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C1 Ep. 91 The Road Below Chapter Five
329 Plays6 years ago
The planning of Crast, Thorin, and Drakir continues as they make the final preparations for their daring rescue of Commander Bala.
This episode is brought to you by the generous donations of our amazing Show Sponsors: Laura Pickrahn, Jessica Smith, Irene Viorritto, Ryan Royce, Darrin Katzska, Darrell DeLaney, Jon Cary, Charles Compton, Nikko Batson, Matt Lewis, The Kamm Family, and David Scrams.
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Transcript
Introduction and Acknowledgements
00:00:01
Speaker
This show is brought to you by the generous donations of our show sponsors, Matt Lewis, Laura Pickron, Irene Villarito, Darryl Delaney, Nico Batson, Darren Katska, Ryan Royce, John Kerry, Jessica Smith, The Cam Family, Charles Compton, and David Scrams, as well as all of our generous patrons.
Eberron Review Podcast Introduction
00:00:26
Speaker
The quickest way to a man's heart is between the third and fourth rib. Sayings of the Umbrigen collected in the Wayfinder's Guide to Zindrick.
00:01:01
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Eberron Review, the D&D 5th edition actual play podcast set in the Eberron campaign setting. I'm your dungeon master, Eric. I'm Phillip. I'm Randy. Jeff. And welcome to another episode.
Mission Recap: Rescuing Commander Bala
00:01:10
Speaker
Gentlemen, what happened last time? We plotted to rescue Captain or Commander Bala. We have good plans with no guarantees that they'll happen.
00:01:23
Speaker
You know, good might be strong. We do have plants. I think they're good. Actually, I do think they're good plants. We recruited the Swords of Liberty. We hope. Which, yeah, which Krest is having mixed feelings about, obviously. Since he hates them so. Are his feelings mixed? Maybe my feelings are mixed. Okay.
00:01:51
Speaker
Yeah. So basically our plan is we are going to ambush a death parade.
Ambush Planning
00:02:01
Speaker
Cause those are the sentences that happen when you play Dungeons and Dragons. So very true. We're going to ambush a death parade. So as our, we anticipating the swords to get in touch with us about where to stage this attack or. Well, I had a thought on that.
00:02:20
Speaker
I can't just, I can't just ask for a meeting with, uh, Hey to the ear when art, but if we'd let enough time pass, I will want to see if I could go to the castle. Ask you if lady ear would not, is that how? Probably. Yeah.
00:02:46
Speaker
lady here we're going because you're not a princess, right? Right. Well, actually kind of, but from not from here. Okay. Ask if she is there. And if I'm asked anything, I can say, Oh, I was something about, something about Ava. I don't know. We're asking to take a point in the general vicinity. And if there's three feet of stone between me and her, and then I just point and I'd say, I'm the guy with the plan from the thing. I mean, what, how could I word that? I don't know.
00:03:17
Speaker
Does you have to assume that the word has gotten to her by that point? I know. That's the problem. How much time do we have? How much time did we have from the initial meeting? Because I would say we probably at least had an hour and a half worth of stuff we did. Yeah, I mean, I was saying that it was right at dawn when you all were getting together. So I would say you all still have at least a few hours left. OK.
00:03:45
Speaker
I just need to track down Ava again, see how many people she's passed the word around to. See what the word on the street is. So, I go to another place that I assume I might find Ava. Okay, give me an investigation check to track her down. It's five.
00:04:08
Speaker
with the advantage from crash. I did get advantage last time. Ava's not your contact. That's a different scenario. I tried. No. Oh no, I get advantage on intimidating the... Maybe she'll find you. Yeah, you go to one of the spots that you and Ava normally meet at and Ava's not there.
Searching for Ava
00:04:31
Speaker
Is anybody wearing a blue sashes, red sashes, blue, anybody wearing a blue sash? Um, yeah, you see somebody wearing a blue stash, uh, really burly looking, uh, not to be trifled with gentlemen standing there bald head, big chops. What I've learned is there's no one who is not to be trifled with. Um,
00:04:58
Speaker
I like to think that I'm not wearing any insignia right now. So I can just walk up and be like, it's a big town. Hope this guy doesn't know who I am. And I disguise my voice. And I go up to him and I go,
00:05:20
Speaker
Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I'm looking for Ava. Have you seen her? Go away. Come on, man. I need a hit. She's my supplier of drugs.
00:05:44
Speaker
I don't say the last part. It came into my head and I had to say it out loud to you guys. Wow. Alright fine, are you holding? What do you want? I don't even know what it's called. Ava just gives me this stuff.
00:06:06
Speaker
what stuff does Ava give you? Okay, I did see it earlier. You have the bag. Yeah, but I'm not telling him that. She gives me this, I've run out. So I just describe it. It's a inky liquid with kind of incandescent like shimmer to it. My character would not use the word, not Thorin. Thorin's character would not use the word like incandescent. It's like thick and it's got shiny stuff in it.
00:06:39
Speaker
and he reaches into his bag and he says, which one of these two? And you are looking at two vials of inky black liquid that to your eyes are identical. That's a sort of joke, man. They look the same.
Poisoning Plot Discussion
00:06:53
Speaker
Look, where's Ava? Give me an insight check. All right. Finally, something I have proficiency in.
00:07:04
Speaker
Uh, 20, 20. Um, you can tell like looking at him as he's holding these two vials, he's messing with you at this point. Um, just trying to see if he can get a rise out of you. So, yeah. Oh, well now I'm about to rise. No, I say, I say, come on. Where's, where's Eva? Oh, she had other business to attend to. Do you have any idea where I could find her?
00:07:33
Speaker
I mean, she was talking to the boss. Was she getting- was she getting promoted? Good for her! Like the big boss? Awesome! You know, just a guy that tells us where to go sell, man. Oh, I thought you meant- okay. Who did you think I was talking about? I don't know, there's gotta be somebody above him, right? That's all. Bye.
00:08:05
Speaker
And after I get a good 15 feet away, I turn around, I go, I say, I don't know, for some reason to give my hand to my back and go, oh crap, nevermind, I'm good. Put it back in my back and I run off.
00:08:23
Speaker
You're just the best undercover cop ever. 25 feet. I'm a really good undercover cop. I'm not an undercover cop. I'm a dirty cop. You're not a cop. I know. You're the best undercover agent ever. Hey, I mean, that went exactly how I planned it. Okay. Now I know that she's at least running things up the chain.
00:08:49
Speaker
Um, but I don't know what to do about it. Uh, what's next? Fellas. I would like to find a wine cellar for wine. Now I do need to ask.
00:09:15
Speaker
because I clear my throat again sorry that was a character I do need to ask because you have mentioned it several times you're
Light-hearted Wordplay and Deception
00:09:24
Speaker
a poisoning type of person and you're looking for a wine Jesus you're looking for a wine cellar are you are you planning on poisoning someone if the opportunity arises
00:09:44
Speaker
Now here's where I need to... Here's where we need to... Okay. Opportunity or necessity? Opportunity. Yeah, crap. Who? Who? Oh. Well... There are so many people.
00:10:02
Speaker
Well, I could think of Beric one. Beric has been having a very hard time. And Dex made it clear that he needed the support of Dex and myself in this time of difficulty. And I have been thinking how to do that because I did not really do that sort of thing of comforting. And so I thought, would it not be very comforting to Beric if I poisoned the false king?
00:10:30
Speaker
Kind of where I thought you were going. Well, you know, now that you've said it, I don't know the point of the conversation you had with that guy, but I bet that's exactly what he meant. It's not. See, my only qualm is that I do want to believe you because I'm in so deep that I have to hope you're right.
00:11:02
Speaker
But it's also possible you'd just be committing regicide. When he is dead, he will revert back to changeling form, I believe, so you will see. That would be a real weight off my shoulders. Also, an excellent distraction. If the Swords of Liberty do not come through. I have to be really honest, I'm getting disturbed with how much sense this makes. I'm extremely persuasive. Unusually right.
00:11:39
Speaker
I'm stealing that one for life. How well do Thorin and Krasst know each other? I mean, is he just a contact? He's just worked with him some. Do they know each other really well? I mean, would he believe that Krasst would be involved in this if... You guys have worked a few missions together. I wouldn't say you were best friends or... I think trust... I think I trust you just enough to have gone along with this in the first place.
00:12:07
Speaker
Like that was almost to the point of incredulity. And you, the reason you contacted Thorin is because you know that he is not the type of person to just go along with things like the rank and file. Like, Oh, we have been told that commander ball is bad. So we are going to believe that she is bad. So Thorin does have a mind of his own when it comes to the hierarchy.
00:12:29
Speaker
And what I've realized is that Drakir has always been unsettling, but spending so long amongst the party, he has begun to enjoy unsettling people. Okay. Well, Thorin is thoroughly unset.
00:12:52
Speaker
We have cookies thanks to Irene. They're delicious. Snickerdoodles are out of this world. I get to eat them for the first time ever. But every time Eric has tried to reach over his DM screen to take them, I've taken a lot of pleasure in either pretending to or actually slapping his hand away. And that's just something I felt like I needed to share with you guys. No, that's true. There's been the occasional odd noise and then you giggle.
00:13:19
Speaker
Yep, that's what it is. It's just me hitting my friend. Well, I mean, I live here. I have some wine. Not that the king would drink. No, I need to find a wine seller because I need to impersonate a wine seller who is selling wine at the parade. Can I tell you something? Sure. Homophones.
00:13:50
Speaker
you need to find a wine merchant, not a cellar in which wine is stored. This is correct. A cellar of wine.
Executing the Poisoning Plan
00:13:59
Speaker
You too? Yeah, I was like, you could go to a pub, they would probably have a basement pad cast of wine in it. Look, there's the bald raven tavern right there. Let's just go buy a bottle of fine wine. I don't have to go find a cellar anywhere. Break into somebody's house with a cellar of wine? Wait, what is this other word?
00:14:19
Speaker
Okay, we call, what you call home. Merchant. We call basements. We call sellers what you call front doors. Cause you live underground. Oh, it's just space underground. A wine seller is a place typically underground. Yes. I see. Where one keeps their wine because of the constant temperature. And you use the same word for that as for one who sells wine.
00:14:48
Speaker
Well, see, they're not the same word. They just sound the same. I don't know you well, but I bet that somebody who maybe has done 89 episodes of a podcast with you, but he's not here. He's elsewhere. He would probably be able to recall times that you've said homophones yourself.
00:15:10
Speaker
Dracure doesn't think they're homophones. At some point you've probably talked about the color blue, or you've said something about another example. And it's called blue because blue is color associated with the sky and the wind blows and the past tense of blows is blue. You know what's sad is Dracure seems so sharp that's the simple minded thing I've ever heard him say.
00:15:36
Speaker
Common is not his native tongue. I know, I know. Okay, so you want to find somebody that sells wine to impersonate them. I will need to impersonate them. And I'm going to be selling wine on the parade route. I will offer wine to the king. And if it works, it works. If not, the worst thing that will happen is, you know, they say no. Or his personal wine taster.
00:15:57
Speaker
Well, then that person will die and that will also cause distraction. And then we do the thing that we're going to do at that point anyway. So it's not really anything lost. I mean, that person is dead, but you know, there's a one thing. There is, I want it categorically one thing lost. That's not lost to us. He is no longer an up part of opposition to our mission. So what, what you're trying to say is one thing gained for you. That's the way out of the way.
00:16:28
Speaker
I don't really gain anything when someone is dead. I hope. I just no longer have to deal with them. Except a general sense of accomplishment. Oh, but it would not be the person I am trying to kill in this case, so I've not accomplished that. I hope, sincerely hope. On the waste of very potent poison. That I don't have to out myself as a cooking spirit or in this. Because then I will have to leave with you guys. I think you'll probably have to leave town. More than likely.
00:16:57
Speaker
Okay, you do not look stealthy or deceptive. Did you not see me? Yes, I did. That is what I am basing this opinion on. I mean, you're right about the stealthy. I'm not much of a sneaky guy. That is correct. Yeah, I know, I know. I was affirming that you are correct in your assessment of yourself. I don't need you to do that.
00:17:30
Speaker
Okay. You need someone who sells wine. I know where there's a wine merchant. I would know a wine merchant who sells the classy stuff. And this is a person you like?
00:17:47
Speaker
Can't we just tie him up and put him in a back room somewhere and knock him out? I'm trying to decide what I need to do based on the answer to this question. I mean, I'm going to shoot real straight. If you get away with it, either you have to kill him, or you don't kill him, and he's the guy that killed the king. I'd rather not think about that. On the other hand, when the king dies, he will be revealed as imposter, therefore he is hero.
00:18:16
Speaker
Oh, in that case, I like him very much. I don't care if I've never met him. I might mispronounce his name based on the door, but I'm telling you, I like him very much.
Murder and Cover-up
00:18:27
Speaker
You have a relationship with him by which you could convince him to stay out of sight for a while. Eh, we're probably gonna have time out. Knock him out. I do have a spell that I can lock the door and he can't leave.
00:18:45
Speaker
And we could do this in his wine cellar. The wine cellar could be locked up in his wine cellar. I'm so proud of you. Why? You understood the concept? You demonstrated it back to me? I'm not child. No, I teach... No. Yes, you're right. You can... Thorne does after-school tutoring on the side, and so it's just his default state.
00:19:15
Speaker
All right, take us to this wine selling person. Okay, we're on the map. Should we have this wine selling person? This wine selling person? Roll it. What? Roll it. Yeah, here's the thing. To get the good stuff, we're gonna go out of town. This is not going to work now. Looking at the map, I think if I were a wine seller, I would be below a building. And the merchant of that building would be located
00:19:44
Speaker
I'm gonna say district five, which is the like south of the central island of roet to the left. Sounds good. So yeah, that tracks. That's what I was gonna say. There we go. All right, we're heading there. Okay, now I don't know this guy. Just to make things clear. Yes, I don't know this guy. And he doesn't know me, but I do put whatever insignia whatever badge I have back on. You see
00:20:17
Speaker
a sign on a gate in front of a manor that reads a name. I appreciate your clarity in that description. I do. Castellanter. Castellanter, that's definitely easier. Welcome to Castlevania wines.
00:20:45
Speaker
So yeah, you see a sign that says Casselanter Winery. Casselanter fine wines. Casselanter for your decanter. That was wonderful. We approach and enter the shop.
00:21:04
Speaker
Um, hey, as on the way, I say, so like, how long of a, I keep wanting to go. So long. So how long of a, of a, but look, do you need to get it? This fella, do you need like a 360? How, um, but if I can, um, it will be easier if I steal his clothes.
00:21:22
Speaker
that is uniform or something. So at one point you said, can I convince him not to leave the house? And now we're stealing his clothes, so we were always going to tie him up, right? Well, if you could convince him not to leave his house, I thought you might convince him to lend me some clothes. We don't do that up here. No one ever lends clothing? Not off their back. Well, it didn't have to be off their back. It just had to be clothing that he might wear. I guess we were going to his manager. Can I help you at all?
00:21:52
Speaker
No, seriously, we're not gonna kill him. Yes, we need you to do something. I hope it sells you wine. We do need some wine. Yeah, actually we do. Excellent. We do need help you with that. Some wine. Are you the proprietor of this place?
Preparing for the Parade
00:22:10
Speaker
Place. I must fill up. Not the queue. The queue was gonna be able to do that. The queue was gonna be able to... But Philip failed him.
00:22:21
Speaker
Uh, yes, my name is Victoro Castellanter. How may I help you? How many other people work here with you? Just me and my wife. My kids live upstairs. Well, this person needs to ask you to do something. I really hope it's sell you wine. That's the part we will get to. So I have whatever insignia I have. Obviously it doesn't say Citadel on it, probably. There probably is Citadel, a Citadel badge.
00:22:51
Speaker
I guess because they're not all just the dark lanterns that are secretive. Yeah. So yeah, I probably have a Citadel badge on. But you have a Citadel badge belonging to another branch of the Citadel that is your cover for being a dark lantern. Sure. Right. Because I'm a dark lantern. Because you all thought the crass was a king sword. Right. That's right. All right. So I say, don't I say Mr. Castle enter. Yes, agent.
00:23:18
Speaker
Oh, thank you for noticing. I suppose you know there's a quite a large event happening today. Yes, we actually donated the sum of money to the royal family, the courtyard out in front of our establishment is where the trial is going to be held on the way to the execution space.
00:23:40
Speaker
that is remarkably convenient so we'll have all
Parade and Trial Commencement
00:23:54
Speaker
kinds of dignitaries and if you want to stay around for a while and watch the royal family will be passing through and then they will continue on their way up to the place of execution if
00:24:09
Speaker
She's found guilty. I assume you've already set aside a bottle. Everyone's sure I can't kill this guy. Everyone's still fixed on that after what he just said with such a jovial tone. I'm sure you've already set aside a bottle that you plan on serving the king, if he asks. Oh, absolutely. And we have Kask set aside to serve the patrons that are. And you would, of course, be expected to serve the king personally. Of course. Excellent. Right.
00:24:39
Speaker
and then my wife will be out there tending to everyone else. But I will be speaking with the royal family. My colleague here, clearly, not an agent. We bring him in, consultation. He is a poisons and potions expert. We are going to need to take a look at that bottle that you plan on. Essentially, we need to approve the bottle you plan on serving the king. You understand.
00:25:09
Speaker
Oh, of course, I understand that. Would you not want to do that a bit closer to actually serving? I mean, if you come now and... Oh, no, we'll be taking it with us and then returning it to you. Very well. Yes, I have my finest year and vineyard here that I was planning on serving the king, as you can see, and he holds that label out to you to be impressed. And I say...
00:25:37
Speaker
Oh, yes, that's a very good vintage. Excellent choice. He likes it. This moment just, real quick, reminds me of a night that Philip and I went to a really fancy restaurant in Dallas, and I ordered wine, and the guy walked up and held the bottle like that next to me, and I just looked at it, dumbfounded as what I was supposed to do in that moment. He just looked just like, oh. Yep. That's the one. There is a wine. That's what I ordered. That man, Hellas, is such a contempt.
00:26:10
Speaker
Anyway. And you look at me and go, yes, why? Poor now, please. Okay. Oh, man. Well, we won't be long. And I will need that now. Very well. Please return it. Of course.
00:26:37
Speaker
And if you can, do your best to keep it out of direct sunlight. That will harm. But there's no problem. I say, I believe I have a method for that. And I put it in my bag. Oh, that's fine. I didn't not believe that you had a method for it. That's why I asked you to do it. If I didn't think you had a method, I wouldn't have asked you to do something. It's a hard job. We take the jokes where we can. I hope you understand. We will return shortly.
00:27:05
Speaker
This is going to be a strange request. This is going to be a high sensitivity, high security area. Of course. I'm going to embed our expert here with you.
00:27:27
Speaker
He'll need some sort of uniform, if you have anything, or do you just wear, I mean, you're dressed professionally. Is he wearing any kind of, is he wearing something that identifies him as an employee, as someone who works here, or is he just wearing? No, I mean, the Castleantern, Castleanters, not lanterns, Castleanters are known for their wine, so it's just, it's a husband and wife shop, so. Okay.
00:27:55
Speaker
It is naturally important that this wine, once we have inspected it, this wine is only for the king's service. Yes, others will not be drinking this bottle. Well, I will only be pouring it for the king, but of course if he wants to
00:28:17
Speaker
share with his wife or something like that. That is his wife's death. That was a very poor taste. How dare you, sir. Or anybody else with him. I'm sorry.
00:28:34
Speaker
Don't a lot of money. Don't know a lot about him. Here's the part that's kind of strange. Perhaps we will go and inspect the wine. And then if we need to have this conversation with him, it might not be necessary once we have inspected the wine. No, there is a bit more. Okay. Okay, fine. No, here's the thing.
00:29:02
Speaker
We need you to drastically limit the number of people coming in out of this building today. Oh, that is very true. It is extremely sensitive security matter. Very much so. Counterpoint. Yes, please. Give me your counterpoint, I say, as I can adjust my badge. The reason that we made the generous donation to the royal family to have the trial performed directly outside our establishment.
00:29:32
Speaker
And to serve our wine for free to the crowd there is to draw in their business once the trial is moved on down the street. Oh, of course. Duh. Listen, of course. We don't want there to be any variables between this moment and when the king arrives.
00:29:50
Speaker
Before only before we are concerned once things move on even once once the courtyard is full if you would like to open your doors and in very poor taste usher people in to get drunk during the You can do that because at that point the king is safe but but between this moment and When we come back We really need to just shut her down
00:30:17
Speaker
I think you know that you will make up in sales enough today, during and after the trial, that you can afford to close for a couple of hours to ensure the safety of the King. And that is the sort of behavior that we will remember. And would reflect well in our report to the King on this matter? Certainly. Well, to our superiors, of course we do not speak directly to them.
00:30:48
Speaker
Um, fine. I, I will not sell any wine between now and when the trial occurs. I really do appreciate it. Thank you. All right. We step out to inspect the wine. Okay.
00:31:09
Speaker
I'm not sure it is necessary for me to to to impersonate this person why don't I just poison this bottle of wine and then yeah I just wanted to cover bases it was more important to me that we get him to shut it down yes no this was a good idea I do have qualms about poisoning the whole bottle my only hope is that the
00:31:33
Speaker
Well, I guess I would probably know reasonably well being in ROAT and being of the business of the government. Surely etiquette demands the king have the first taste. Is the new Borenel acting enough like the old Borenel as far as things like personality? And is Borenel the kind of guy that would demand the first drink? Or would he be like, oh, please serve everybody else? Because our Borenel is a big St. Bernard.
00:32:01
Speaker
But that might not be how he is as keen, you know? No, I mean, it that there is still the pomp and circumstance of it all that while Borenel finds tiresome still adheres to. He would have to pronounce the wine satisfactory.
00:32:20
Speaker
Great in your message to three you might tell him if he can't prevent anyone else from drinking the wine. That would be smart I Think I will um if you are concerned about that sort of thing. It might be that the people on the platform we want all dead Right, you know interesting question actually How Quick acting is this poison my understanding it is very quick How potent is this poison
00:32:49
Speaker
of very potent. If I dropped this in the river, my understanding is that I would kill everyone in the city. That is what I meant when I said I could kill everyone if you wished. And I again take my hammer and I lean on it. And not only that, it's a river. So probably any cities that are downriver would also die. Well, that is a good point. Can I? It is, I believe we established something of the matter of 14,000 giant corpses in potency.
00:33:19
Speaker
Well, I've never poisoned a giant. I have. But I imagine it takes a bit. Yes. And that that much poison would kill well more than a couple of people. Which is why it would be ill-advised for others to drink the wine. If he drops the bottle and he like spills into the water table? Oh no, it's right here. I hold it up in my hand. See, nothing is happening to me. You can hold it if you want.
00:33:50
Speaker
OK, I don't. I don't want to hold it. Put it away. I don't think that would be a problem if it's I don't think it will kill everyone if it spills on the street. OK. Spills in the river. That would be bad. We're not near the river. Well, we're near the river, but we're not going to drop the bottle of wine and it leaps. Courtyard is. Yeah. Yeah. Every place is near the river. Every place is spitting distance from the river. We're quite close to the river.
00:34:21
Speaker
Okay. Is the, have you, have you done this? No, this will be the first person we have killed with it. There's quite a lot more, but I have only a limited supply. Okay. Have you done anything with it to know if it's going to change the appearance of this wine?
00:34:44
Speaker
We have dropped it. We, yes, we did. I poisoned the water supply and it didn't. It doesn't lose the master brain or whatever. Yeah. Other brain brain. Yeah. And it didn't. Okay. So it won't, it will not. Okay. Um, well, I guess it's odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquids is among the deadliest poisons known to anyone. Well, I suppose you should make that
00:35:14
Speaker
Murder bottle. Excellent. And the trick here does. Okay. Okay. You drop the beat in there and it just. A little clap, a little puff for the skull. Yeah. Exactly. The skull cloud. You hear a demonic laugh. The scrolling crossbones flies off on the wind. No, you just hear it. Yes. Quickly put the court back in.
00:35:40
Speaker
Okay, we've we futz around for like 20 minutes. So it looks like we actually did something. Yep. I assume maybe we are here, you know, does all the stuff necessary to cast detect magic and like makes it look like a real good magical inspection and that kind of thing. And I
00:35:59
Speaker
use my mage hand to give the big thumbs up to Mr. Castellanter who is absolutely definitely watching probably. No, we would have gone around the corner. We did not do it in his sight. Watch this. Now remind me, we poisoned the bottom. Oh, you agents with your jokes. No, but so we come back in.
00:36:27
Speaker
And I say now we need to, this needs to be tamper evident. Um, do you have a wax that we can seal it? Uh, do you have a, I hand it back to him.
00:36:42
Speaker
It has a candle and gets the wax hot and dripping and stamps it and then wraps it around the corked bottle. And then I take just a piece of wire and I etch into the seal while it's still kind of soft.
00:36:59
Speaker
Two letters. Agents. Thorin. Not my initials, but some initials. You press your citadel ring into the wax or something like that. Ooh, I like that. If I have one of those, that's what I do. You do have one of those. Because if some other schmo comes by later, like, we're here to check the wine, he'd be like, oh, wait. And then you can say, an agent stone knuckle? Oh, crap.
00:37:30
Speaker
He brought a friend who he never introduced by name. It seemed legit. I assume that maybe as we're walking out, Krastin and Drakir and I can all just kind of be like looking. If there's like a dais, it's already been built. Yeah. Yeah. There are people outside making preparations for the arrival of the train. So Drakir.
00:38:00
Speaker
goes over and begins making casual conversation with one of the workers, not like with any security person, just with one of the workers. I want to have a good seat. Where is the traitor going to be? This dwarf woman stops and looks up at you and is like,
00:38:22
Speaker
Oh, um, well, the, the caravan's going to come down that, uh, that their bridge, you see, and then they're going to stop into courtyard right here. Um, so I imagine the, the actual carriage with the platform holding the prisoner is going to be right about there. So that set of benches that's getting set up right over there, um, in front of the, uh, castle enter place, that's probably going to be the best spot, but
00:38:51
Speaker
We imagine that's going to be reserved for the Royal Family. Of course. So the next one over, not quite as good a seat, but that's probably the best you're going to be able to do there. Excellent. You have been very helpful. I tried to be. Um.
00:39:09
Speaker
Uh, and I would like to plot out the fastest route to the river from here. Um, I mean, like a building. Okay. Perfect. That's, that's when you write into row at the city sign, that's the slogan. It's always a straight line to the river guys. I think we've done some real good ever on PR marketing today. We really have.
00:39:35
Speaker
Oh, except for all the murder and deceit. That part, it's not awesome. Okay. So you all still probably have, well, Thorin, you know, you have about an hour and a half left before the procession is due to begin.
00:39:57
Speaker
Drakir wants to linger in this area to prevent any other wine inspectors from coming to the Castleanter estate. Okay. I could have locked them in. I bet that would tip the hand. We've managed to separate ourselves from this particular act. Right. Yes, especially when it goes horribly wrong.
00:40:28
Speaker
Give me a perception check. 20. You spot a very fancily dressed gentleman with a rolled up scroll underneath his arm, marching towards the bridge, the very official look about him, royal signet on his chest.
00:40:53
Speaker
as he begins to walk up to the castle lantern place. None of you would recognize him, but the listeners will recognize this man as the guy that wet himself on the road back to Stormreach, holding a proclamation from the king. Thorin doesn't know why, but he hates this guy. Did I notice him? Can I roll? I haven't left you either. Yeah, you can roll.
00:41:21
Speaker
I might not see him. That's a that's a six. Yeah, I rolled worse than that. So on the other side of the building. Yeah, you all are kind of looking around the set up going on. I'm looking for a way to get out of da. I'm staring directly into the sun. Things right there. Don't ever think about it. Here is going to go ahead and
00:41:50
Speaker
turn on his Shadow Shift ability from his Umbral Pact. Because this will help with this situation. And so he is going to disguise himself as Mr. Castellanter. And head this guy off.
00:42:09
Speaker
a ways away from the building and and say oh oh good you're here yes i'm um you were expecting me i didn't send word well i mean we're going to be serving wine to the king why of course they would send someone very well shall we step inside of course of course um can you tell me exactly what you need of me i need to inspect your wine supply ah excellent
00:42:39
Speaker
Well, we are keeping the wine set aside in the cellar, if you would come around here with me. Yes, very well. Nuclear leads him around the corner.
00:42:55
Speaker
Okay, so yes, you do find a set of cellar doors on the external, or the outside of the house, almost on the extern of the house. The extern side. Anyone around? Why wasn't this question expected? On the way around, I placed my slayer's eye on him.
00:43:25
Speaker
Are they around to the side of the house that I'm on now? No, you're in the courtyard. They walked around the back. I said I was on the other side of the house. Jokingly, but I did say it. Staring into the sun. Staring into the sun. It's a thing I like to do. I hope that thing's just a big ball of gas up there. Don't be ridiculous. No, no, it is clear back there. There's no one around at all. Oh, give me a perception check. Don't know what that is.
00:43:55
Speaker
Natural 20. So what he meant to say was, your pupils dilate to 3.5 centimeters, and your elf eyes see that nobody could possibly see you in this moment. Here's what I would like to declare. No one's going to miss him.
00:44:21
Speaker
I'm sorry. By the way, what I mean by that is no one's going to notice that he doesn't come back. No, we all heard what you said, Philip. I'm gonna need some fan fiction written about this poor guy's life. Philip is really a deeply nice person.
00:44:38
Speaker
But the joy. Dracure is evil. The joy that Philip took with looking at Erik and saying, no one's going to miss him. I could power this house for a year on the energy that came out of that happiness. Very well. This man lives all alone with nobody to love. All of his family is already dead. A poem which Dracure kills him.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah, he's not expecting it. So how do you want to do this? How gruesome? Not gruesomely. That would make a mess. Okay. So, no, Drakir is just, it's right around here. And then as he turns to look towards the cellar, Drakir just, you know, assassins creeds him with one of the shadow blades. Okay, his body goes tense as his eyes turn wide and he turns and looks at you and then just
00:45:36
Speaker
drops to his knees and drops face ground or face face face ground face first in the dirt and I find a a dumpster
00:45:50
Speaker
because we're behind a business, so there must be a dumpster. I find a dumpster and I hide his corpse, but I do take his official documents and examine them. Okay, yeah, it's basically just an inspection list of this kind of procedure. Typically, they inspect all of the wine, all of the house to make sure that no other bottles of wine are being hid, that kind of thing, and then he signs off and gives a stamp of approval and returns it to the royal family. Okay, and no one in the royal family is going to notice that he did not do that.
00:46:21
Speaker
Okay. That's true. I'm too busy with other things. I am going to, um, or I, I'm spending this time while here's having murder time. I'm, I am looking, I'm plotting egress because I have a real strong suspicion that I'm going to have to try to run away from here. Yeah. That's what Crass has been looking for as unseen as possible to get away. Okay. Now,
00:46:51
Speaker
The hope, of course, is that the first thing that happens is the fake king goes down and there's so much hoopla that he can grab Bala, go invisible, and I can just stand there going, whoa, and then meet up with you guys outside the city because at this point, I mean, if that happens and it's a fake king, Thor is outie 5G's. He does not want to be a part of this government anymore.
00:47:20
Speaker
So. OK. Yeah, I don't think anybody said Audi 5G since 2002. But for some reason, I've never heard anyone say that. Yeah, how do you 5000? No. It's a bad hip hop thing. Like it's a not good rapper. Say that said that. Cool.
00:47:45
Speaker
Okay, so yeah, you all are in the courtyard. That gentleman is disposed of properly. In terms of methods of escape for the non-water breathers in the group, you two give me either perception or investigation.
00:48:11
Speaker
13, I mean, it's not terrible, but 10. I'll give you advantage because you live here. Oh, great. And you're walking the streets a lot. Roll a different dice with you. That's good. 13. Like I said. Okay. And it wasn't the one. So you all kind of just figure there's a gate to the Southwest by West, like West by Southwest.
00:48:39
Speaker
Um, out of the city, that's probably the quickest way that you're going to be able to get out outside of swimming. So you just kind of hope that maybe in the commotion, the guards will be drawn from the gate. Um, yeah, actually, I see a point. I know we're in section five, but where, Oh, okay. So, uh, Thorin, you live here. So what do you think's the best bet? I'm thinking this gate over here. Uh, the West Southwest gate.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah, I like it too. I think, uh, I think honestly are probably our best bet is if we have to, if we get to the point where we have to run for it, we try to jam straight south and follow the fence line, follow the, the, the wall. It's not a fence. I'm sure it's a wall and it's a
00:49:29
Speaker
follow the wall line around the backs of these buildings to the gate. And if we, if there's someone guarding the gate, it's a very good chance that I'm going to have to feed my, my feet, feet. I don't have a blade feed my hammer. So, so one of us has a sending stone, right? One of me or Crass. One of you too. Sure. Okay.
00:49:53
Speaker
Um, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt what you were doing? Are you, are you done? No, I was just feeling dumb. Okay. I just didn't know if you finished what you were doing. I said, get to the gate and if we have to find somebody there, we can. Okay. Flasher badge. Um, to cure has two things he would like to do. Uh, one, he would like to go over to the water's edge and, um, cast beast sense. Okay. And see if he can find a large aquatic animal in the near vicinity. It's a big river.
00:50:25
Speaker
It just keeps rolling. Alone. I'm sorry. That's the wrong thing. That's not what beast sense is. I'm doing the wrong thing here. What is beast sense? Beast sense is where I can look through an animal. That's the wrong thing. Yeah, it's not too sense, a beast? No. That's... Doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop. That's beast find. It's puppyfinder.com.
00:50:56
Speaker
Well, I would like to make whatever role is necessary then to do that nature nature. That is not terrible. That is 15.
00:51:24
Speaker
Okay. Um, you managed to sense, um, some quippers in the water. Oh, that's, those are pretty small. Um, like something dolphin sized or better.
00:51:48
Speaker
There's some laser sharks. I would totally take laser sharks. There's a hunter shark. It's a large beast. I would like to cast animal friendship upon the hunter shark. I needed to make a wisdom saving throw. I love when you make animals roll for wisdom. That's a natural 20. What? I hate it when you make animals roll for wisdom.
00:52:15
Speaker
He is the oldest and wisest of the sharks. I want to try again. I want to wait six seconds and try again. He's not immune to it if he succeeds. Well, that's just dumb. What does he want to do with his 20? Just to swim away, by the way. No, that's too gross for a punch. Material component is a morsel of food.
00:52:43
Speaker
Oh no. I was just thinking of really good disposal. Yeah. But that's too much. We're not doing that. Okay, a two is what he is. Excellent. He is now my friend. How many spells did that take? Two? First level spells. You literally wore him down until he was your friend. Fine, what do you want? Just been tossing in bits of jerky until he's finally decided he's my friend.
00:53:10
Speaker
Um, I would like him to wait right here. And then when I arrive, I would like him to drag me and my companion holding his fins at the top, at top speed towards Sion sound. Okay. Man, I wish we had fan artists. Except for I don't want him being dragged underneath. I want Drake here in a Hawaiian shirt, riding a shark, cresting the water. Um.
00:53:38
Speaker
Okay. I would go see Aquaman if he acted like Drakir. You're not going to see Aquaman? What? No. I'm going to see Aquaman. How many times are you going to let DC do this to you? The reviews have actually been good on this one. The reviews are never good. What are you talking about? Wonder Woman gave me enough hope that I'll go to see another one. Wonder Woman was excellent by DC standards. It was mediocre by Marvel standards.
00:54:02
Speaker
The third act was not great. The third act was terrible. The third act was bad. The villain was worthless. Also, but really, I mean, I watched so many bad movies. What's another one? And I don't pay full price for them. I wait until they're meanwhile. So we so here has made friends with an animal. This is what happened is here. The shark was was reluctant because it's a shark. But then it realized that it understood here.
00:54:30
Speaker
On a very primal level. People assume shark only violent too. Drakir and the shark understand each other. Assume? I meant that it's true and therefore they understand one another. Because I assume a hunter shark is like a tiger shark and isn't that one of those that will attack things maliciously? Yeah. Anyway. That is, I think, what Drakir would like to accomplish. He would then
00:55:02
Speaker
Uh, I think I would then like to see what I know that that's a bad idea. I won't do that. Okay. I think I pushed my push trickier's luck on, on prep. Preparational thing is about as far as it goes. Any other points of preparation that we would like to do? Yeah. I need to get to the starting point of the parade. Have as much time to send messages. What if we could buy potions of invisibility? I mean, Nope.
00:55:34
Speaker
I mean, yeah, that'd be really, really helpful, but I don't have that kind of money. You remember what we make?
00:55:47
Speaker
I can't just go buying potions. I don't know how much money Krasz has. I could afford an invisibility potion. I've been living off the grid as one at Puget is. I don't think that I can lean on my guy much harder. I think Booyah gave him a large donation for the cause. Also, potions of invisibility are very rare. Yes, I know.
00:56:14
Speaker
It was just a thought. Dex gave Crass his knife. It allows me to cast invisibility three times. It doesn't last that long though. It's short, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's only- I think it's a minute because it's supposed to be for battle purposes.
00:56:32
Speaker
Well, I was seeing if any of these were useful in that manner, but all right spells. Well, no, I was checking. Okay. Um, so no other points of preparation. I'm ready. Okay. So you're heading back to the castle and I'm going to let them know. Um, I'll be going to the origin point to start talking with the people that you're talking with, um, as quickly as possible. So who are these people that need talking with?
00:57:00
Speaker
I want to maximize my message sending time with three and Bala. I see. Yes. Very good. Because they're starting right here. Like it's not a long walk from there to here. If you have changed your mind and decided to betray us who will kill you and everyone you love. Well, joke's on you. I don't love anybody. But it'll be a very simple task. I don't even love myself to try. I'm back in that one. I didn't say if you love yourself, I said I would just kill him.
00:57:27
Speaker
Listen. Drake here. If you don't think I will go. I have full faith that you'll look in the dumpster behind the wine cellar. Drake here. What did you do? I killed someone. The actual wine inspector came. Oh, you know, I want to be mad, but you recall that that guy's a real jerk for some reason. Yeah. Well, I'll be real honest. I don't, I'm not going to miss that guy.
00:57:58
Speaker
All right. No one's going to miss that. Were you in the room? You weren't on the road. You weren't there yet with us. No. Crass. No. No. No. Yeah. OK. And you weren't. Jax, a drinker was not. So no one's going to be able to tell Dex. Nope. Well, life.
00:58:19
Speaker
Shucks. Okay, so you head back to the starting point for the procession. I assure Drake here that I'm not betraying him. You all, fine. I tell Drake here. I don't know about it. I sure don't have anything. A crowd has started to gather. People know. They sure did. People know that this is where the trial is going to be taking place. So people have started to gather and take their seats on the bench. Red ropes are put up around the set of benches that will be closest to Commander Bala.
00:58:47
Speaker
I put myself in a normal standing place near that bench so that I will be close to Commander Balla. And also so that I can see the door to the winery, lest they get greedy and start selling to people. You can slap them down. Yes, that's what your cure would do.
00:59:08
Speaker
So as the crowd starts to gather, you do see the doors open, but a woman comes out with a tray of goblets, and Victorio comes out and sets the cask up. This is not the one that we messed with. No, you messed with a bottle. Just make sure.
00:59:28
Speaker
Um, and they start filling up, people start dying too early. It blows everything. Would you stop them? Well, people start dying too early. It blows everything. So yes, I think you're still things. We could probably just take them. I do here, do here approves of a job done with finesse. What a great way to put that. So they start handing out goblets of wine to the people that have started gathering. They approach you all and trickier, take some wine. Oh yeah.
00:59:55
Speaker
Thank you. Can I get one for the road? I'm just kidding, I'm on duty. I'm already gone, I'm joking. Jesus, Eric, live a little. Not 11 o'clock at night, I don't. So, Thorin, that's your name. You're back, the procession started gathering, you see Commander Bala in shackles, led and walked up, led up onto this platform that's on a carriage,
01:00:24
Speaker
to be pulled by some horses. The procession starts gathering more guards and agents come out to guard everything. And you all from your position and you at your position hear a loud horn begin to blow signaling the beginning of the procession. End of episode.
01:00:44
Speaker
Thank you all so much for listening. If you like what we do and would like to join the conversation, head over to the Facebook group, the Geek Pantheon. We're also on Twitter and Instagram at the Geek Pantheon. Consider joining our Patreon community. We have a lot of fun over on our Discord. You can head on over to patreon.com slash the Geek Pantheon. To be a part of that, thank you to Kevin McLeod for the use of all of his music. You can find it over in competent.com. Once again, I'm your Dungeon Master Eric. I'm Philip. I'm Randy. I'm Jeff. We will see you.
01:01:22
Speaker
next time.