They're the exact opposite of veal, basically. Veal is kind of cruel, but it tastes good. Oh, veal's delicious. You know how that may feel, right? Yeah, but I don't care. I don't have feelings towards animals if I'm going to eat them. I don't give a damn. As long as you're not like, you know,
Speaker: as long as they're not like killing them over like a three hour period and and usually when they go to sleep what they do is is they put a baby cow in a cage where it can't move its legs or anything yeah they leave it there for like six months and they feed the shit out of it but they don't let it use any of its muscles and then they
Speaker: I mean, and most time when they, when, you know, when the animals go to the slaughterhouse, they're killed like that. They're killed instantly. So, I don't care. It's all delicious. These cows are the exact opposite of veals. Like, instead of them not using their muscles, they're forced to use their muscles. Yeah. Don't come after me, Peter. I would, I would, yeah, exactly. I would prefer the cow that's wandering around in the field and just pop that sucker.
Speaker: shotgun to the head. Give it to you. I'm already eating. Yeah, right. Game. game over. Got you a case of Dilla Tina. He was that's when he was trying to feed the damn Wama a case of Dilla. You fat tub of lord. God.
Speaker: It was such a dumb fucking movie. It was so stupid. And I don't know what made it so captivating, but it just caught, it was the right movie, right time. That dance is still funny as hell. Yeah. This is such a dumb fucking movie. Little Kim in it. Holy shit. His brother, whatever, gone from being the nerdiest of nerds to being peaceful.
Speaker: the uncle that can't. He's like, I can't feel no football. Uncle Rico, man. He was he was drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals. You know, John Heater, the guy that played Napoleon, he only got paid like four grand for that movie. I believe it. But how much could that movie really cost to me?
Speaker: Exactly. Nobody was in it. Uh, except for, you know, a little kid, but, uh, a little kid that played kips kips girlfriend is a little kid. Really? Yeah. I didn't realize it either until, uh, I was, uh, somebody about a year ago, somebody told me to do that. It's a little Kim. I was like, Oh, crap. I'll be damned.
Speaker: speaking of my kids. I need somebody to bring my charger. Oh god. Wow. Catch your charger motherfucker. Yeah, my kids don't don't kick in doors like your daughter. Did she ever hear about us talking about her kicking in the door like she's? Well, she was standing right there when I was saying it. Yeah, they were they were all thinking about that.
Speaker: My wife heard that for the first time the other day. She's like, did you guys seriously call for Miley Cyrus? She came in like a wrecking ball. Just came in, just crashed. It's like, what the hell? You know what I'm doing. What are you doing, child? Oh, but we were just talking about animals at L. Not that we ever get to, but try to force it in here to make you shut the fuck up for a minute.
Speaker: but I still look at news stories. Yes, please. So, Friday in the in the Detroit River. Oh my god. Uh fishermen caught it. Yeah, as in Detroit, Michigan. The D, baby. I've never heard of the river. It's weird. Oh, man. It's there. Um a fisherman caught a
Speaker: freaking pound sturgeon. That could be more than 100 years old was caught in the Detroit River. Have you ever seen surgeons? Have you ever watched like river monsters or anything like that? No, I know sturgeon. They're real long though, aren't they? They're big.
Speaker: mean monsters and if I'm correct like the top of their head is like it's like a shield like there's overbite like their their their front teeth come stick up where their the bottom jaw sticks out farther than their top jaw correct um
Speaker: I'm not sure I think so but I think like the top of their head because they jump but the top of their head is like real um real hard and you know like I've seen them on on like river monsters and stuff like that where I think his name's Jeremy Knowles the fisherman on there um gets blasted in the chest with when they're jumping out of the water um I don't know there's gonna be some fishers some fishermen
Speaker: Yeah. Terry just shreds about that. Yeah. So, but he's a master baiter. A master baiter. Oh, man. A little pun there. Speaking of masturbating. So, yeah, they got kind of like a, they got kind of like a build. How do you know how old a fish is? Do you ask? I don't
Speaker: I think it's based off of the size and and okay. You know, the the the you can't cut it half the 50 rings. Yeah. No, like the like, you know, much like your dad, the masturbators, they might know. I'm I'm I'm it must be because of size. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. So this thing was caught in the Detroit River. But it was caught by US Fish and Wildlife Services. It's nearly seven feet long. Holy shit.
Speaker: Yeah. That is taller than you. Yeah. A good temperature. How much? 240 pounds. I outweigh him. I outweigh him, but he's got 10 inches of height on me. Yeah. So based on its, its, its girth and its size, it's assumed to be a female and that she's been roaming the waters for about a hundred years. So that's where they go off of their size and apparently their girth. Well, it's probably due to length as well because
Speaker: A normal sturgeon is what? What? Uh, no, they, they, they are a bit, they're big fish. They, they get, they generally get to be pretty big. They, they have a life expectancy of, uh, about 70 to a hundred years, uh, for females and the males will live about 55 years. So much like humans, much like the humans. Fish and game caught it. What are they going to do? Is it put in the tank? I don't know what they're going to eat it.
Speaker: Um, I don't know. It doesn't say in the story what they did with it. They just, I'm sure they caught her and released it. They probably tagged it. Yeah. Um, like they do with, what about a train trans fish? That's gotta be Kevin Holly. I know it says Facebook user, but I'm going to imagine that's a Kevin Holly comment.
Speaker: of the trans fish. Oh, no, it's AA Martin or A. Ron. My bad. That's my buddy. What's going on, buddy? Yeah, so I'm more than likely they tagged her. They threw her back in because. Oh, you didn't hear us talk about killing the other animals. Because lake sturgeons are considered threatened species. So yeah, they probably just tagged her. Being that big, they had
Speaker: They probably almost killed it taking pictures. Almost, you know, because seven foot. That's insane. They said it only took them about six minutes to get to get her up, to get her up on the boat. She's impressive. Put up a much fight. She must have been a little wharfish. That was a little wharfish. Hey, A -Ron. What's going on? Something said fucking Molly. Yeah, that's A -Ron. That's, that's. Kevin, Kevin.
Speaker: that's weird a seven foot because like I go deep sea fishing here when my pops comes I take him out and what they do on the way out to the deep deep water you catch tuna and then they cut the tuna up for bait and even pulling in tuna a decent sized tuna can take like three minutes a piece and they're just little foot long tunas well you
Speaker: I mean, it's deeper water. Yeah. I mean, you see, you see those people, you know, or you hear people go deep sea fishing and they'll fight a marlin or. Oh, yeah. Or I watch the guys or do a sailfish for like an hour and a half. Yeah. You know, they'll fight these biggest monsters for an hour or more. I mean, they're just as tired as the fucking fishes by the time that they get it up on the boat. So.
Speaker: You're just pooping at the bar, huh? Yeah. Just wipe and catch you guys later. That's nice to know we can entertain you while you're taking a good old check. Oh, we are your poop entertainment. You can find little TVs on the back of bathroom stalls. With our stupid faces. It's just different episodes of just the nonsense going on. The dumbest clips.
Speaker: I was actually a rod. I appreciate that. That leads me right into my next story. I got here, buddy. Yeah. It was like a perfect one. Um, says, uh, water Lou tree takes a battlefield prisoner and a portable, uh, laboratory laboratory.
Speaker: I'm sorry. Yeah. Porta body is essentially Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. The authorities say a man was rescued after a tree that fell during a high windstorm trapped him inside the porta toilet at Gettysburg National Military Park in South Central Pennsylvania. Oh, that poor bastard. The the vault of the volunteer fire department said on Facebook page that the crew was called a little round top shortly before four PM which I
Speaker: I know where that's at vaguely because when we were at the Chris Center, we took that Gettysburg trip with the history class. But shortly before four o 'clock Friday, Chief Joe Robinson told the York Daily record that they found a tree on top of a vehicle, but no one is inside. And Park Rangers then told them that the tree had trapped a man in the port of potty.
Speaker: That talk about insult, injury. First of all, it lands on your car and then traps you in the shitter. So when you finally get out of the shitter, you're like, oh, well, at least I'm out of there. Fuck my car. Oh, my car. They said they treated it like a car entrapment, cutting away the tree with the chainsaw and then cutting the portable body, cutting the body open with it with another saw.
Speaker: got the jaws of life and chainsaw. I'm sure all I really had to do is cut the cut the trees and move the branches and it would be fine. And they got their guys like look, make it look a little more dramatic. So I will, you know, be manly about this. It probably it probably crushed the porta potty. And they say that the trees the tree was well over 30 years old.
Speaker: I don't know. So, it probably, it probably crushed that porta potty. So, that's where the guy, I mean, the guy is lucky as hell that he didn't get **** killed. What the hell are you doing? I'm hollering at my kid to get my charger. Oh, my batteries. I got my screen down as low as you go. I gotta stand up. I sit on this wooden chair when I do the podcast. I need to get a better
Speaker: they said that the tree just missed striking him. It didn't suffer any serious injuries or anything like that. Oh, yeah. So, they had to they had to you know, cutting free and get the tree off of it and all that other jazz. So, I would say the show is shitty but that would be me. Uh thank you. Like when when that tree falls on falls on him,
Speaker: What happens when when a porta potty gets crushed at all? It's got all that Oh yeah. Oh so it probably it probably more than likely so it probably it's uh it more than likely it it uh you know if it
Speaker: depending upon how it went down. I mean, yeah, that stuff gets real gelatin and kind of becomes a thick consistency. It probably, it more likely could have come up out of there like a, like a toothpaste too. And then you're trapped in there. Not only that, and then the shade that you were under is gone. Yeah. Until the fire partner arrives. So it's getting warmer and warmer and the smell is getting more.
Speaker: Well, hopefully it was cool down there and Gettysburg. I guess it wouldn't be that. Yeah, that was Friday. What's going on, Tyler? What's up, buddy? That's still crazy. Let me keep talking. Kevin! So, yeah, just cannot imagine just being in there minding your own business, taking a shit, and all of a sudden, bah! And you don't get to play it on its phone.
Speaker: Oh yeah. Something on TikTok or something on Facebook. And all of a sudden there's a tree branch where his phone used to be. Oh man. Absolutely. Now I don't know about you, but if I have to use the Port of John, I'm not taking a shit in there unless it's an absolute emergency. I would have to have like explosive diarrhea. And I'm absolutely, and I'm absolutely
Speaker: Absolutely. Am I not spending too much time in there? I'm going to get in and out of there as quick as I possibly can. Oh yeah. So my phone is the last thing on my mind. If, if, if I'm having this shit in a, in a port of body. Yeah. But I mean, but to each their own every, everybody's different. Yeah. I've seen what was that? What was that movie? Um, it actually, uh,
Speaker: I can't remember the name of the movie. But it had the guy that played Bo Duke in it. And this girl goes on a date with him. The original Bo Duke? Yeah, the original. I mean, this movie's a lot. Stiffler and Johnny Notso. Oh, it's called The Second Chance. It's Catherine Zeta -Jones. And she starts dating the younger guy from National Treasure. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. You know National Treasure. Nick Cage.
Speaker: Yeah, I know what it is. I've never seen it. That's one of those three hour long movies that bore me in the first five minutes. Well, Catherine Rosetta Jones goes out on a date with the guy that used to be Bo Duke. It's in New York and they're walking down and all of a sudden he stops and he goes, go ahead and keep talking. And he goes into
Speaker: that's **** Porta John and literally carries on a conversation with her main date while taking a **** Oh no. Oh my gosh. It was just hilarious. The best thing was when we were young, we would tip over the tip tip over the pork bodies of the friends. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's I've never done it. Yeah, I've
Speaker: pretty drunk and and completely um we we we tipped over a line of them like dominoes. Nice Kevin. Uh there was there was like uh three or four of us and we just ran in. I mean three or four guys my size are bigger and just blasted one of them like shoulder blocked into it and they all went over like
Speaker: No, no, no, there's nobody in them. This is outside of a bar one night after it closed and everything. We were hanging out with everybody that worked there. Uh it was after like a like a weekend event. My my my personal. And uh it was it was after a weekend event. So, they were, you know, they were coming to get picked up. And so, we just were like, oh, you know what? That wasn't my
Speaker: That was not, that was not my problem. Like I make sure I get my label out there so that when we get to play the sponsor, they see I care. Yeah. I don't remember who it was, but a buddy of mine, his, he was backing up his truck.
Speaker: And his girlfriend's like, oh, hold on. I have to go to the bathroom. She ran into a port of John and he actually backed into it and knocked it over on his. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I've never, we've never knocked him over on a first, but we've, we've, we've like, we've backed up to him or pulled up to him just so they couldn't get out. Now that's fucking disgusting. Yeah. He literally, I'm assuming that's Tyler.
Speaker: I'm at a music festival. He nailed a girl inside of one. He had to hold his she had to hold your nose because of the Port of John or because of her. most of those music festivals like they're not the they're not the number ones. Well, it's not even the number one, but most
Speaker: Most people at a music festival haven't showered in like four or five days because they've been at a festival. Thank you. Speaking of nail and chicks. Go ahead. In Berlin, Germany, the German bomb squad was called to investigate a suspected hand grenade
Speaker: and a Bavarian forest determined that the object was actually a rubber sex toy shaped like a grenade. Nice.
Speaker: A jogger, a jogger reported finding a bag containing the device Monday at a forest outside of the city of Passau, near Germany's borders with Australia or Austria and Czech Republic.
Speaker: the discovery of the forgotten or hidden munitions is still a regular occurrence in Germany more than you know so even after 75 years from from from the world from World War two they're still finding munitions and stuff so this wasn't that strange of a phone call to get but what's strange about it is like they got like 50 guys from the bomb squad there they got the whole bomb squad there
Speaker: 10 year old duffle bag and it turns out and they're like, it's a grenade where it should be fine. Wait a minute. It's not gonna blow up, but it's gonna turn that goddamn thing on. Gretchen, get away from that thing. But I don't like it. Oh my God.
Speaker: Boss, we've got a problem here. This is buzzing. It feels good in my hand though. Hands, drop it. I take home for my girlfriend. That reminds me. Did you hear my Nazi joke?
Speaker: Knock, knock. No, no. You asked the question. We even asked the questions. I did that today. Like I said, I went to lunch at my buddy's restaurant. And one of the girls that worked with my wife, she was standing there and I said, have you heard my Nazi joke? And she goes, no. I said, knock, knock. Oh, man.
Speaker: And seriously, what happened? Right? Yeah, we're back. Yeah, you jumped off for a second. Yeah, it was like connection lost. Nope, just kidding. You're back. But her friend said, I go knock knock and her friend goes to say who's there and I do the biggest, loudest, we won't ask the questions. And he shared her so much she would fell over and then starts dying laughing.
Speaker: right? The actual part of that joke is you're actually supposed to slap the person. Yeah, you're slapping the person. But considering it's a woman and I'm in an open restaurant. There's 2021. Don't slap women in public. Keep that behind the door when you're wearing your wife Peter there, Freddy. But I did it to my kids the other day. I said, Kevin, have you heard my Nazi joke?
Speaker: The problem is he ruined the joke because he's like, what's a Nazi? I was like, uh, here, we'll watch Schindler's list first. I made him watch 15 minutes to Schindler's list. And I'm like, OK, now you want to go to Nazi joke? Oh, man. Talk about traumatizing your child. Oh, my God. That was so bad. We watched that movie in eighth grade, and I'm still fucked up by it. I was like, I know it's weird. Every once in a while, I'll put it on, just be like, wow, that's fucked up.
Speaker: I don't know why, but every once in a while, I watch that movie. Well, thanks, Tyler. I appreciate that. Tyler's like, look, you might be the next Joe Rogan or Dana White. You have a voice for radio. You also have a face for radio. I was about to say, that was a little slash. You got a voice for radio. Your face, let's go ahead and keep it off. If you can do it without video, I hope you will. Yeah, right.
Speaker: Uh, yeah, no, I shouldn't, shouldn't Schindler's list, man. That was a, wow. It was such a good movie, but God damn, it was so, it's heartbreaking. It really is. It takes me like three weeks to watch the movie itself. I watched like 20 minutes. I'm like, all right, I gotta stop. It's, I mean, it's, it's a true story. I mean, so it's just like, wow, weirds me out about it. Um,
Speaker: What was the other one that I was, that's hard? Roots. Roots cracks me. Okay, I'm gonna leave that alone. It's almost a parody of itself because it's, you know, it was way worse than I betray in Roots. Oh, yeah. It was absolutely. Where Schindler's List, you're like, wow, that's fucked up.
Speaker: and I'm sure it was worse in the time being, but you can watch Schindler's List and go, wow, that's fucked up. Where you watch Roots go, wow, that's fucked up. But it's not as bad as Schindler's List. That was fucked up, but it could have been worse. It was worse. It was worse, but it doesn't feel like it could be worse. You know what I mean?
Speaker: So yeah, but Runch is nothing that I just, I watched for like 15 minutes. I'm like, all right, I need a break. It takes me forever to watch it. Plus it's like what, 12 hours long? Your name's Toby boy. What's your name? Oh my God. I was like, Jesus Christ. I showed that we were watching the movie Friday.
Speaker: And when Ice Cube drops the Ice Cube, he says, what am I gonna contain this motherfucker? And I was like, I don't get that reference. And I was like, hold up. Wait a minute. YouTube. And I put in the - Turned into a 90s rapper. Hold up. Wait. I put in that scene and she's like, what the hell's this from? I said, this is from Roots. She's like,
Speaker: Holy, but for those listening, my wife is Mexican. We live in Mexico. So she's never seen roots. And I was like, oh my gosh, you got to see. I don't have a porn stash. I told you. Told you if you shave it off, you would have a porn stash. I should have kept my purple wife beat around. You could see my beard better.
Speaker: You're like, so unlike me, you get ready to do the podcast. You're like, I'm going to put a shirt on. Well, I guess I need to take off layers because it's 3000 degrees. Yeah. Well, since, since yesterday, I was busy all day and had everything going on. Um, I didn't get to do my running around. Well, then this morning I got up, man, I got up early and I came out here and started working on episode six and getting it all doing what I was doing. And my, uh,
Speaker: my parents called me and they needed help breaking the shit up out of the basement and stuff like that. I was like, hey, give me a few minutes. Let me finish up what I'm doing. I'll be urban. Well, I had to do a couple, I had some errands I had to run. So I went and got that taken care of. And then I came home and I changed. I just changed my shirts because it's hot as hell up here. And I hadn't, I hadn't turned my air conditioner on. So I had, uh, uh, my, my tank top on. Oh yes. The macho man, Randy Savage tank top.
Speaker: I was like, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
Speaker: I literally I literally get right before we get ready to record. I had an argument argument in my head on if I should take my polo shirt off because this is what I wear to work. Nobody can see anything except your literally all we can see is your LeBron James fade.
Speaker: here's LeBron James hairline. That's fucking running away from you, bro. If I were to take off my polo shirt, I would be in the wife beater and I would be called Freddie Mercury for the next two hours. And I was like, you know what? Regardless of if you ever wear a wife beater again, you from that episode on, oh, is that three, four, you will forever be known as Freddie Mercury. And
Speaker: You know, I really feel like I think I'm going to put a poll up and I think we're going to have a Jeff Singh's queen segment at least once a week. And you're going to have to sing us a little queen. I bought those earbuds and I came out of the hotel today and I walked from one hotel to the other, which is only 400 yards in the sun. And when I'm done, when I'm done at my hotel, I walk back to go meet my wife.
Speaker: And then we jump on her friend's car and we go home. And I put my earbuds in, I got out of high security and I put it on and just some of the best songs in my playlist just started, this is on random, you know? Just some of the best songs. I almost started dancing. I was like happy to be out of work. I was like wanting to dance, but I can't dance.
Speaker: Well, you know, not only are we going to do the Jeff Singh's clean segment, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to, no, we're going to every, every week we're going to put a poll up and we're going to let the, let our, our, our fan base or our followers or whatever you want to call them pick the Queen song that you're going to do a little rendition of. And we lost to a poll to shave off. So you have nothing but the porn stash.
Speaker: Well, that's not going to happen. It's not even my choice. You're going to ruffle the feathers of mama bear. She's going to have to kick somebody's head. So we're going to be like, somebody's going to cover there. She's got any one of you motherfuckers that vote.
Speaker: that he changed his beard. I'm going to cut your ass. I'm going to cut your real fucking beat just so you know and she's got that real thick southern accent which she goes when she throws that mom voice on it's scary. It's almost as scary. It's it's damn near scarier than than the dad voice when the kids push you off. Oh my dad voice literally goes into some song. I just I don't really I mean I don't screamer.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, chill with my kids, but every once in a while I'm just like, I'll get loud, but I don't, I don't try not to scream. I know that the first time, one of the first times, um, Summer came up to visit and, uh, Parker was up here with her. Uh, my, my other boy.
Speaker: I had to get after him and him and him and cash because they were fighting or something. I scared the hell out of him. He did not like the dad's way. His real dad's a piece of crap, but yeah, so he was like, Oh God. I was like, I didn't mean to, my bad dude. Like I felt bad because it was like, but I got the point of drugs.
Speaker: yeah he's like well let's rock let's really not really piss his man off yeah he said but he said no maybe i think i'm gonna stick with that no uh how is i'm pretty sure that no is a serious no
Speaker: So I'm gonna take that no as a no, right dad? Yeah, I would. Now my other son, now his little smart ass will try to negotiate with me. Yeah. It's like I said no. Well, how about I do this instead of that? My son is the negotiator. My daughter, my daughter is the CIA agent. She will literally stand there, look at your feet,
Speaker: while you scream, yell, do whatever you want. She won't move. She'll sit there and stare at your feet. It is weird. Yeah. My middle daughter, she's like, oh, he said, no, fuck his feelings. What's he going to do about it? I wish he'd fucking tried me. I'm like, no, my daughter, she literally like.
Speaker: she did something and you can you know she did it like you know she put marker on the cabinet or something and you know she did it because the same color markers all over her hand yeah and you ask her because you want the truth you say who did this and she'll stare at the ground not say a word for a few hours you can sit there I know you did it just tell me you did it and you won't be in trouble nothing just
Speaker: I'm like, you know what? That chick's gonna end up being CIA international spy or something because she can get caught and she'll never give up anything. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't do it. I didn't fucking do it. Somebody else did. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out who this not me and I don't know that live in my house. I don't know. I don't know. But I'm gonna find them little fuckers. I'm a bitch to shit out of them too.
Speaker: Yeah, somebody's getting their ass who is constantly running around my house doing something. Yeah. And it was her and it was him live here too. It was her. It was him. Was it me? All these motherfuckers about to get an ass whoopin. I'm chaining them up in the basement. The one thing I find funny is my kids will literally, uh, my son found a pack of matches because everyone's wild.
Speaker: I'll forget my lighter at the house when I go to the store and pick up cigarettes. So on the way home, instead of buying another lighter, I'll pick a pack of matches because it cost me like 10 cents. And I had the pack of matches. I set them on the bathroom sink, my bathroom sink, because I was taking stuff out of my pocket to take a shower. And my son found the pack of matches. There's 50 matches in a pack.
Speaker: I come upstairs about 45 minutes to an hour later to go to the bathroom and my shower floor has matchsticks all over it. All of them burnt and of course the room feels like sulfur. And I know it's my son. You have a demon in your bathroom. Yeah. And I asked my son, who did this? And he says,
Speaker: Well, it wasn't me. Did you ask him like that? No, no, no, no. But I said, who did this? And my son said, I don't know. It wasn't me. I asked my daughter, she says, it wasn't me. So I went down to my wife and I said, you're in trouble. I started screaming at my wife.
Speaker: I texted my wife before. Yeah. I was going to say, I went down and just randomly screamed at my wife. And that's why you have an eight inch scar on your stomach when she stabs you. As I'm walking down the stairs from my bathroom, I'm going to text my wife. I'm going to yell at you about what happened in the bathroom. And she texts back, go for it.
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead. I went in there and I said, that's it. Get out of my house. I can't stand you doing stuff like that. And my kids were like, oh, mom, I'm out of the house. And my son, after 30 minutes of me yelling, my wife went, dad, I'm sorry, it was actually me. So I grounded him for three days for it.
Speaker: And then I grounded an extra day for lying about it. We sent them both to my rooms. I turned to my wife and I was like, Holy shit, I can't believe that worked. Yeah, I was going to say that worked and it won't work again. It'll never work again. Yeah, it's a one time deal.
Speaker: I don't think I could, I don't think I could get away with that even, even with like send her a message and be like, Hey, I want to, I want to come out and I'm gonna start yelling and screaming at you. My wife literally played along. Cause in sales, we do this thing called play house where you're like, how cheap is this? Oh wow. That's super cheap. You know? So I sent her the message. I said, I'm going to come down, yell at you play house about what's happened in the bathroom.
Speaker: two -second text, she put, do it. She knew it was all about, you know, teaching a lesson. And she went with it and she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. I swear I didn't do it. Please don't yell at me. She really sold it. She grabbed her chonkla off her foot and started swinging before she would say, please don't yell at me.
Speaker: She's like, I really don't know what you're talking about. Why are you yelling at me? Doing the fakest cry, fakest cry I've ever seen. Like not going to win an Academy award, not even like it's going to win. What's the, what's the golden globe and the Emmy. No, no, no, no. It makes fun. The very one, one for catwoman. No. Fuck. I don't know, man.
Speaker: But it's like, wouldn't would win that. And it's from really bad acting or something like that. When it totally won that. And, you know, and I'm trying not to laugh. She's well, I swear to God, she's trying to make me laugh while I'm yelling at her playing house on this
Speaker: who burnt up all my matchsticks. It wasn't about the matchsticks. It's about the fact that you're playing with fire. I can't even light a cigarette now because you used up all my matches. And she's like, sorry, it wasn't me. Are you sure it wasn't the kids? And she's looking at the kids. If you guys don't tell the truth, dad's going to get mad. Really?
Speaker: I mean, I mean, meanwhile, meanwhile, you're putting on an Oscar winning performance and she's putting on, you know, you do realize at some point because you're you're only all of like four foot nine that your kids are going to be bigger than you. My daughter is going to be tall like her mother. At some point, your son's going to be like, if you don't shut your little ass the fuck up, I swore, I swore to God. I beg him.
Speaker: I beg him to try. I found the dad that says, why would you hit me? I'm the dad that's going to hit me. He's going to come down the stairs one day and be like, ole yo vato vamanos ese? He'll be like, oh, it's hard. You saw it. I told my brother -in -law the other day, he's like,
Speaker: I turned 16 this year before his birthday. You keep wearing all that cologne, you won't live to see 16. And I said, you know what? For your 18th birthday, I have the best present for you. And he goes, really? What? I said, I want you right in the mouth. And he looked at me like, why would you do that? I said, do you remember when I first met your sister? He goes, no. I said, you were like five.
Speaker: and you came out and thought it was hilarious to throw rocks at my car. Yeah. And I'm going to pay you back for it the second you turn 18. I'm going to wake you up. I'm going to be the first person to wake you up at 5 a .m. and go, happy birthday. Oh, he fell back. Happy birthday, bitch. Pow! See you next year. When you wake up from that coma, I literally had a
Speaker: It was the nicest, cleanest, no dense, flawless paint job car that I had ever bought. It was a 1983 Chevy Pinto. It was an 07 Sunfire 2 .2 liter five speed. This thing was real. I polished it to, you know, it looked like somebody had taken a,
Speaker: uh a Trans Am and trunk it. Put a four cylinder. Oh yeah. I know. I know what the sunfires are. What a beautiful car and beautiful pewter silver flawless and it had been buffed to perfection and this little kid sitting there throwing rocks at the hood of my car and I literally I know my then girlfriend now wife two days and I'm like uh I don't mean to be mean but if your
Speaker: You're not going to have a brother too much longer. Oh, the soccer kicked him right in the fucking head. Oh man. And, you know, she's like, he's just being a kid. I said, he's not going to be a kid very much longer.
Speaker: Yeah, that's talking about your son coming out and calling you out. I got two boys that are a year apart. And these two have been as thick as thieves, man, since they met each other. Literally, the first time Summer came up to visit, Cash and Parker met each other. They've been like, this is my brother.
Speaker: Yeah, their ear part like they were. They were brothers from day one and I know damn well the minute one of them. Things he's got to set on him that he's going to call me out. The other was gonna be like, yep, let's go. And Parker's in karate, so I got fucking karate kid and then my. Cassius Cassius like he's a he's a sneaky little bastard and he likes to play like he's not.
Speaker: a fighter or anything like that or he doesn't want to cause problems but he he causes all kinds of **** and I'm like, I'm going to have to I'm going to have to fight both of these jagasses. So, he'll instigate and the other will come up for the swing. Yeah, it's like, I'm going to have to
Speaker: Yeah. You'll be looking at the cash and Parker will come up just clocking the side of the head and wake up 20 minutes later going, where the fuck was that? I'm gonna have to fight both these sons of bitches. I'm hitting one of them with a brick. Right? As soon as one gets lippy there, one of them's catching a brick and the other one's catching a ball back. I grew up in the streets. You know, you just remind him, remind him every now and then. Look.
Speaker: I brought you into this world. I will. I'm just, I'm just going to wait till they get older. Just randomly punch them in the head. Just for no reason. Remember that. Just know. I'm not afraid to hit.
Speaker: that's the best thing you can do for a kid on 18th birthday just pop him in the jaw now look future reference that's not even half my power yeah that's what i'm afraid of about the time i do that the other was good parker's gonna hit me with a roundhouse i'm gonna punch cash and parker's gonna be like
Speaker: The boys aren't even the ones that honestly scare me it's my middle daughter just because she's she's she's a fucking clone of me I mean you know
Speaker: her her her size her her even even mentally i mean she's just got the same yeah like the same attitude that i have if she don't give a fuck about anybody or any anything and it's like she's like the size facts don't care about your feelings dad
Speaker: You're like, I'm your father and she's like, the facts don't care about you. It's like, I know there's going to come a time where she's going to snap and she's going to fucking hurt somebody. And I hope I'm not in the vicinity when she does it.
Speaker: That's why I try to be on the good side of my kids, just in case, especially my daughter, because she's a psychopath. When you're yelling at her, like I said, she's staring at your feet, and all of a sudden, she'll just look up without moving her head like a demon. And you're just like, you know what? I'm going to stay on the kid's good side, just in case, because that looks like the Unabomber.
Speaker: You give that chick a hood and some sunglasses? That's the Unabomber. Unabomber all day long. I'm not fucking with that kid. Speaking of. Speaking of criminals. Uh oh. Got this dummy. I know we're talking. I meant to bring this up earlier when we were talking about the it wasn't me. I don't know. You know.
Speaker: Did somebody use that defense? No, no, they couldn't in this situation. The judge is like, really? Really, dude? Come on. Everybody put in all points, bolts and out for it wasn't me. And I don't know. No, no, this guy had no defense whatsoever to use. Maricopa Arizona and Maricopa Arizona. Words are hard.
Speaker: The cops have arrested a man who police believe severed his finger while slashing his neighbor's tires and an argument. So he cut his fucking finger off, tried to slash his neighbor's tires. Pretty sure you're doing it wrong. Yeah.
Speaker: You see an Instagram post with his finger missing going, damn it. I didn't know. I didn't know. It wasn't me. I don't know what happened. Can you call an ambulance? Seriously, how? OK, in his defense, slashing a tire on the movies looked really easy. In real life, not super easy. He was seriously strong. I guarantee you, he tried to use a pocket knife.
Speaker: and it closed on him. Probably. So the Kevin Johnson was arrested and identified as the owner of the finger found on his neighbor's driveway. He left the finger on the driveway. Talk about incriminating evidence. He left the finger. We have your fingerprints because we have your finger. You don't have my fingerprints.
Speaker: I wore gloves. Were they blue gloves by chance? Yeah, but how did you know? Well. Fingers in the glove. Like it's a little sheath. Like a miniature samurai sword. Which finger was it? Was it like a pinky index? What? It says Kevin Johnson was arrested and identified as the owner of the finger. Found on his neighbor's driveway in Casa Grande.
Speaker: Wednesday. This has been a couple of weeks ago. Francesca Wyckoff. Wow. So hopefully she found the finger on April 15th and discovered that her vehicle had two slash tires on one side. It gets even better. It gets even better. How did the police track down Kevin Johnson? You might ask.
Speaker: Well, well, police said she found the finger on April 15th after discovering her vehicle at two slash tires on the on the on the one side. The police said a trail of blood led to
Speaker: Not only did you leave your finger, you have blood all the way across the street to your house. You fucking wrap it up and what's left of your shirt. You got the finger. No, you're just like, fuck. You can walk away. Oh, man. Authority said Wyckoff and her husband went to a neighbor's home the day before. She told the police the male neighbor joined them uninvited, became drunk and aggressive.
Speaker: The neighbor pushed and threatened her and her husband before being asked to leave. Johnson was arrested on multiple charges, criminal damage, assault, threatening and intimidating, and in disorderly conduct. But it does not say how we cut his finger off, right? I guarantee you the judge was like, did you learn the lesson?
Speaker: yeah don't use that kind of knife uh next time i'm gonna use a buck knife i won't use a a uh a bucket knife a dull one no less because they couldn't have been that dull well cut his finger clean off well he probably went to stab it and the blade closed and
Speaker: his hand slipped and punched through. You know what I'm saying? Like it closed on his finger and then his fist kept going so onto the tire or whatever. But yeah, I guess it's gonna be too dull. Maybe not very pointy. Probably, I was gonna say the blade itself was actually probably pretty sharp. I mean, to cut his clip. And that's the other thing, was he still drunk when he did that? Because I've used
Speaker: per whatever government agency. You had to rinse the bottle three times and then you had to stab holes in it so that the bottle couldn't be used again. So I was holding the bottle in my hand. I'm stabbing holes and my boss is like, Hey, click, be careful because that knife sharp as it goes through the bottle and I mean like to the bone in my finger. And I'm like, yeah, you could have told me that before. And I held up the bottle that was stuck to my hand. I did that onto my pinky with a drill bit. Yeah.
Speaker: I've used a lot
Speaker: But I mean, I've used. Yeah, I've used a lot of knives in my time. Yeah, I've cut myself this and the other thing. But when you have a pocket knife. The first thing you do is this. Yeah, you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, you pull away and you're like, God damn. So how did you not notice that the knife just cut your cut his finger, clean the fuck off?
Speaker: He was either still extremely drunk or he was just that pissed off at his neighbor. She's like, fuck that finger. I didn't need it anyways. I'm going through with it. I don't need that. It must've been a combination of the two. He must've been so drunk, the blade closed, and then he just like fucking punched the band. So the blade still wrapped around his finger, and the blade closed more.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know. I'd like to I'd like to know more on how the hell like I just want to do a science experiment. So not cut my own finger off. Yeah, you know, get some big dummy doll and yeah, really put chicken bone in there, you know, yeah, just to see like, I mean, and he had to catch it. It's not even a point where you can catch it in your finger where there's, there's no bone or anything like that because even if you go through the knuckle, it's you got the cartilage, but
Speaker: I've broken my finger several times. It's not that easy to break. You'd be surprised at how easy a finger will break. Trust me. I've broken mine.
Speaker: Yeah, I've broken my fingers several times. I've, I've snapped a couple of fingers. Uh, we was, we was at a concert one time here in Ohio. They used to do country jam every year. Uh, we was, and there was that Polaris amphitheater, which players before.
Speaker: they built the amphitheater and it was amazing and then they built a bunch of houses around it and then all the idiots have bought houses behind the amphitheater complained about the noise so they they basically had to shut down the amphitheater uh and move it to the uh yeah uh move it or they all the concerts now are at crew stadium for the the soccer team our MLS team here right reigning reigning world champion Columbus crew
Speaker: Not that I know anything about soccer, but good job guys. They're like the people that bought, they bought houses around mid -ohio racetrack about the races. I actually dated a girl that they built in there. Her great grandfather built the house. And when they built the racetrack, they, they're so close to my ex girlfriend's house that they gave them lifetime entrance. Nice.
Speaker: Trust me, I went to several races while I did. Oh, yeah, that would be awesome. But I mean, so lifetime pass. Nice. But yeah, no, we were in a concert one time. And there was this jackass that was there that was like, standing in front of us just being a dick. And I'd ask him a couple times like, Hey, man, just slide over.
Speaker: The girl I was dating at the time was like, you're writing her way, man. And I was like, you can move over a little bit and you're not going to hinder anything. And he wouldn't be an asshole. And then he turned around and flipped me off. And without even missing a beat, without even thinking about it, I just snatched his fucking middle finger and I snapped that some bitch clean in half.
Speaker: Fucking technical difficulties y 'all man. I tell you what we changed the name from nonsensical nonsense to technical difficulties It'd make a whole lot more fucking sense But not to leave you guys hanging with that story basically, I broke the kid's finger and he had No idea how to react or respond to that because he took him off guard
Speaker: so bad that all he did was sit down in his seat for the remainder of the concert and uh... stare at the stage but you know lesson learned you got to be careful with people you never know when you're going to come up you know coming up against the wrong one that uh... there's a few french fries short of a happy meal if you know what i mean but uh... guys we appreciate y 'all listening those of you that listen live and that we're chatting away thank you guys uh... if you guys aren't already um...
Speaker: Check out the Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok all under nonsensical nonsense. Be the easiest way to get updates. Oh my goodness. Most importantly, if you're not already, the most important thing to do is download the free anchor app and look up nonsensical nonsense and give us a favor. That way you'll get a notification every time we post a new episode.
Speaker: But we will see you guys again Wednesday night with a brand new episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense. Y 'all have an amazing week. Tomorrow's Monday. Go out there and kick Monday's ass. And we'll see y 'all Wednesday.
Speaker: Oh, Lord And I've been waiting for this moment For all of my life Oh, Lord Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Oh, Lord
Speaker: Well, if you told me you were drowning How would I lend a hand? I've seen your face before, my friend
Speaker: But I don't know if you know who I am Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off a grin And know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies
Speaker: And I can feel it coming in the air tonight Oh Lord And I've been waiting for this moment all my life Oh Lord
Speaker: Will I remember? No, I remember, don't worry How could I ever forget it's the first time The last time we ever met Well, I know the reasons why you keep your silence on
Speaker: I know you don't love me. And if it doesn't show, don't place your doors. No straight jobs to you or me. I can't wait to come with you every night. Oh, Lord. I've been waiting for this moment.
Speaker: All my life Can you feel it coming in the air tonight?
Speaker: I've been waiting for this moment all my life Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord
