We consider whether this entire podcast is real, or just a vision in John's little snowglobe. Meanwhile, the Twelfth and Fifth Doctor do battle across the dreamscape, in a pair of the best stories we've ever watched in one episode!

The Who That Dreams are Made Of – “Last Christmas” & “Kinda”

Danny Pink: we hardly knew ye. Seriously. We didn't really ever get a chance to know you. But now you're gone! And you do go out with a bang. Plus, we finally see who the hell this Missy character is. Also: a half-great story from years past with all the trappings that Porter loves.

Just a Hopeless Ro-bo-mantic – “Dark Water/Death in Heaven” & “The Invasion”

This episode you're going to want to watch in full sunlight, and make sure to surround yourself with a health amount of peat moss. The Doctor takes on nature's greatest scourge: PLANTS. Break out your hedge clippers, people!

The Doctor and the Beanstalk – “In The Forest of the Night” & “The Seeds of Doom”

In what is clearly an homage to the iconic Rob Schneider SNL sketch, "Tiny Elvis", we check in on two episodes where the Doctor deals with shrinkage.

Honey, I Shrunk the Doctor – “Flatline” & “Planet of Giants”

Always listen to your mummy. Unless they are intent on strangling you to death. The Twelfth and Fourth Doctor both explore Egyptology in two classic episodes.

Just One of the Sarcophagi – “Mummy on the Orient Express” & “Pyramids of Mars”

The Twelfth Doctor puts the big decision onto Clara and the human race. The Second Doctor amuses himself with a comb, and a brush, and a bowl full of mush. And some Cybermen.

Goodnight, Moon – “Kill the Moon” & “The Moonbase”

Global thermonuclear war. It's not a game. But it sure makes for a lot of excitement! John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes where the Doctor stops Earth from being annihilated.

Artificial Who-telligence – “The Caretaker” & “The War Machines”

We're getting the whole gang back together for one last score. John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes using heist plotlines.

Honor Among Thieves – “Time Heist” & “The Ribos Operation”

A unique Peter Capaldi story (where once again we see Clara is the key to all things at all times) is matched with a missing First Doctor story about French history. Oui oui!

It’s All Relative – “Listen” & “The Massacre”

Ooo de lally! It's Robin of the 'hood! Clara gets to live out a childhood dream meeting Nottingham Forest's famous do-gooder. And we watch/listen to a classic story taking a look at what Kind Richard was doing during the same time.

Kings and Things – “Robot of Sherwood” & “The Crusade”

A Doctor Who fan and his friend rank every episode ever, from the new series and the old.

No Not the Mind Probe: A Doctor Who podcast