Transcript
Speaker: Looking for another chance to fly
Speaker: Sing with you can't pass go your dream
Speaker: What's going on guys? Heavy Monday. Hopefully you guys had a good weekend and your week is starting off on a positive note. Uh, as we all know, sometimes Mondays have a tendency to get the best of us. Um, so hopefully you guys are having a week. Um, anywho, where was I? I'm good. What's up?
Speaker: Can I have a snack? Yes. Try that again. I'm not doing anything. Well, am I a podcast host? I'm a dad, but I'm a dad first and foremost. So, you know, we'll deal with a little, a little minor hiccups or whatever. It's all good. But as I was saying, welcome to, uh, now I don't know if this is going to stick or not. I'm kind of playing around with names because, uh,
Speaker: You know, we've kind of been talking a little bit on the show and off the show and rebranding Mondays. No longer is Monday's going to be nonsensical nonsense. Um, kind of played around. I like the weekly bro check. I, you know, but I, I kind of really like this one too, but we'll see how it kind of sticks, but man up Monday. Typically. Yes. When you tell somebody to man up, it's kind of got a, a negative
Speaker: meaning, but I want to take that make that negativity away from it because, you know, ladies and gentlemen, the definition of man up is to be courageous, be brave, you know, step up and do something that others won't do. So I think it's high time. We take that negativity, the negative context away from man up. And so let's rebrand it and refocus it. So, uh,
Speaker: Um, you know, that's kind of where we're going. I don't know if it's going to stick. We're going to play around and still find the right one, but Mondays will no longer be a nonsensical nonsense show. So Mondays will be the men's mental health show, whatever the name title, whatever we, we, we, I decide on set all upon Wednesdays and Saturdays will be nonsensical nonsense. Fridays will be Glick's house of music. Tuesdays will be.
Speaker: Jeff's new show, Pennies and Dimes makes 11 cents. I don't know, something like that, business talk with non -business. I honestly don't know. I can't remember the name of it, but he'll be doing his show on Tuesday. However, everything will be under the nonsensical nonsense brand. With that being said, you can find all the shows on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok,
Speaker: You can join us live Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Tuesdays. We've almost taken over every day at the end of the week. We're working on it. There'll be some variation of podcasts on this network. As I said, Wednesdays and Saturdays are nonsense school nonsense. Mondays will be men's mental health show. Fridays will be my music show. Tuesdays will be Jeff's business show and then coming from there.
Speaker: but it's all going to be under those labels on, on YouTube, which Facebook live, you guys will be able to get in the chatters box for all those shows. And you'll also be able to listen to all those shows anywhere, any place you listen to podcasts at all at nonsense school nonsense, or you can simply go, cause I threw a lot at you. There's a lot going on there. That's not it, but we can get to that later. There it is.
Speaker: Bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense all the links for all the social media and everything like that will all be there Including links to the sponsors like what IV and W and whatnot. Don't forget if you guys check out our sponsors Here's our promo code. Oh words our heart get those discounts And all that she has
Speaker: Um, but any, like I said, as far as Mondays, I don't know if I'll be by myself. I don't know if I'll have co -host. Um, this will probably be a short one tonight. Uh, so this, uh, a little dude wants to watch something. So I'm going to try to get out of here relatively quick, relatively fast. But however, like I said, Mondays aren't going to be the focus of men's mental health.
Speaker: talking about things, uh, discussing this, that, and the other thing, whatever the case may be. I do like the title of man up Monday. And I do like the idea of taking back the negativity and taking the negativity away from man up because how I remember growing up. Hey, you fall down and you, and you bust your knee open or you scrape your knee or whatever, man up, must learn it. You'll be fine. Stop being a pussy. Well, you know, or, or as we get older and you know, if you,
Speaker: Going through some shit and you're feeling a little bit depressed. Man up. Stop being weak. Blah blah blah. We're going to take all that away. As I said, the definition of manning up is to be brave, to be courageous, to do the things that other people won't do and step up to be there when you're needed or when you're called upon. It was not meant to be a negative thing in any way, shape or form. So kind of like that idea.
Speaker: Well, I'll work around things that I'll play around with things and you guys are more than welcome to add your two cents as well however I'm just gonna dive right into it That's another reason this another reason why this is probably gonna be a short short show tonight I Can't
Speaker: Do a men's mental health show and not be 100 % honest. And the last couple of months, I've been dealing with a lot of shit, got a lot of stress, got a lot of stuff on my plate, a lot of stuff I'm thinking about, a lot of things I'm worried about with job, finances, this, that, and the other thing. And it has really been taking a toll on me and it's really been wearing me down.
Speaker: So last couple of months, last month, whatever the case may be, I've been struggling a lot. I've been going in and out of being depressed or whatever. I have found myself more irritable for no fucking reason, frustrated with whether it be the kids or Nikki or the dog or just the wind blowing the wrong way.
Speaker: And it all kind of came to a head this weekend. And. Had to step back and I had to look and realize that unfortunately. The kids. And Nikki were starting to catch the brunt of that. Nothing nothing too crazy like I wasn't. I hadn't reached that point of being. Terrible yet, but.
Speaker: I was getting close. And in a drunken stupor, I was talking to myself and the... Whoa, that was weird. At like three o 'clock in the morning. I said some dumb shit. Didn't think he ever heard it. And it upset her.
Speaker: So first and foremost, I have to apologize to her because I wasn't catching myself fast enough. And I wasn't realizing what was going on. And here I am preaching about men's mental health and preaching about men being better and doing better and taking care of themselves. And I found, and then I was starting to slip into a dark spot myself. So I have an apology.
Speaker: Also my kids in apology because like I said I have been Not necessarily frustrated with them or anything and I'm trying not to let them see it and I'm not taking it out on them or anything But I know that I was a little bit more irritable And little things would frustrate me So I had to take a timeout on Saturday Yeah, and to be honest with him
Speaker: I think that really kind of was the breaking point for me. And this is where I realized that I knew that I was starting to be in a bad place was that that Friday night I went out to the kitchen and I was making something to eat and the kitchen was kind of messy. And I got fresh and my kids weren't even here. And I got frustrated with the fact that I had asked them to do some things before they left to go back to their moms and it wasn't done.
Speaker: I was just frustrated with the way the kitchen looks and It was kind of that and as trivial as it sounds I understand but that was kind of the breaking point So Saturday, you know, I got up Nikki and I kind of had a discussion a little bit of an argument I Wasn't mindful of where my head was
Speaker: And I felt like a huge piece of shit. And like I said, just, just, just a lot of stuff on my mind right now. And that's no excuse. It's just, it's starting to weigh on me because again, instead of actually taking the opportunity to talk about it and, and, and get it out. I did what I always do because I'm a fucking idiot and I just bottled it up.
Speaker: So Saturday after she came back to lay down and take a nap, I wanted to do some thinking and I cleaned the house, clean the kitchen. I mean, like I was cleaning the microwave, cleaning, you know, like rearranging shit. I had to get some natural sunlight in cause I hate a dark house. That does not help matters. None. When I start feeling some sort of way and
Speaker: Did some thinking and I'm feeling better, but I know I'm still struggling and I can't in good conscience come in here and talk about men's mental health and pretend like everything's all hunky dory and everything's fine in my world when it's not right now. I've got, like I said, I'm found out some things with my job.
Speaker: Don't know where I'm gonna be in the net here in a month God's got me stresses about finances and money and stuff like that. I don't know what's gonna happen in the next month And I hate it. I don't like having that security But I'm kind of stuck in limbo
Speaker: not really at a point where I should look for another job because I don't know what's going on, but at the same point at the same time, like, I feel like I should look for a job just in case, but I don't want to burn a bridge. And then, you know, I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's very complicated. So, you know, and that's a big issue.
Speaker: especially for me, you know when it when it comes to the kids and all that stuff and worrying about finances and And everything like that So I'm freaking out about that like I'm literally freaking out. I'm not sleeping. I haven't been sleeping for the last I Don't know about a month or so not sleeping very well when I do sleep I kind of toss and turn and The nightmares have kind of started to stumble back and sneak back in so, you know, I'm
Speaker: I was starting to struggle a lot. And like I said, Friday, it kind of was a kick in the dick. Um, so I need to be better about talking. I need to be better about opening up and sharing to Nikki.
Speaker: So this stuff doesn't ball up and and reach ahead and also I have this fucking show I have this goddamn format Even if nobody's listening nobody wants to hear it at least I can come and fucking say it So yeah So, you know, like I said, I had to come clean. You know, I am I'm stressing out. I'm freaking out. I'm Worried sick about shit you know and all that compiling in is
Speaker: Feel that depression starting to come back in and that that dark that darkness starting to come back in and creep into the back of my mind and sometimes it Does a good number of grabbing a hold of me and I can't always shake it as good as you know as fast as I would like to Well, like I said Saturday I thought about a lot of
Speaker: cleaned up the house, got some sunlight, got some fresh air in the house, some fresh sunlight, some natural sunlight, got the house cleaned up. And by Saturday, I was tired Saturday because I hadn't slept Friday. But by Saturday, I was feeling a little bit better. And by yesterday, I was feeling a lot better, but I've still got these worries and I've still got these doubts.
Speaker: I still got these concerns, especially about one job wise financial, you know, shit like that, because I got a lot on the line where this job, you know, having this job or not having this job, I could lose a lot. And, and I, you know, I've worked too hard to, to, to get where I am, so to say. So I don't want, so I'm scared to death of losing and that's not many things scare me. So.
Speaker: What's going on Sean you're not wrong it could be jig done that would be a lot worse but So this is this is again, this is me manning up this is me manning up and saying if I'm gonna be the voice here if I'm gonna be the voice for whoever listens to this show or men's mental health I have to be
Speaker: Transparent, you know, you know what they say. Yeah, and it's not it's probably not Probably not a good conspiracy comparison, but you don't throw stones in a glass house and you know It's kind of like how I feel like I'm doing like I'm trying to tell everybody else not tell everybody else but help everybody else and in the meantime, I'm freaking falling apart over here my goddamn self like
Speaker: I don't want to, you know, my head kept going underwater and I was kind of losing it and I can't, I can't be that. I can't, I can't be that guy. So, you know, like I said, first and foremost, my apology to, to Nikki and the kids, um, especially Nikki. Cause unfortunately she's, she's here when the kids aren't here and she's here when I don't think anybody else is around. And then I think I'm alone and I, I'm,
Speaker: just kind of losing control a little bit and Secondly my apologies to you guys because I haven't been on my game for a little while, you know, I've kind of fallen off As far as all the shows go so Well, we'll get we'll get this we'll get this train right in get it back up on tracks and
Speaker: You know, that's what I gotta, I gotta practice what I preach at the end of the day. Oh man. Hey, nice. Appreciate you being here, brother. Good to see them old boys. I like watching the boys grow up. I need to get up there and see them before they graduate high school and meet them, but.
Speaker: So yes my uh as the song goes hello darkness my old friend it was it was uh It was and is still showing his ugly face. Um i'm going to Try not to drink as much that was starting to get a little bit out of control But um That's a pretty good Saturday night
Speaker: Hey, you ain't wrong, brother. Take me back to Charleston. I'll be there tomorrow if I could be. Yeah, the bar in Charleston with the coldest beer. I would be there in a heartbeat, man. I'm counting down the days. I got got some years. I got some years before I'm I'm paroled, but once once I'm once I'm free, I'm heading back down South. Nikki and I are going to go South.
Speaker: So Charleston's the number one spot. Charleston, Tampa, or possibly Galveston, but Charleston is number one. But it is kind of the crazy thing. Like I knew it was happening for me. I knew I was starting to kind of fall off a little bit and.
Speaker: I just kind of ignored it. I thought everything would just kind of go away on its own and it wasn't. So it fucking sucks. I hate feeling like this. I hate just this. I'm still trying to stay positive at the end of the day, but I just hate this feeling of just. Gloom. I get so sad and I'll speak more openly here in the next coming months about what happened with my job and with work and everything like that.
Speaker: kind of fill you guys in a little bit more, but I want to wait until we reach an avenue where I can talk about it. And I'm not going to mother fuck anybody. I'm not going to shit on anybody. No, not actual parole. No, I'm here. I'm here in Ohio until my kids graduate. So I got, uh,
Speaker: I got like eight more years for cash before you graduate school. So I got eight more years on my sentence before I can, you know, get paroled or, or get out on, you know. So yeah, unfortunately I'm stuck in Ohio.
Speaker: But like I said, I fully plan on speaking on it a little bit more. Um, and like I said, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna mother fuck anybody or mother fuck the company or anything like that. I just want to see where it goes in the next month or so. I'll have more answers. I'll have more of a definitive answer and all that. But, uh, maybe you give you guys a better understanding why I'm kind of where I'm at and where, uh, why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and, and,
Speaker: why I was starting to slowly slide back into a bad place at the end of the day. But now that I've acknowledged it and I've come to terms with it, I'm gonna start working on it and hopefully it doesn't continue to eat at me and continue to get the best of me and continue to move forward and do what I need to do at the end of the day, AKA man up. Man it up.
Speaker: At the end of the day, um, you know, but like I said, I was, I was starting to get a little bit more anxious even doing this show. That's what I noticed. I was starting to drink more. I was starting to drink a lot more, especially during the week.
Speaker: Now weekend Saturdays have always been kind of a free for all, but I was drinking a lot more during the week, which is something that I don't like to do. Like, you know, I like to have a couple of beers while I do the show, three, four, five, six beers, whatever. While I do the show, which is nothing. I was getting to the points where the shows were running longer because all the shows were running longer because I could fucking get away. You know, like I could just.
Speaker: Shut my brain off and forget about it. And I knew as soon as the shows were ever like a fucking light switch it was going to hit me again so it was affecting the shows it was affecting starting to affect me here at home and Not I'm more aware of it. I want to get everything kind of back back in order back into the flow of things back, you know back on track for the shows and
Speaker: try not to use the show as a crutch as as an escape rather than not dealing with the shit that I've got going on in my head. That's kind of where I am right now. You know, I'm in a weird spot, but I didn't really have anything planned for tonight's show. Like I said, it's going to kind of I'm I'm figuring it's going to be
Speaker: Very short show, very short show. I just wanted to come on, kind of get that shit off my chest. Apologize to everybody. Like I said, definitely want to get those apologies out to Nikki and the kids. And so kind of. Salud.
Speaker: What's going on, buddy? Uh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Sean. And that's one of the other things I want to, I want to work on trying to do. Um, even if I can only get up there for about an hour a day. Um, yes, I do. Uh, I have not been in the gym for a while and I know that was one of the things and that's the other thing I'm starting to.
Speaker: That's the other thing is kind of starting to wear on me. Um, I am putting on some weight. I am not fitting into the clothes that I was fitting into. So there's a lot going on with my head right now. And it's, it's like I said, I haven't gone full dark. Um, but I've been on the verge of falling off for the last little bit now. So.
Speaker: That's definitely one of the things that have led to it. I don't like the way I look. I'm reaching a point where I cannot stand to get out of the shower and walk past the fucking mirror right now. And I know probably some people go make fun of me and call me a girl or whatever. I don't care. It's just how I feel. And I don't like the way my clothes fit on me. You know, nothing's, you know, I've got back into my fat clothes and even they're getting a little bit snug. Oh, geez. It's a rough time. Yeah. So.
Speaker: But, uh, no, that's one of the, that's definitely one of the, get back, uh, get back to, uh, picking things up and putting things down. I can pick up heavy shit. Yeah. Sorry. I'm rolling out a little bit, a little bit late. You know, with some, some children of mine. That's, that's all right. I didn't really have, uh, a whole lot playing for tonight. Um,
Speaker: some issues this weekend. Yeah. Um kind of fell off a little bit as I was saying, I've been dealing with a lot of **** a lot of **** weighing on my mind. Uh last couple months and uh didn't really have much plan for the show tonight. I figured this is going to be kind of a short show. Um I just wanted to kind of come on. I can't do a Monday night men's mental health show and continue to lie to everybody.
Speaker: and continue to pretend like everything's perfectly fine and everything's normal. And so I was kind of like coming on here and apologizing to Nikki and the kids and to you guys, because I know I've kind of been dropping the ball as far as the show goes and to our listeners. And trying to get things back to normal. I was just saying right when you came in,
Speaker: The shows, I have got to get them back wrangled into, you know, three hours on Wednesdays and, you know, somewhere between one and three hours on Monday. You know, Saturdays will always be Saturdays. I'm never going to change Saturdays. Saturdays have always been, you know, the show could be an hour. The show could be six hours. We don't know. But that's always been Saturday.
Speaker: You know, Fridays, I want to keep that at an hour and a half, but I was using the long chose as an escape or as a crutcher. So I was saying that I was also drinking a lot more, especially during the weeks or during the week, not just on the weekends, but even like Mondays and Wednesdays, I was getting, getting pretty tipsy before we were ending the show. So, yeah. I wanted to get everything back in line and back in order.
Speaker: especially if I were you know, especially if we're gonna be doing a men's mental health so that I need to either a have my mind at least somewhat right or at least be honest enough to when things aren't going good that I can open up and talk about it because I can't now you telling other people that you know, you should be open and speak up and talking and here I am just bottling everything up and Completely snapping and losing my shit. Yeah. Well, I don't think that it's
Speaker: I don't think it's something that you should have to apologize for. I just want you to know that, first of all. Secondly, first of all, you're a great guy.
Speaker: the fact that the the thing is Chris is
Speaker: believe it or not, you are loved by most of the people around you most. I say most because nobody's loved by everybody. Yeah. Um, and dude, this, this show would not be here if it weren't for you. And the point of this show, the point of Monday night, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, the point of Monday night is for you to be vulnerable and it's hard. It's hard. I know that you had an interesting, interesting upbringing.
Speaker: And things haven't been easy for you. And I know, especially over the last five years, it's, it's definitely not been easy, easy for you. And you're still trying to get you back in, back in check, let alone a whole nother show where you're talking about mental health and, and, and giving other people advice. You know, sometimes it feels weird to tell other people that, you know, this is how you should do it when you're, you're not doing it the same way. And it's okay though.
Speaker: I'm seriously guilty of that. I've actually been told that many people they're like, look, you can give some of the best advice, but sometimes if you would just sit down and listen to yourself, take your own advice. It's hard, buddy. And it's okay. You don't need to apologize to us. Forgive yourself. Right. You don't need to apologize to anybody.
Speaker: If you should apologize to somebody, apologize to yourself and forgive yourself, dude. If you've had a shortcoming or a shortfall or you feel like you've been lacking and we haven't spoken up about it, dude, we are candid people and you know this. If we felt like you were lacking in some way, shape or form, I know that Jeff probably would have told you something and I would have said something to you or I would have checked in on you.
Speaker: So forgive yourself because we already have and the people that love you already have buddy. So I don't want you to think that just because you're not okay or if you're not following your own advice that this Monday night show should be any different brother. Oh yeah. It just, it's just more of how am I supposed to be like, Hey, this is what we're doing and I'm not even doing it myself at the end of the day.
Speaker: and you know the show is about showing weakness and showing vulnerability and letting our guards down and you know even if we have you know as as the show it expands and grows if other men want to come on the show and join us and you know and hang out or whatever the case may be or chitchat or share their story or
Speaker: whatever I'm open to that. It don't matter who you are. You don't even necessarily have to be quote unquote one of our friends. If you just want to be somebody that listens to the show and you want to come on and share your story, all you got to do is let us know. But like I said, I just, I can't, if I'm not going to do it, I, you know, I can't expect anybody else to do it. And I, and like I said, I, the last couple of months I've been dealing with a lot and a lot has been on my head or on my mind.
Speaker: Just wearing at me and like I said, you know, I gotta I gotta rain the shows back and they're starting to get out of control and like I said It was it was more of an escape for me. I don't have to think about the bullshit and again, I was starting to head down a dangerous path of drinking to To numb the numb the numb the I don't know pain or or silence the voices in my head so
Speaker: I need to get that under control as well. So getting the shows back to where they need to be with the marks and hitting the breaks. And I say like, I'm still there and I'm still doing my thing, but I've really let the shows slack. And we're not hitting our breaks like I used to like to do. We're not.
Speaker: I'm not even, I mean, after tonight, I'm 10 freaking shows behind. Well, I'm 11 shows behind if you count my music show. Just because I haven't had the desire or motivation to do the work at the end of the day. You can holler at me if you need help. If you need help running something or getting something done. I might be busy, but I've never got
Speaker: Too much on my plate to help out with the show, brother. Yeah, it's just I haven't had the motivation for much of anything at all. I mean, it's just kind of get up, go to work, come home, do the show, do my thing. And then on Fridays, you know, it's like I get home and I got to download music. I should have music downloaded like Thursday.
Speaker: Instead of Friday and then Friday I spend a couple hours posting the shows and stuff like that. So I Kind of talked to Nikki a little bit about it Saturday But at the same time I also don't want to burden her with too much of like Like the financial stuff and shit like that because she's got her own thing she's wearing it she's doing and or she's gotta do and stuff like that so it's like I
Speaker: I just gotta refocus and now that I've realized, okay, I'm fucking slipping again. Taking care of your mental health is an act of self -love.
Speaker: Exactly. I agree 100%. And I was good for a long time. Like I said, I've been good for a long time. It's the last couple of months with shit going on with work and get another thing going on. Come clean up the table. It freaking happened.
Speaker: Now that I'm aware of it, now we're getting the ship righted, so to say. Connor, I want to run something by you real quick, because I don't want to continue to beat this dead horse. Just know, guys, to Nikki and the kids, I do apologize. I haven't quite been myself lately, and I don't like that to you guys. I know you said I don't know anybody, but to you guys and to our listeners,
Speaker: I'm going to get this **** back on track. We're going to be we're going to be golden, right? We're going to we're going to get back to uh we're going to get we're going to get back to our nonsensical ways. There's a lot of **** That's the other thing. I mean, there's a lot on my plate when it comes to the show too and it's like man alive. I got uh
Speaker: Yeah. You don't have to, you don't have to worry about that. I'll probably do that shot. I will never become Antonio. I promise you that brother. Uh, but, uh, you know, with, uh, with the new quote unquote branding, restructuring Wednesdays and Saturdays, uh, as I was saying at the beginning of the show, our nonsensical nonsense Fridays are
Speaker: Books House of Music. Tuesdays are pennies and dimes makes 11 cents. Whatever that is. I don't know. They're starting at this week. I don't know. And then Mondays, I'm kind of floating around a couple names and I really like this one. Man Up Mondays.
Speaker: And mainly because we were talking about men's mental health and we're dealing with men's mental health and we're having the discussions and we're hitting the hard topics and whatnot. And you know, throughout the years, telling somebody to man up kind of has a negative condensation or whatever. That's not even a real connotation. Thank you. That's a condensation. Yeah. It gets all wet.
Speaker: I didn't finish the fifth grade for nothing. However, I want to fucking put a twist on it because if you actually look up man up in the definition of man up, it means to be courageous. It means to show courage, to be brave, to step up and do something that others won't do.
Speaker: And it has had such a negative note on it for so many. Take the negative out of it and stay. We are manning up because we are being brave. We are being courageous and we are willing to take that step to be the voice and, and, and hopefully help others that might be going through some shit. You know, I just spent almost 45 minutes talking about me slipping and dropping the ball.
Speaker: And I've got to be better about, look, if we're here on a Monday night and some shit's going through my head or going on, I got to say, Hey guys, can I have 10 minutes? Cause I got, I got to talk about this shit. Um, moist. So, you know, I want to take the negativity away from man up and I want to put a positive spin on it. Um, so when we say man up Monday, it's not in a negative light. It's in a positive light, letting everybody know that.
Speaker: Because you're being pulled the man up doesn't make you any less of a man. What about man up speaker? Man up what? Man up speak up. Man up speak up. What is that? Man up speak up. Man up speak up. I like that too. As I said, we're going to play around with the title and you'll be here so you can
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: Yeah, so yeah, you know, kind of play around, you know, kind of bounce around different titles and see what sticks and what works. And it's kind of what I went with tonight. And I like the weekly bro check, but, you know, I also kind of. Yeah. Sorry, blow my nose. I've been having a hell of a day.
Speaker: like allergies wise, I think because it's starting to warm up a little bit out here. I've been having like my nose getting clogged up and I go to blow my nose and it's the pollen, but it's also super dry still. So all of that stuff, like I got blowing snot blood out of my face and it's just lovely.
Speaker: my face hurts like hell but anyway you know i know this show is about sharing and opening up and stuff there's just some things that may be to yourself you know and you got uh weird slimy mucusy substances and uh you know blood coming out of places that typically normally don't you know keep that to yourself buddy no i don't want to keep it to myself if i can't tell the show who the hell am i going to tell it to
Speaker: come on man. Your wife? I don't know. She she she she only she only finds out about the the blood coming out of other orifices. Yeah, she she's I'm pretty sure when you guys got married, she said for better or worse in sickness and in health. So wait a minute. Why is your come bloody?
Speaker: What the hell is going on here? But, Sean, I don't think it's wise to take advice from Wheeler Walker or Walker Wheeler, whatever he's calling himself these days. But, yeah, like I said, it's just, man, this was a whirlwind of a weekend, so to say, around here for me.
Speaker: So it's, it's, it's, it's funny because I literally just spent Monday talking about depression and, and, and, and, you know, the signs of it and symptoms and this, that, and the other thing. And it was like, then all week, it was like, fuck, I didn't realize it. And here I am going down this goddamn road.
Speaker: And it kind of just came to a hit Friday night, sort of say. But everybody's still alive. Nobody's unalived. Nobody's buried in the backyard. So that's good. That's a plus. Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Hello. Sorry, I was looking at. So Mark just messaged me from talking shit. Uh, about maybe March 18th for our collaboration show for the Monday night. Yeah. So a little something up. I think I got it in my beard.
Speaker: Oh, that sounds yummy. Let me know next time. I'd like to grab a taste. Yeah. You know, I, you know, my, my original from going after, uh, you know, uh, I had to push. I'm going to have to push the next Monday. Uh, shit. Well, maybe, you know, wait. Are you okay? Holy shit. Do I smell toast?
Speaker: I'm I'm looking for it right now. Good Christ. I'm trying to think I'm I'm like cuz this week it's all crazy. So cuz we're we're going on Thursday. So I wanted to I wanted to I'm doing dishes too. So I need you to take it down unless you want to leave it up. Where the hell is that? I forgot we had that. That's old.
Speaker: I think that's from a time when I actually had a stroke. No, I'm just I'm just thinking about. I'm getting too far ahead again. I've got ADHD brain scrambled brain over here like OK. Apparently I'm going to be here Friday, so I don't worry about that Saturday. I don't be you and Jeff. Yeah, I won't be. I'm on Monday to do this show. I think I will be.
Speaker: as you damn well should. Well, we're we're leaving Thursday night and then we're coming back Monday. OK. But we should be back. I think we're going to come back Monday afternoon. Where are you guys heading to? We're going up to we're going up to PA. So you know, that's right. That's right. You never remember you mentioned. That's been like I've tried to make this as you know, Nikki and I. The other day was her anniversary of move move of her moving in.
Speaker: Not necessarily way of super heavy on my mind, but as of late everything else compiled on, I feel bad because she literally left her everything behind. She's never really been out of her hometown. Yeah born and raised there. All of her friends are there. All of her family's there. Everything she knows is there. I think it's another thing. It's kind of been weighing on my mind lately is like I feel bad for her because.
Speaker: She just dropped up, she just literally dropped everything and came here for us to be together. You know, great, and we try to go back as much as we possibly can, and we go back for her friends' birthdays, and we go back for her son's birthday, and her parents' birthdays, and holidays, and stuff like that, which is relatively new, because I have no family or anything like that, but I have to worry about spending the holidays with,
Speaker: and we can take the kids with us, you know, because like her parents love the kids and the kids love her parents. That's great parents and grandkids usually do. I said you exactly. Yeah, Nikki had two boys and she's the only kid and she's the only child. You know, now they got two granddaughters and of course, her dad is just her dad in cash or like
Speaker: two peas in a damn pod. I love seeing it. I love it for the kids because it almost breaks my heart. Their actual real grandparents aren't around in the picture and the grandparents that they do have Nikki's parents and then their mom's fiance, his, his grandparent aren't even around. Like they're not even in the picture because they choose not to be.
Speaker: And these two other grandparents are coming in out of New York and gladly throwing the board. It's like, that's just crazy to me. Well, the kids love them. So I mean, like I said, they enjoy going out to the table, and they look good with us. And in the springtime with them, we hang out and all that jazz. So this is just a Nicki and I trip. So we're going to go up.
Speaker: Okay. **** them kids. Another day. Oh, we're going up for her birthday this weekend. And I try to take like either Friday off or Friday and Monday or or Monday off because I hate to go up there on a Friday after I get off work. I get off work at like freaking 330. Get home at four by the time we get out of here. It's like
Speaker: Yeah, we're getting up there at 738 o 'clock. So and then we have Saturday and then we get up Sunday and it feels like we're it's just rush. So I try to take a day or two extra off so we can spend an extra day or two up there. So. You know we get we get a couple full days and not just one day and then like rush out. You know the very next day so.
Speaker: try to make that, you know, so that, and she gets more time with her, with her friends and stuff like that. So I've seen her parents and that Chris, sorry. Give me a second. So, but the other things that started to compile onto everything else is just like, does it feel bad? But any,
Speaker: So I am I'm going to make it I'm gonna make an effort to be more opened Plus the door and it's gonna help me So I don't find myself in these shitty situations like I was this weekend I'm gonna make an effort to be a little bit more open a little bit more honest with you guys and with myself. Let's be honest I
Speaker: And we'll start making some changes around here. You know, I do want to start trying to go to the gym, like, you know, even if I go for an hour a day, we'll just get in there, get a quick workout in. So, and that's, you know, your physical health can, can start. It's one of those things, your physical health will also affect your mental health. As we've talked about with like Connor and all his medical issues and stuff like that, it starts to take its toll on it. And, you know, am I, am I unhealthy? Am I?
Speaker: Physically unhealthy. No, I'm a pretty healthy guy for the most part. You know, I got some Like banged up back and me and shoulder and stuff like that, but that's all injuries that happened when I was younger But for being a big guy, I'm pretty healthy for the most part but I'm not physically where I want to be So that's weighing on my mind as well so
Speaker: You know, I'll get there though Get back down drop some drop some LBS if I you know, that'll take some weight off of my mind Figuratively and literally I guess you could say at the end of the day So like I said, I do apologize for tonight as well because I'm just kind of all over the place and I didn't really have a plan for tonight. I Just wanted to kind of come in and tell you guys where I was and what was going on and
Speaker: Hopefully start to get things back on track because I feel horrible. I feel horrible for especially for Nikki. But it'll be all good. Down the road. So.
Speaker: I am a chronic apologizer. I think I can't help it. I'm a chronic apologize. I think I don't even know if that's a real thing, but it might be. So in the future, I will say this in the future. There's certain subjects that I want to, I want to touch on.
Speaker: And I know it's like a men's mental health show, but I think it's going to benefit both genders. Oh, I am my own worst. I am my own worst enemy. I am my own worst enemy and my own worst critic. I give myself so much shit. Um, and always will.
Speaker: It's always, uh, it's always fun. Right here. Living right here. Right. Oh no, I am. I'm 100 % guilty of it.
Speaker: I apologize for other people. I don't even have to have anything to do with it. And I, I'll apologize for other people. I don't know. It's weird. The joys of being a Libra scales equal bipolar. 100 % is 100 % is, uh,
Speaker: I do and Connor and I were talking about this. I do want to talk about like that down the road when we, when we do our show with our vets and our veterans and stuff like that. I want to talk about the, like the PTSD and stuff like that. Not only that, but, um, I was, I was
Speaker: Found myself in a rabbit hole. And I don't know how it happened. And I don't know how I got there. Yeah. Trust me, I'm gonna address narcissists down the road. That's gonna be a whole ass Monday show. But I found myself in this rabbit hole the other day.
Speaker: Excuse me of Male domestic violence survivors whether it's physical or mental or or whatever the case is and I Was like, oh my gosh, I want to speak on that I want to talk about that because I
Speaker: And I don't think they'll ever hear it because they're there. They don't listen to my dumb shit or my tirades or anything like that, but I've gone through it physically and mentally a couple of different occasions. So I found myself in this rabbit hole and I was like, I really want to talk about that at some point down the road. Uh,
Speaker: and then like dealing with a narcissist. And I've had conversations with a few people who have had their own run -ins. So yeah, you know, it is a men's show, but I think it's gonna, I think it's gonna, you know, hopefully have a positive light for both genders. I'm going to, I want to look up the, I want to watch that video that you sent me, by the way. Was it Darva, Darvo, Dorvo, Dorva, something like that.
Speaker: I want to look at that. I want to look at that video. Um, but because I think the percentage is like 13 % of men actually report domestic violence. I can't remember what the percentage is. I'll, I'll have the, I'll have the numbers and the percentages when I, when I, when we talk about this.
Speaker: Yeah. And there's somebody, I don't think I'm going to get her on this show, but I want to reach out to her again. You miss 100 % of the shots that she don't take. And I think it's going to be extremely polarizing, probably not.
Speaker: too beneficial for us, but she has a very large following and she is an advocate for men's rights, standing up for men, protecting men, and speaking out for men, you know. So again,
Speaker: The patriarchy does this to men though. It's the same as the exactly that's all I take them That's all I want to take the negative note away from man up and put it on a pot I want to put a positive spin on it put it into a positive freakin light Because it's actually a good fucking thing when when when when men men up is actually a positive thing It's actually a good thing. If you look at the definition of it, it's actually a good thing and you know my generation
Speaker: growing up, we were directly affected by the man up mentality, you know. So, but again, I don't think it's going to happen, but you know, thank you for the stars, right? It may backfire and kick me in the ass if I have her on the show, but. But it'll be worth it.
Speaker: But some ideas I want to talk about down the road and try to line people up. Maybe get some guests who want to come up. March, it looks like March 18th to confirm it. But March 18th, we're going to do a team up with Mark and Brian from the Talking Shit podcast.
Speaker: And do a show together focused on men's obviously on the men's mental health side So that'll be that'll be a fun show that'll be a good show So I Have ideas But again, you know we can share but I would also like to have some stats. I don't want to become a fucking You know nerd just going
Speaker: 82 % of men in relationships are victims of domestic violence and 13 % of the men they don't report it because they don't want to come across like I want to actually share stories but still have some numbers to back up what we're talking about without sounded like complete fucking nerds. So but you know, and then just
Speaker: you know, relationships in general, uh, because a lot of men don't talk about relationships or, or being in relationships or, or the struggles of being in relationships. We just kind of go through the motions. I would love to have a panel where we'll talk about that, uh, and, and things where, you know, what makes your relationship work? What makes your relationship strong?
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. But I don't have to be a complete freaking nerd and have every statistic, you know, I can have the basics and kind of, you know, uh, I better be careful or I'll be just going to men's mental health website and sharing it on the screen and reading it off. I don't want to do that, but a lot of things I want to do with this show. A lot of, a lot of roads. I want to go down and avenues. I want to,
Speaker: I wanna poke my head into, I guess you could say, and whatnot. And hopefully grow myself. Hopefully grow and be a little bit better myself. It's not all about, you know, hopefully I can better myself, maybe Connor and, you know, I don't know if Brian will ever become a full -time part of the show, like we had talked about it.
Speaker: And I also I understand he's an hour behind us he's got work and stuff like that I'm not here to be credible. I'm just here to hear myself talk But
Speaker: Yes, I know you're one of the biggest ones that was in my ear. I hope so. I hope mainly more, more, more people than myself. I don't know his name yet. Um, what did I miss? It's an important subject matter and I'm proud of you.
Speaker: I think I think I think we can take it on in a way where we can be serious about it, but then we can also have our moments of not so serious and still have fun. Not just kind of like I said, I didn't really have much plan for tonight other than just kind of coming on here and just kind of. I'm sorry for yourself. No, yeah, no, not feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, but everybody look OK.
Speaker: My bad. I dropped the ball, but I'm good. I'm getting it fixed. Time deal. But I just kind of think it and just kind of rambling out loud about some of the ideas that I have. I thought I have like, you know, male domestic violence. We can line up some veterans and talking to you guys about, you know, obviously you were going to run that, you know, talking about the PTSD and the struggles of being away from home and this and the other thing.
Speaker: male survivors of domestic violence, dealing with narcissist, you know, just like relationship talk, like conversations about relationships, you know, things that help your relationship, the struggles of being in a relationship, you know, the ups and downs and stuff like that. And what makes sure, you know, what makes people's relationships work and shit like that. You know, just trying to hopefully expand and grow to the point where
Speaker: you know, people would be willing to come on the show and hang out with us and shit chat with us, you know, complete strangers or friends of, friends of ours, whatever the face may be. If in March 18th, it looks like we're going to do the team up with Mark and Brian from, uh, from, uh, talking shit. So sounds like a fun time. Yeah. It's, it's a, it's a heavy subject to take on and especially
Speaker: I don't think a lot of people expect it coming from us because we are known for being, you know, we've made a reputation for being, you know, fun -loving, good time fuckheads, you know, telling farting dick jokes all the time to, you know, but it's, again, it's a part of growth. It's where as you grow,
Speaker: you change and as you change, you grow. So, well, and we, you know, I kind of was thinking the same thing. I was actually thinking like that's going to work in our favor. We're known for being fuck heads and fuck offs, but you know, we're real at least at the end of the day. Well,
Speaker: No, I keep trying to say something and then you keep talking and I'm not trying to cut you off. So I'm trying to finish your thoughts. I don't want to tell you to shut the fuck up. You're a smart guy. You know things. I'm a pro. A fart smeller. No, I think that the fact that, I mean, as, as silly of people as we are to put in a, in nice words, because my kids are awake.
Speaker: As silly of people as we are, I feel like it's almost important that we are the ones to do this show, to do this Monday night. Because I think that a lot of people have this misconception that the people who act happy and funny, especially the people who you think are the funniest people on Earth, who have a dark sense of humor, but it always kills and it's always funny when they say it, yada, yada, yada.
Speaker: A lot of the times, the people with those senses of humor that tell jokes are trying to find an escape for themselves. And a lot of humor that comes from that comes from dark pasts. And I think that it's important that we show, and I think that we've shown with Haas, and a little bit with you, and maybe a little bit with me, but not really.
Speaker: But, you know, even though we are these characters, everybody has a past, everybody has a background. And even the nicest of people, the best of people, look at Robin Williams, have huge problems. I was just going to say Robin Williams, one of his more famous quotes when it comes to, you know, mental health and mental health awareness, as Robin Williams said, I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because
Speaker: they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that. It doesn't matter how many times I read that or how many times I hear that or how many times I say it, it still hits me really hard. And it's a tough truth and it's one that I think a lot of people don't fully believe. I know that especially when I was in
Speaker: high school I can look back and I can remember the class clowns who everyone enjoyed or the popular kids that were all funny. A lot of them ended up as they got older and I started to get to know them as actual friends instead of just people I went to school with. They all had really dark pasts and things that they were running from through their humor.
Speaker: or through their charismaticness. And it's something that I think isn't touched on enough, which is people utilizing what everyone else thinks is their better traits to run from the things that hurt them. Well, I had that
Speaker: Robin Williams quote sent to me by a very good friend of mine who had seen me probably my lowest at my darkest point. And he sent me that one day and he was like, you know, I've read this a lot and every time I've read it, I read it. The first person I always think of is you and I read it and I was kind of like, yeah, whatever. And then later that night I was I was sitting in my truck.
Speaker: This was sent to me a few years ago. I was sitting in my truck and I I reread it And it hit me hard and then it was like I came to that realization is that it's a hundred percent true Like you just said man, you know, we like to hide behind our humor Humorous is a defense mechanism says like you
Speaker: It's a good thing. I can't **** speak because I basically said humor is the defense record. That's me. Don't worry. I got you. Uh yeah, I'm you know, I I've always been guilty of that. I've always been kind of do quality and enjoy, you know, not being serious but um do we have one? It's but you know, we haven't seen it heat it up.
Speaker: Yeah, so yes, we have a furnace that will heat the house But it's not cold in here You're just cold because you're sick Nobody else is cold. It's just you You are Yes, we knew we were so multifaceted well People know how especially and because then the bar is set really low so their expectations of me are set really low It's easier that way
Speaker: But no, on that subject, since I've gotten out, I have had to be checked by Nikki particularly on my sense of humor and dark humor, I should say. A particular instance shortly after we got here, my wife's best friend who's lived out here for like her entire fucking life.
Speaker: came over and she was hanging out. She was like, hey, Connor, how's it been since you got out? Blah, blah, blah. And jokingly, I said, well, I'm just hanging out, looking for ropes and wobbly stools. And she was like, what? And I was like, you know, looking for places to hang things that weigh 270 pounds -ish.
Speaker: Yeah. She was like, are you talking about, she was like, I mean, yeah, but I'm kidding. She was like, what is wrong with you? Like, that's a touchy subject for me because, you know, three years ago, me and my husband's best friend killed himself. And I was like, what? Yes. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker: Does, is that not something that everyone jokes about? And my wife was like, no, and you really need to stop. And I sat there and I apologized to her because it was like, listen, I, I am not free from, from having lost my fair share of people. I mean, I within the, within my first year of being in the military, I lost one of my, my good friends from high school who joined the Navy and on the boat hung himself with his belt.
Speaker: And I was like, you know, it's not that I'm desensitized to it as much as like, that's my coping mechanism. And we've used it so often that at this point, it's just become normal. It's that kind of humor. How you been? Well, kind of shitty. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make a joke about this, even though that's not really how I really feel. And then normal people hear you and they're like, are you okay?
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, are you somebody here's got public next thing, you know, you're getting Baker acted for three days. Yeah. And the common, the common joke with them in the military is, you know, you end up in a, in a spongy room with a white coat on that you can't move. Yeah. Hug me coat that you can't move your arms. Yeah. Just keep talking like that. That's where you'll be. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's.
Speaker: You know, depending upon your, you know, your situation or your background or whatever, you know, your, your, your sense of humor, you know, where you would make jokes like that. I had, you know, I had a tendency of being, you know, a little bit more raunchy, raunchy or, or whatnot. Just, just like, yeah, I, yeah, I still make them from time to time, but I'm not as bad as I used to be, but like,
Speaker: over sexual jokes or whatever. And like I said, we still make them. It's just not as bad as it used to be. I mean, like literally everything was turned into some kind of weird sex joke or whatever. Sorry, I'm yelling at my children to go get ready for bed while also trying to hold a conversation. It's harder than you'd think.
Speaker: I know I'm trying to get myself to touchy. He's currently cruising to that listen. Yeah, no, my... Apparently he's deaf. My middle child is suffering from a rough little headache and he fell asleep on the couch for the last 20 minutes while I was getting the kitchen cleaned up and starting on their dinner. So by the time I finished making my dinner
Speaker: He was zonked. He woke up and he's had a headache all day and everything. Sorry about you. I need you to eat so that you can go to bed. That was cash last Monday. I picked him up from his mom's and he got in the car and was like, what's wrong buddy? He was like, I got a headache. And I was like, oh man.
Speaker: They just had my middle one, she had stripped through and through B the week before. And then he comes home and I was like, crap, I gotta keep an eye on him. Hopefully he's not sick, you know what I mean? No, I didn't need that, but thank you. I was gonna ask you if you kept in the shower yet, buddy. Thank you.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: The fuck is that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I was pretty much a kid being sick. We keep an eye on him. We gave him some Tylenol and then he came home and kind of bounced around and I was like, man, I hope he's not getting sick now. And then gave him some whole medicine, you know, old day quill or whatever night quill at night. He was going in and out of sleeping and whatnot. And then he, uh,
Speaker: finally fell asleep for a couple hours and it was early and then he, of course, about time, Nikki and I were getting ready to go to bed. He wakes up and I'm like, dude, it's like midnight, bro. I said, you can sleep on the couch, but you really got to try to go to sleep and the next morning I could tell you back to a normal self. We just had a headache. It was kind of whooping his ass. But they're right. Yeah, they can't deal with a headache like, like, like we can. Yeah. So he,
Speaker: And I picked him up from school and I was like, how you feel, dude? I could hear it in his voice and his actions. I was like, oh, he's good. All right. He's fine. He just, he definitely just had a headache last week. So we're good. We don't have to worry about or flu A or flu B or COVID. You'd be with your headache last Monday. There's something about a kid being sick that will ruin your whole life.
Speaker: Carson got sick while we were at my mother -in -law's house while we were staying with her a couple months ago. And it wasn't like, oh, I feel terrible, kind of sick. It was a, oh, I'm going to throw up now, kind of get sick. And so he felt like fine. And out of nowhere, he just started throwing up. And I was like, well, couldn't be food poisoning because we all ate the same thing last night.
Speaker: So he woke up, threw up, and he was supposed to go to like, I don't know, Santa Claus thing down in Evansville or something like that, yada, yada, yada. And so my mother -in -law ended up taking my wife and my two other kids and I stayed home with the sick one, you know, because I drew the short damn straw. And I told him, I was like, listen, dude, I just, I need you to stay in your room all day. Everything like this, you know, I don't want you throwing up in grandma's living room.
Speaker: And he was like, well, can I at least have the switch? And my dumb ass said yes. So he laid down in his bed and played switch for probably two hours. And then I was sitting on the couch in the living room and I heard, I was like, oh, well, he's probably just coughing. And then I heard dad. I walked in there and he had spewed all over the damn switch.
Speaker: I'm like, you know where the Joy -Cons go, down the little slides or whatever on the sides of the switch? He had chunks stuck in between them. I cleaned it off before it became broken.
Speaker: Yeah, but it's just like, oh, damn it, dude. I was like, you fucking idiot. And you're throwing up and you're like, bro, I couldn't point the puke or somewhere else. Yeah. Like there was a $300 gaming device, man. But I was like sitting there looking at the switch, like I'd spend $300 or should I sit here cleaning puke out of it?
Speaker: So, so, you know, speak it like so as dads and then again, you know, great thing about this show is we can speak candidly as dads. Excuse me. So, I didn't mind handling, you know, the piggy and the poop or the shade or whatever, you know, the kids would get up with them even regular when they were babies.
Speaker: I got up in the middle of the night, I change diapers, I feed them, I do all that. So one thing is, and even to this day, and especially now that they're older, you know, whenever there's babies, it would just like spit up. That's one thing, but now that they're older and they're eating food, like, you know, when they get sick, I cannot do vomit. Nope. I'm the same way. I can do it. I can do everything else. No.
Speaker: blood. They cut themselves. I got you. I got you. I'll you know, we'll get you cleaned up, abandoned yet, whatever. If you're throwing up, you better get that **** in the toilet or clean it up. I ain't cleaning nothing up and I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to **** smell it. Nope, I'm with y 'all. I was, I was so mad that I had to clean that stuff up. I am. So,
Speaker: You have animals or anything like that? You got dogs or cats or anything? Yeah, yeah. We got dogs. I can't do any sort of a bump. So, so, yeah, when I when Nikki and I had first gotten married, Carson was probably a year old, maybe less. We had a little big old boxer mix. Cutest fucking dog I've ever met in my life. But anyway, he had he was allergic to fucking everything under the sun.
Speaker: everything. And so if he went outside and shoot on the grass, he'd throw up. And every fucking dog goes outside and choose on the fucking grass. Well, a lot of times they eat the grass when their belly's upset. Well, he would do it every day. And but like, he had to have certain dog food. And if he didn't get that, his stomach would get upset. And yada, yada, yada. Well, we went over to there's something about this fucking place, Indiana.
Speaker: We're out here hanging out with uh one of my wife's friends and we we stayed the night in her trailer and I woke up to uh Cooper I couldn't remember his goddamn name for a second fell down, but I woke up to Cooper fucking You know I was like oh god and he threw up and it was because he got into the to their dogs um food bowl
Speaker: and you could still see the **** kibbles and my wife was like, I need you to clean that up or I'm going to throw up and I was like, I'm not going to do much better and my friend looked at me like, I'm not going to **** do it. I was like, oh, no. I can't I think I think I I I picked up one like one like handful of the puke in a paper towel. Yes, if you want, if you're done, then go get in PJs and pull up.
Speaker: I think I picked up one with a paper towel and a plastic bag over my hand. Yeah. And as soon as I grabbed it, I ran outside and threw up everywhere. Everything that I had had for breakfast, gone. And my wife was like, I hate you. I'll clean it up.
Speaker: I can't, I can't, I can't do everything else. I can't, I can't handle vomit. I don't know if that makes me a bad dad, I'll be a bad dad. I don't care, you know, but I can't, I can't handle the vomit. And I told Nikki that like her dog, sometimes she's got a sensitive stomach and she's not allergic to, she's got a little bit of a sensitive stomach. And I, and first time she, I said, I said, I'm going to tell you right now, if she throws up, I can't, I said, I can do a lot of things, but.
Speaker: she throws up, I'm out. I'm out the game. Yeah. Don't even look at me. Don't even acknowledge me. You just pretend like I don't exist. You just pretend like I'm the invisible man. You don't see my ass. I'm nowhere to be found. It's just like, okay, don't worry. I got it. I was like, you, you have no idea.
Speaker: I don't mind the sound like if she's ever going to that like that don't bother me but when to see it and smell it and it all help matters done that I already have like super sensitive sense to smell anyways. I'm like a **** blood hound dude. The smell is so bad and and as soon as like get her as soon as she starts to get her outside, get her outside because it's it's going to be stuck in my nose all night long and I'm going to be sitting here on the verge of throwing up my I can't
Speaker: I'll clean it up, no big deal. I'll clean it up as best I can. I'll get the little carpet shampooer out and I'll shampoo the carpet right there on the spot. No matter how it can be as solid as concrete or as runny as chicken noodle soup. I'll clean them for days. That don't bother me. Yeah.
Speaker: I'm I'm with you. There's something about the smell that will get me every **** time and it was the same way with the kids even with like when they were babies and they would spit up like formula or breast milk and if I was holding one of the kids and they split up, I had to I had to hand them to to to their mom because I was like, I gotta go change or I'm going to start throwing up. Oh god. I had to explain to like my son
Speaker: the girls were great if they were like sick or whatever even when they were young and if they were throwing up, they would try to get to a trash can or get to the toilet. Cash, he will literally if his if his stomach's fucked up, he'll just sit there like he'll be sitting on the couch and just go. I'm like, dude. Yeah. Like, dude. Come on, man. You know, you get a warning. You know, you get a warning. Go to the trash can. Get to the sink. Get to the toilet. Get to the bathtub. I don't care but don't just sit
Speaker: You're you're warning is when the whole world goes. That's your that's your cue to get the out of my out of my living room. I don't mind like listening or like being able to hear it but something about hearing the not just the sound of the the heave but like if they throw up in the toilet and you hear the and it sounds like someone's pouring water into the toilet
Speaker: I get chills. Oh, you're like, Oh, you know, the, you know, thankfully Nikki has had to deal with it, but being a single dad, the last four or five, last five years, uh, you know, I got to the point.
Speaker: where like if cash or one of the girls got sick and they like throw up on the floor or something like that, I didn't even get paper towels or I just grabbed the vacuum cleaner. I was like, you know, I'll take the vacuum cleaner and I'll fucking, I'll hose it out. I'll stick it outside and then tomorrow, but I would get the vacuum cleaner and I would just, I couldn't handle it, man.
Speaker: Or if I, like, when I had a carpet stamp for them before the one that we just, I would just be like, you know, we'll fuck it. And I'm back with it, and I'm going to run the carpet stamp viewer over it. I don't know if that makes me a bad dad or not, but I'll deal with that later on down the road. It doesn't make you a bad dad. It just makes you a bit of a puss.
Speaker: don't think I didn't think about it, Binge. Binge, she said, I'm packing up to move. All right, we gotta buy new carpets. We got some last week. Don't think I didn't think about it. The first time Cash got sick, the first time he got sick in my apartment when we first came back home to Ohio, he threw up at his bedroom. He threw up in the living room. He threw up in the hallway. He threw up all over the fucking bathroom. I'm like, bro, what are you doing, man?
Speaker: I'm like, you're killing me. I already got enough problems that I'm dealing with. Now, I've got to try to figure out how to manage this problem. See, that's when you just you you rent a hotel for the night. Right. And and you call a cleaning service. Hey, listen, I need you to come clean up my carpet and make it not smell like throw up. Yeah. When you get there, don't be mad. I'm warning you now. I'll pay extra. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, I don't know.
Speaker: or it's just oh man Monday night all about mental health and kids throw up. It's you know, it's it's mental health and let's be honest. Let's throw the caveat in there. Let's you know, it wasn't and what the the reality of being a dad of being a dad. You know, mental health and being a dad isn't all sunshine and roses. Ladies and gentlemen, there is
Speaker: Nobody told me before being a dad how mentally straining it would be. How fucking, how hard it is to parent. Like I don't know how people do this whole like gentle parenting shit because I have the shortest fucking fuse and I have to really try, really, really try to be calm when I know the kids don't deserve me yelling at them or something like that. But they've just gotten on my last nerve.
Speaker: Yeah, and that's like everything like with me the last few months with with shit with me almost reaching a complete fucking mental breakdown and a complete
Speaker: uh 180 into into the i'm just going to call it what it is it sounds cliche you can you guys can judge me however you want but falling into the darkness again and going into the bad fucking freaking out about my goddamn oldest daughter graduating high school i shouldn't be the one freaking out she should be and she doesn't have a goddamn care in the world and i'm over here losing sleep at night letting it eat up eat me up inside like did i do something to fail her did
Speaker: You know, is it my fault? Like she might not graduate high school and she has no fucks to give about it at all. Meanwhile, it's killing me. You know, it's, it's 100 % fucking absolutely destroying me. And I've done everything I can do to help her and give her all the tools and everything she needs to the point where it's almost like, well, now I'm just a terrible human being because I'm about ready to just throw my hands up and say, I'm done. Mm -hmm.
Speaker: Like, if you do, you do. If you don't, you don't. I guess go back to summer school or enjoy being a senior again next year. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. She 18 next year, right? She's 18 right now. Oh, shit. Yeah, she turned 18 in April. I mean, she can just fucking walk away. And then it's like, really? All the time and effort and energy and money that I spent in, I put into you going to a vocational school.
Speaker: everything like that. And it's just, you know, again, like it's, it's weighing the heaviest fuck on me right now on top of everything else. Well, it's, it's hard. They don't. And it's sad because I don't, I'm not that parent that I don't instill that shit in my kids. Like I want my kids to be good kids. I want my kids to give a damn about their education. My middle daughter, she's failing math and she's freaking out. And I said, well, don't worry.
Speaker: got the opportunity to go to tutoring. You go to tutoring after school and she's going, she's going every day, getting math tutoring so she can bring up her math grade. Cause she does not like having bad grades. My son, he's like, I'm just going to get by on my sense of humor and good looks. Like apparently I don't know what his, I don't know what his, his, his mission is, but I feel it, man. I did it. I did it in high school. I was like, no longer battle them in school. Yeah.
Speaker: Was charming to the teachers Yeah, you know he's a good kid. He's a good kid. He's a kid too, so you know he so you know You know and he and he's pretty self -motivated, and that's why I try to I'm like you're 18, and you're a senior well by Connor 18, and you're a freaking senior And you know and your old brother has more motivation than you do That is ridiculous
Speaker: Damn ten -year -old brother has more motivation than you do and it's killing me like at the same time Like she don't care and it's killing me. It's eating me up. I am it's weighing heavy as fuck on my mind And I was 18 I had two jobs I Bought my own cars
Speaker: I had my own place, and I was still going to school my senior year, because I moved out on my 18th, right around my 18th birthday, my senior year of high school. I turned 18 in October. That's the beginning of school, basically. So damn near my entire senior year, I was living on my own. Well, things were different when you were a kid, dad, and when you were 18, and no, it wasn't. No, it's not, no, it's not.
Speaker: Because you could have a job. You could have your license. You could have your own car. And if you wanted to, you could have your own place. Well, can you use it? What's up? Yeah. Okay. My beard is mess. Um, well, I want to, I want to, first of all,
Speaker: I want to set your heart at ease, Chris. Because I mean, I don't understand it from a parent's perspective, personally. But my brother -in -law, he dropped out of high school his senior year, or no, his junior year, because he was failing everything.
Speaker: Granted there were some things that happened with my wife's family that Really fucked up his world and his view and all this that and the other and it made it really hard for him at school amongst other things but That aside he dropped out of school And I remember having conversation after conversation after conversation with him and with my mother -in -law because
Speaker: his, his real dad was not really in the picture for that, that year and a half, two years. Like, why are you just giving up? What, what happened? Like what's going on? You were doing all right in school. You're getting like C's and B's like, and that's okay, dude. C's get, get your diploma in high school. Right. That's all, that's all you need. Like it's, it's not even that hard.
Speaker: you know, I barely tried in my senior year of high school and I got a C in everything and an A, but I also flunked math. And then she let me do test regression as that's how I graduated. But I was like, you know, what, what the hell happened? What changed? And he was, you know, I was like, is it because of what's going on? He was like, I mean, a little bit, but at the same time, you know, I just,
Speaker: I don't want to do this. I don't want to go to college and I don't want to go chase some corporate ladder, all this other stuff. And I was like, dude, you're 17. Like you need to go to school, dude. What are you talking about? And eventually what he ended up doing was coming to an agreement with his parents that if he dropped out of school, that he would get his GED.
Speaker: So he dropped out of school, got his GED, and he lived with his mom for about six months to a year until he was 18. And then once he turned 18, he moved out and got his own place. He had a GED, that was it. And from the outside looking in, I guess, not from his perspective, it was, dude, you've just thrown so much away.
Speaker: Mm -hmm And I'm not encouraging anyone to drop out of school, I think it's stupid to drop out of school I still hate him for doing that but right And I was really mad at him for a couple months and we talked it out but He ended up graduating getting out. He got his own. He got a job working in like landscape. It was a minimum wage job and Then he busted his ass at that and then on top of that he decided he was going to go to a technical school
Speaker: He tried technical school for IT, and he hated it, so he didn't do that. And he ended up working at this landscape company for five years and making actually really good money. And now he's got a job offer from Toyota, and now he works over at Toyota making even better money.
Speaker: The whole point of me saying that is like yes, I feel I still think fucking stupid for having dropped out of out of high school But it's not the end of the world There she she's she's 18. She's not 30. Yeah, no, it's As a as a father, I'm sure yeah, but it's not the end of the world it's it's more of a frustrating thing because She was given an opportunity that not everybody is given by going to
Speaker: a vocational school like you know, there's a waiting list for that you you are put on a list and you have to be accepted You know and good for your brother -in -law. I mean in all honesty, I know guys like that They barely got through high school and it always seems like landscaping is the way that they go Well, it's because it's especially for dudes. Yeah, like he's he's six foot four. He is a brick shit house Yeah, he makes you he makes you look fucking small. I
Speaker: Like he, well, probably not. He's, he's about your size, a bit taller. He's a big fucking kid. Yeah. He's a couple of dollars. I mean, I, well, he's not a kid anymore. He's 21, but, you know, I have, I have several friends that have gone into landscaping and have stayed there and they're still working with the same company. They've been at for 10 to 20 years and they're making stupid money. Yep. But, you know, but she was given an opportunity.
Speaker: to go to a vocational school and to learn a trade. She was getting an opportunity and she, she, she was all gung ho and this is what she wanted to do. And at the end of the day, it wasn't what she wanted to do. And all she's done since she's been there is be wrapped up in fucking stupid ass drama with her stupid ass friends and fucking one boyfriend after another. And it was just like, you know,
Speaker: Here I am hoping, like, you know, like trying to push you and motivate you. And I, you know, and I have expectations and I know she can do it. That's the fucked up thing about it. She can 100 % do it with ease, with ease. But now you've wasted all that time, all that energy, you know, the money. You might not get your certificate. You more than likely. And then she has no worth at work. She won't get a job. You know, she, she had a job.
Speaker: She walked out her Nicki work together. They walked out on the same day, same time. And I've told her since you need to go get a job. Walmart's hiring. I ain't working at Walmart. Why? Why? I'm not working in retail. Why? Because what the fuck do you know about working in retail? You've had one job. You've had two jobs and one job. I wouldn't even call that a job because you work there like once every three weeks. Yep.
Speaker: I'm not working at Walmart. It's fucking you're not gonna work in Walmart because I'm gonna tell you right now if I lose my job and I have to go work somewhere I'm gonna go work at fucking McDonald's if I have to I'll go work in McDonald's because they played they pay their employees pretty damn well and they got great fucking benefits It's a and great fucking perks of being in a Walmart employee. I Like there's cats in there that don't look like it, but they make more money than I do right now It is it's
Speaker: I am so grateful that I got the opportunity to go to the vocational school and to take building trades and to get a head start out of everybody else. I got friends of mine that I graduated with that went and got master's degrees. I graduated 24 years ago in June. They're not even close to paying off their student loans. And don't make what I make an hour.
Speaker: with a goddamn master's degree. So there's there's something I tell you this from personal experience. There's something about not telling you how to parent, but there's something about desperation that will force you to work wherever the fuck you can. That's that's why I said, I mean, and this is part of what I'm what I'm going through right now. This is this is part of
Speaker: My mindset right now and why you know, I'm struggling right now. Like I'm literally fucking struggling and Fighting with everything I have not to fall into a deep dark depression again This is one of the things because I'm at the point where I'm just gonna wash my hands and and and I told Nikki this I was like, I I can't even believe I'm saying this out loud. Let alone thinking it She gets a year after she graduates and then I'm
Speaker: And to have a job, have a license, have a vehicle, and have enough money saved up to have her own place. And I'm kicking her out. And if she doesn't have those things, well, I don't know what to tell you. And I don't want to be that dad, but. You have to, I mean, I'm not telling you have to, but.
Speaker: I hate that. I fucking when Nicki and I were had first gotten married, I didn't have a job. And I had this mentality of I'm not working anywhere that I am better than. I'm not working at McDonald's. I'm not working on fucking Walmart. I sound a lot like your daughter. I'm not. I'm not working at some bullshit establishment where, yeah, they've got good benefits, but they don't pay me well enough. And all this, all this that and the other, you know, I kind of like Ben, you said, you know, I have standards.
Speaker: I've got standards but I Ran through the bonus that the guard gave me which was a $20 ,000 bonus I ran through that bonus in the first three months of Nikki and I living together because she was the only one working and We couldn't pay rent we were about to get evicted and I was like fuck and so I went and I worked worked minimum wage at McDonald's for three months until I got a job at salvage yard that paid me a
Speaker: 25 cents more an hour But it was 60 hours, you know 60 hours a week or however many you know, I worked overtime all the fucking time and It was I fucking hated these jobs But the only way I was gonna live was to do it there is it's that You know, I I hate what I'm doing but it motivates me to do better and get better and
Speaker: Mm -hmm. And right now all she has is what you get what you what you give her and She doesn't really have to work for anything She doesn't have to graduate high school because dad's got my back mom's got my back, you know all this stuff and that's Going to change when she leaves Mm -hmm. And you know, there's there's a difference between like making your kid grow up and Kicking your kid to the curb and telling them it's your fucking problem now
Speaker: There's a different there's a difference between the two I mean you can help them and Point them in the right direction as long as you aren't just like now fuck you until you get a job in a place You can't even come say hi to us anymore I'm not like I'm not disowning her but the problem is Exactly like I Know she can do it and that's and that's the fucked up thing about it is I know she can fucking do it
Speaker: She's just choosing not to She doesn't have that I Don't have that secondary backup from her mom because since we've come back to Ohio unfortunately, they skirted by and got by by mooching off of others and living off of others and
Speaker: Everything else and it's like she's seeing this and it's like well I mean this is how it works and it's like no because How are you seeing this and you live with me full time and you're not seeing the struggles that I go through what I do Why why I do what I do like and don't listen to the words that are coming out of my I understand this is easier I understand this is easier Trust me if I had the means and and I had no
Speaker: I had no self -respect or if I if I had a lazy bone in me then yeah I would probably try to do the same but that's not who I am I'm built different I want these guys to be built different too I want them to you know work hard and be proud of what they have I don't have a lot but I'm a proud I'm proud of everything I got because I've gotten it on my own never had help I've never had handouts did a little bit of a little bit
Speaker: Little bit of help that I have had has cost me. I've never had a free handout Nobody can ever say they gave me anything for free Not even my parents because not only have I paid back every dime that I've owed I've probably paid back enough money for all the money. They've given my sisters and never asked for a dime from them I was paying on a $2 ,000 loan for fucking five years do the math $100 a week or a month or whatever do the math
Speaker: You know, it was on the credit card and interest. Yeah. Well, the interest rate isn't that high when you're paying four times your minimal balance, you know, are your minimal too. Trust me, I'm seeing how that works right now. It's exactly what it is. She's more, she's more worried about boys and she's more worried about hanging out with her friends. And she's more worried about drama and everything else.
Speaker: And that's what I said, but it kills me because I feel like You know a part of me feels like I was a father. I failed as a as a as a dad I've failed as a man to prepare her for life Even though I have tried, you know, I've pushed her to get a job I've pushed her to get her license. I've pushed her to you know, I will help you get a car I'll put you on my insurance She has a cell phone You don't have to pay for it
Speaker: We're taking care of it. And I'm like, I'm not gonna pay for your car. I'm not gonna pay for your license. I'll help you do whatever you need to do to get your license. I will help you get a car, help you with a down payment. From that moment on, the payments are up to you. The insurance is up to you. I'll put you on my insurance. I'll take the hit. But it's just getting to the point where it breaks my fucking heart.
Speaker: And it weighs heavy on my mind that I have to go Come May you've got a year Get your shit together get your shit, right? If in a year you're doing the things that I think you should be doing and I won't tell her this But if she's doing the things that she should be doing And she hasn't found a place, okay, don't worry
Speaker: Congratulations, you've got in the car. You've got a job. You're saving money. You're working hard Keep saving your money and when you have the money and you find a place that you like that's gonna be safe in a good neighborhood in a good area then we cross that bridge when we get there, but If not, then it feels like I'm just tossing her out on the street and then I gotta deal with that then I gotta Look at myself in the mirror and go I hear a real fucking piece of shit click
Speaker: And I know I'm not it's just it's it's it's tough love I'm not watching like I'm not disown in or anything like that. You know one is It's time to grow up Gonna fucking hate it because I know she can do it. She's super smart She's super intelligent and when she wants to do something and she puts her mind to it. She will Fucking hate it
Speaker: And it's fucking eating me up But It's just I just kind of reach that point I don't know what else to do or where else to go But uh There's another keep that keep trying I guess But that's the thing like
Speaker: You don't have the experience or the background to be picky right now. Right now, you take whatever you can get job -wise. And you don't know as much as you think you know. Shit, I was 18 years old. I worked for Kekozin Construction and I worked for Kroger's. If I didn't get the job offers that I had gotten in life because I went to the vocational school, I would have never left Kroger's again.
Speaker: I can be on the verge of retiring and be making good fucking money from a grocery store, maybe more than what I make right now. And on the verge of retiring at 43 years old, 42 years old, sorry, I'm 42. Shit, if I'd have never left Ohio and stayed at OSU, I would be retiring next year. Next year or the, yeah. Yeah, I think next year. I could be if I wanted to at 20 years.
Speaker: Tough love is teachable moments for kids. It also teaches us as parents that we do what we have to do for the betterment Of our children. Yeah, exactly. It don't make it any easier Even though I know I'm doing the right thing and even though do the day is what needs to be done Sure as shit don't make it any fucking easier. That's for goddamn sure That's for fucking goddamn sure
Speaker: So it's like, I don't know, man. Like let's just, let's just, uh, I don't know if I'm allowed to talk or not. You're muted. Am I allowed to talk? You can talk. I'm just on the phone. That's why I'm not talking to you. I'm listening. I was like, uh,
Speaker: He's on the phone. Should I shut the fuck up? Should we wrap this show up? What are you doing out there? What do you watch on your TV? Raw? What do you got on? You guys are in Michigan Jersey. I'm going to get ready and wrap this up here in a couple of minutes if you want to put Raw on the big TV in the living room.
Speaker: So if you want to put it on the big TV, you can. But speaking of letting the young ones down, it's another reason I want to wrap this up, wrap this up kind of early tonight because he wanted to watch wrestling together. So wrestling started about an hour ago.
Speaker: I wish I could put it on in here and I could just put it on the TV and do the show and he can come in here and hang out, but I don't have the cable network or the cable app on my, I can't get it on my PS4. Plus at the end of the day, there's no real reason for Monday night show to go three hours, unless we're like wrapped up in some serious conversation or some in -depth
Speaker: Situations or whatnot. This is very serious. It's always serious this is this is The nonsensical nonsense podcast umbrella. This is always serious No, yeah, no again, I like I said, I that's something else. I mean I feel like I haven't I've been spending more time doing this when they're here during the week and
Speaker: than actually spending with them hanging out, especially when the shows go three, four, five, six hours on a Wednesday or on a fucking Monday. But, uh, okay. What's that? Oh,
Speaker: Okay. Give me your folder and then go to bed, please. I just had that same conversation with cash today. Give me your folder and let me see. Well, it's like, well, give me your folder, bro. Well, I just finished putting them to bed and it never, it never fails every single night. I will put them to bed. And whether it's five minutes later or 20 minutes later, one of the two will come out.
Speaker: Usually Carson leads the way because he's the oldest. I got to check my backpack. I'm thirsty. I'm still hungry. I forgot to brush my teeth. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Well, they're off Friday for parent or teacher in service day and then they're off Monday for President's Day. However, I do want to wrap this up. Connor, thank you for hanging out tonight.
Speaker: pretty usual. Do appreciate it. I always appreciate it. I I enjoy getting to like do the fun crazy shows with you now like Wednesdays and Saturdays and stuff like that but then I get to enjoy when we come in and we can we can have the series and hang out and chitchat and and and see a different side of each other. You know, yeah. Um I do enjoy that and like I said, you know, you guys are going to yell at me but I am sorry. I've been dropping the ball lately and I'm going to get my
Speaker: get it back on track and now that I'm aware and I know what's going on, I'm going to be more focused on getting that **** back in line, getting the show back in line, getting the shows I should say because I'm up to three, technically three different shows a week. I know. I'm about ready to just hand the reins for men's man up Monday or man up speak up or weekly bro check or whatever to Connor and just
Speaker: the the the
Speaker: just today started my, uh, my classes, my college classes for, uh, for my gunsmithing stuff. Well, I didn't think it was supposed to start till Wednesday and I checked my email today and I got an email congratulations on starting classes today. And I was like, Oh shit. And I looked online and there's a quiz. There's three assignments. I'm like, Oh, can one assignments do on Wednesday? I'm just like, Oh shit.
Speaker: But I did the quiz. I got a nine and a half out of 10 on my quiz. So that's good. And then I've got like, but the quiz is a little bit like 10 points. Everything else is worth a hundred points. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing for the rest of the week, but I got to get this done. Yeah. Well, that's, that's also right. Congratulations. I get into that class and everything. Um, you know, like I said, as we progress and as we move on and binge, I would love to.
Speaker: Brother you know, you're always welcome here if you're still here listening, you know, you're always welcome here I'd love to have you in here on a Monday night show Conversate different things that you know, I would like to open the door to not only our friends obviously we're doing the team up with talking shit, but you know if you're if you're a random listener and You like what we do here and you you feel like you get the urge where you want to come in just reach out You can say something in the box or you can find us on one of the various social medias
Speaker: Facebook, Instagram, X, Twitter. Um, we're on all those. We're on Twitch. Um, and, and you can listen to all the shows, wherever you listen to podcasts and that it's all under the nonsensical nonsense brand. So you can, if you find nonsensical nonsense podcasts on any of the social medias, if you go up to the top, it's going to be right there. The link, the bio link.
Speaker: And it's also right here. I put it in the bottom of the screen as I taught bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense. You can find, uh, for right now we're going to call it what it is. We're going to call it man up Monday. You got nonsensical nonsense and clicks house of music right now. All three of those shows, oddly enough, all three hosted by me, but under the umbrella nonetheless, but everything, you know, for all of that, it is, uh,
Speaker: on all the social media is that nonsensical nonsense. So, you know, if you guys want to reach out and say, Hey, do we love what you guys are doing on Monday night? You know, I would love to be able to the panel. I would love to be a part of the discussion or whatever. Um, you know, next week, um, I'm going to start also doing this. This is something I've got to get better at. Cause I'm always so used to being spontaneous.
Speaker: Um next week I would like to and Connor if you want to Get yourself prepared and do some research or whatever. I would like to talk about Being in a relationship with a narcissist And and or having a narcissist in your life and how they Treat you and affect your your mental well -being and whatnot like that
Speaker: So, you know, again, if you're catching the replay, if you're, if you're catching, catching it on one of the various podcast platforms and you want to share your two cents, feel free to chime in. Uh, and I know this is a men's mental health out or mental health show, but obviously we're focused on the men, but hopefully we can help the opposite sex as well.
Speaker: So God, I could tell I could tell some stories. Hopefully, you know, you're more than welcome to be in the chatters box and Deborah, Deborah, you know, you can be in the chatters box sharing your experiences, sharing your or, you know, push comes to shove.
Speaker: You know you're always welcome here Obviously it is a men's mental health thing, but if we can help somebody a Female as well that's going through some things awesome
Speaker: but I do want to focus next week. And I want to have conversations about a narcissist dealing with narcissistic people, being in a relationship with narcissist people, maybe working with a narcissist, whatever the case may be. The next week gaslighting you and tearing you down. Just remember who's in charge around here.
Speaker: But no, I would like to talk about that. I mean, you know, I would like to get into a conversation and and kind of dive into that and talk about some of the traits and characteristics and and whatnot to and red flags to be to to open your eyes to and pay attention to when it comes to narcissism. That being said, before I continue to fucking talk, I'm going to play a song like we normally do. I want to play it.
Speaker: And then when we come back, Connor, if you want to, when we come back, you want to do like a quote or words of wisdom because you said to talk to you on Monday for words of wisdom. I have a little quote here that I came across the other day that I liked, especially since we're doing what we're doing here. So, you know, I'll let you go first and then I'll go and then we'll end this bad boy up and move on down the road. But I'm going to wrap this up a little Matt James with Runaway.
Speaker: just for you guys know I started the show with over and out break great song by our friends that are over and out on a great video as well you can check out those guys everywhere wherever you stream music and on all social media at over underscore and underscore out and we got Matt James lead singer of blacktop mojo
Speaker: check out BlacktopMojo or Matt James at Matt James at BlacktopMojo, wherever you stream music and all social media, show them some love. Show our friends in the music world some love, because one thing about dealing with mental shit, and I think I need one of these days, I'll be 100 % honest with you guys. I think I just need one of these days where I just jump in the car and go for a drive. Music can really clear your mind. Speaking of having one of those days in your car, Matt James will run away.
Speaker: sundown the highway harms the unity about the small town in the rear view fitting like a photo in the sun she tried to leave the past in a cloud of dust i always can't admit i've been catching up some things you just can't
Speaker: Look okay, round the covers up so much Bit of a pain, it just wouldn't touch So she doubles up, backseat loaded up with hammer guns Running those line of lines out of touch
Speaker: You can't just
Speaker: It's funny how it all comes back around You can slam your foot down on the gas
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: I do what I do want to just say just in case any of my kids hear this or you know, anything like that. I hope you guys know I love you more than anything. I'll do absolutely anything in the world for you. Don't think I'm beating any of you guys up or shit or I don't have faith in any of you guys or anything like that. I know you guys could move mountains. And if you couldn't, I'd be right there to push them for you and make you think you did it. So.
Speaker: telling everything I'm shitting on you. I'm just venting and I love you guys more than anything. I know my kids like sometimes creep on the show and creep on our social media. So, but anyways, with that being said, we do appreciate you guys hanging out for another Monday night, another walk down men's mental health lane. I guess you could say, um, before we take off carters or anything, any, any words of wisdom you'd like to leave the people with tonight?
Speaker: you know what? There's a quote that I found on uh on Sunday night because I was thinking on Saturday night about it. Um and it is by Maya Angelou or and and Galao. Alright, it's Angela. Maya Angelou. She's an amazing poet. Nice nice grab quote wise because it is black history month but Maya Angelou is a fantastic poet. One of my favorites. I've never heard of her up until up until uh Sunday but here you can go play.
Speaker: the fifth
Speaker: that is a something that I think that all of us should should be able to relate to and if we can't then we should we should strive to relate to it more is not to let your past dictate how you are now in any negative way but to move forward and move in an upward direction from it and if you change change for the better 100 100 agree and it's a great quote like I said we did we could
Speaker: find Maya Angelou quotes for days. We could find poems for days. I'm a huge fan of poetry. And Maya Angelou is one of my favorites. So she's got some great works out there and some great uplifting quotes and poetry that is phenomenal.
Speaker: Also Jarvis, you're super late. Jarvis, you suck. We're here to uplift men. Jarvis, you suck. You know, I came across this the other day and this isn't so much a quote or anything like that. It's just a, it's just something to think about. Oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Come on the show Wednesday night so we can do so we can wish you a proper happy birthday Jarvis. And at least one or two more probably.
Speaker: Maybe. Oh, you little shit. Happy birthday, Jarvis. I didn't know it was your birthday today, buddy. Uh, come on the show Wednesday night so we can properly wish you happy birthday. I'd say Saturday, but, uh, I won't be here Saturday. Connor and Jeff should be here. But anyways, not so much a quote, just something to think about, especially with what we're dealing with and what we're talking about and the topics we're covering here. Um,
Speaker: I will absolutely remind you. Congratulations, dude. You got to come on, man. It's your birthday. You pastured final. We got, we got a wish you happy birthday. We got to congratulate you. Definitely bring your ass up. Bring us up Wednesday. So, but anyways, with the topics we're covering and the conversations that we're having and the roads that we're going to go down here in the future with, with this show, uh, whatever we call it right now, we're going to stand up Monday.
Speaker: And like I said, I don't mean that in a negative way in any way shape or form It is truly taking the negativity away from it and making man up a positive thing because as I said in the beginning of the show in the middle of the show definition of manning up and showing courage being brave Stepping in and doing the things that need to be done when nobody else will do that. I
Speaker: Nobody else is willing to have the tough conversations and nobody is willing to allow themselves to be vulnerable and weak and still show courage by discussing these things in a real manner, not just looking at the internet or sharing stats or anything like that, but real conversations, real manners, a real manner. With that being said, something to think about.
Speaker: And this goes to you to our men out there especially but the rest of the world think about this men cry Men break down men get anxiety Men feel insecure Men get abused Men have emotions then have mental illnesses It's not unmanly to struggle. Let's support men. Let's encourage men Don't belittle or silence men men struggle to
Speaker: everything that we're taught and we're told and you guys are told and the world is taught and told and We as men are taught and told we go that we don't go through we actually go through We just do it in silence There's no more silence I'm a big voice. I'm a big personality if I got to scream it on the mountaintops and goddamn it I will But I'm tired of our men being silenced look at the suicide rate
Speaker: In our in our world men compared to women Look at the suicide rate of men under the age of 25. It's out of control It's and it needs to be curved back we're losing far too many good men because they are taught or they are told that they're less of a man because they Have emotions or they have feelings or whatever the case may be and this is What we plan on doing here with this show
Speaker: This is my intentions. This is my goal. And Connor's on board with me. There's other people that are on board with us. I can be fun. I can be jokey guy. I can laugh and joke. I can be an asshole. I can raise my voice and I can curse and I can pound my chest like I'm King goddamn Kong. Or I can sit here and I can have real conversations with real people about real struggles and real issues. I am your Swiss utility knife.
Speaker: the the the the
Speaker: However, with that being said, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Tune in Wednesday night for a brand new episode of Nonsenseical Nonsense. I'm assuming our good friend Nonsenseical Biden will be joining us at some point in the show. Sorry. Nonsenseical Biden got a text message. Yeah, okay. I hope that was a good text message.
Speaker: Jeff will be there and I will be there and we will be back to our part jokes and dick jokes and all that fun jazz with that being said ladies and gentlemen, you know the routine I'm gonna say it on every show because it stands to be fucking this is like no more like this is the best closing words I can ever think of be good Fucking be good at it Till next time when there's no juice and fuck you, San Diego
Speaker: Go fuck yourself, San Diego. It's Monday. We can't say that. God. San Diego, if you have anything that you need to say and you have a penis, please feel free to come on here. We will only poop on you for 20 minutes about the fact that you are in California. And then we'll talk about your problems and the fact that they're all your fault anyway.
Speaker: You follow us I'll look at you you got content we'll follow you back A different city in California every Wednesday and every Saturday Don't fuck yourself Los Angeles
