Coercive Control.

This episode is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research.

We call this: What You Need to Know About Coercive Control.

This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. It is the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to coercively control you in a relationship -- or someone you love.

It is a fairly short episode, so it is easily heard in one sitting. And so you can hear it again and again.

You might want to take notes. This information can save someone's life.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.loveisrespect.org/] – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://rainn.org/] – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988



Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.whendatinghurts.com/]



DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.



Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

338. What You Need to Know About Coercive Control

Escalation.

This episode is me talking with you.

It is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research.

Let's call this: What You Need to Know About Escalation.

This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. It is the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to escalate a relationship with you -- or someone you love.

It is a fairly short episode, so it is easily heard in one sitting. And so you can hear it again and again.

You might want to take notes. This information can save someone's life.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.loveisrespect.org/] – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://rainn.org/] – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988



Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.whendatinghurts.com/]



DISCLAIMER:

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.



Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

337. What You Need to Know About Escalation

Content Warning & Disclaimer

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Anne offered to tell her story to us.

An army veteran, Anne found herself falling for Peter, who was also an army vet. They had a lot in common, so striking up a relationship was very easy.

There are many facets about Peter that were appealing, but when he became angry about something, he turned into a whole different person.

Not only in his behavior, but also the look on his face, in particular, his eyes. He promised he would not allow himself to become that angry again. But he was not able to do that.

Although a very strong person in many ways, Anne made the mistake of allowing Peter into (and taking control of) her life. This took time to happen, but later had the appearance of an overall plan.

There were many unfortunate decisions made by Anne, but they were attempts at making Peter more comfortable and increasing his self esteem.

We ask ourselves how could a smart woman like Anne allow this to happen, but she was a good person who was trying hard to lift Peter up in life. He took full advantage of her good acts.

Like with each of our survivor stories, there are many lessons to be learned from hearing Anne's story.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.loveisrespect.org/] – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://rainn.org/] – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988



Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

335. Anne - Unshakeable Army Veteran Lost Herself in an Abusive Relationship 

Content Warning & Disclaimer

These stories contain detailed accounts of emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and narcissistic abuse. They include descriptions of alcohol and drug misuse.

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Crystal offered to tell her story to us. The underlying point is, she found herself heading into one abusive relationship after another.

Was it bad luck? Maybe not.

Crystal put a focus in understanding why this was happening to her. And she eventually found the answer deep inside of herself.

This is one of those interviews where you should probably be taking notes. As a highly logical person, Crystal was able to piece together why she was on the receiving end of so much abuse.

You will hear about power imbalances, gaslighting, and the many masks abusive predators wear to disguise what they are all about.

Get your pen and paper read for this one.

Stories like this one highlight critical warning signs of narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation. Recognizing these red flags early can help you or someone you love avoid years of pain and escape the “conveyor belt of chaos” that toxic relationships often become.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.loveisrespect.org/] – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://rainn.org/] – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988



Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

334. Crystal - Pt 2 of 2 - Power Imbalances & Hidden Masks: Stopping Patterns of Emotional Abuse

Content Warning & Disclaimer

These stories contain detailed accounts of emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and narcissistic abuse. They include descriptions of alcohol and drug misuse.

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Crystal offered to tell her story to us. The underlying point is, she found herself heading into one abusive relationship after another.

Was it bad luck? Maybe not.

Crystal put a focus in understanding why this was happening to her. And she eventually found the answer deep inside of herself.

This is one of those interviews where you should probably be taking notes. As a highly logical person, Crystal was able to piece together why she was on the receiving end of so much abuse.

You will hear about power imbalances, gaslighting, and the many masks abusive predators wear to disguise what they are all about.

Get your pen and paper read for this one.

Stories like this one highlight critical warning signs of narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation. Recognizing these red flags early can help you or someone you love avoid years of pain and escape the “conveyor belt of chaos” that toxic relationships often become.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]– Call 800-799-SAFE

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.loveisrespect.org/] – Call 866-331-9474

• RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://rainn.org/] – Call 800-656-4673

• SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988



Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast,

Bill Mitchell

333. Crystal - Pt 1 of 2 - Power Imbalances & Hidden Masks: Stopping Patterns of Emotional Abuse

Content Warning & Disclaimer

This true story contains detailed accounts of emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and a near-fatal poisoning. It includes descriptions of prescription drug misuse.

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse, trauma, or those struggling with suicidal thoughts. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

We decided to bring one of our early survivor stories back for you. It is a story of a man being abused by a woman.

From Psychology Today:

Abused men often don't tell their stories due to a combination of deep seated, social stigma, internalize expectations around masculinity, practical fears, and systemic barriers.

The silence isn't unique to men – abuse victims of any gender face shame and fear – but the dynamics hit male victims particularly hard because of cultural norms that frame men as inherently strong, self-reliant protectors, who cannot or should not be victims – especially at the hands of a female partner.

J.D. McCabe maintained a living relationship with his wife for nearly 20 years before their marriage, family, and world begin to crumble. Their foundation had always been rooted in trust. That trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship.

His wife always claimed things wouldn't, couldn't work without trust.

But one day, for reasons, J.D. could not fathom, his wife became suspicious of his every move. She enlisted her mother in her efforts, and together they forged the words of family, trust, and honesty into a hammer that beat him into the ground.

Their accusations accumulated and eventually it resulted in J.D. being involuntarily hospitalized.

This is an unusual story of abuse. And one of the few brought to this podcast where it's a man being abused by a woman. There are plenty more of these stories, however, men are reticent to come forth and speak. But J.D. does in this episode of WHEN DATING HURTS.

Bill Mitchell



If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The [https://www.thehotline.org/]

331. Rerelease of "Surviving Abuse from My Wife: Hidden Truths About Men DV Victims"

Content Warning & Disclaimer

This true story contains detailed accounts of emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and narcissistic abuse that began in childhood and continued into adulthood. It includes descriptions of prescription drug misuse, recreational drug abuse, failed suicide attempts, and completed suicides.

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse, trauma, or those struggling with suicidal thoughts. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Throughout the interview, you’ll hear the term DARVO — a common manipulation tactic used by abusers. DARVO stands for:

 * Deny
 * Attack
 * Reverse Victim and Offender

It occurs when the abuser flips the script, making the victim believe they are the problem and positioning themselves as the victim. This powerful form of gaslighting is explained clearly during Riel’s powerful testimony.

When I sat down with Riel, I thought I understood the broad strokes of her story. What unfolded was far more shocking and complex than I anticipated. The layers of betrayal — not just from her long-term partner, but also from her own mother — were deeply disturbing and completely unexpected.

Riel survived 20 years in a toxic, chaotic relationship that should never have begun. Her story is a sobering reminder of how narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma can trap someone in a destructive cycle for decades.

Stories like Riel’s highlight critical warning signs of narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation. Recognizing these red flags early can help you or someone you love avoid years of pain and escape the “conveyor belt of chaos” that toxic relationships often become.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]

330. Riel - Pt 2 0f 2 Pts - Narcissistic Abuse Survivor: 20 Years of DARVO & Childhood Trauma

Content Warning & Disclaimer

This true story contains detailed accounts of emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and narcissistic abuse that began in childhood and continued into adulthood. It includes descriptions of prescription drug misuse, recreational drug abuse, failed suicide attempts, and completed suicides.

Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse, trauma, or those struggling with suicidal thoughts. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Throughout the interview, you’ll hear the term DARVO — a common manipulation tactic used by abusers. DARVO stands for:

 * Deny
 * Attack
 * Reverse Victim and Offender

It occurs when the abuser flips the script, making the victim believe they are the problem and positioning themselves as the victim. This powerful form of gaslighting is explained clearly during Riel’s powerful testimony.

When I sat down with Riel, I thought I understood the broad strokes of her story. What unfolded was far more shocking and complex than I anticipated. The layers of betrayal — not just from her long-term partner, but also from her own mother — were deeply disturbing and completely unexpected.

Riel survived 20 years in a toxic, chaotic relationship that should never have begun. Her story is a sobering reminder of how narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma can trap someone in a destructive cycle for decades.

Stories like Riel’s highlight critical warning signs of narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation. Recognizing these red flags early can help you or someone you love avoid years of pain and escape the “conveyor belt of chaos” that toxic relationships often become.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Host: Bill Mitchell

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon.



HELPFUL RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.thehotline.org/]

329. Riel - Pt 1 0f 2 Pts - Narcissistic Abuse Survivor: 20 Years of DARVO & Childhood Trauma

This episode contains descriptions of emotional abuse. It's not suitable for all audiences, especially those sensitive to themes of dating violence or domestic abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast focuses on authentic experiences without sensationalism. Our goal is to educate on the many forms of abuse in relationships to promote safer lives. We avoid judgments and encourage empathy for survivors navigating complex ups and downs.

Sarah Hanson's true story exposes the classic red flags of emotional and domestic abuse in a relationship—from early warning signs she ignored to escalating manipulative behaviors such as gaslighting.

The relationship she had with her partner helped her realize she had also had similar experiences emotionally dealing with her father when she was growing up at home.

This survivor account reveals how abusers groom, control, and manipulate.

Once free from her abuser, Sarah was able to reclaim her life and move on. She channeled her pain and recovery into a new book that has a release date of April 28, 2026. ⁠"Conjuring the Hurricane"⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Conjuring-Hurricane-Best-Save-Your/dp/1959694189/ref=sr_1_1?crid=YEOABKZ4GTHM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.eo8qYqveIFEKih_RbnvOl6Q4w3ATqHZ9yEVT0tOQM5oXxgYotKQUefRBiI-o-_CSQOnakis6OYqbByR5eJqSgToSo4_7MH64bpsGDX8bp55sXedBwEE0qgBLYD5tTBadc63DcC2dd9NasWUTALXPkcJhRwKdT7NCKsI0dQEJ8-dUDzifcH6zwBYGHEOy_PeU0hDDQrFH4CaW_cwGieUpVA.UdkGzRuwG8mG45yJyneJTA7lhGs5C80mDS7HO6IzL68&dib_tag=se&keywords=CONJURING+the+hurricane&qid=1774264890&sprefix=conjuring+the+hurricane%2Cspecialty-aps%2C125&sr=8-1] can be found at all major book outlets.

 * Key Insights on Abuser Tactics — Real-life examples of manipulation, love-bombing followed by devaluation, isolation, and post-separation abuse that many survivors face long after leaving.
 * Building Empathy & Awareness — A compassionate, blame-free exploration of the challenges domestic violence and narcissistic abuse survivors endure, ideal for anyone seeking to understand intimate partner violence.
 * In-Depth Multi-Part Series — This is Part 2 of 2, diving deep into Sarah's journey from an abusive relationship, through her escape, to the long road of healing and reclaiming her life.

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Mae's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

328. Sarah Hanson - Pt 2 of 2 - Love-Bombed, Isolated, and Reclaiming Power

This episode contains descriptions of emotional abuse. It's not suitable for all audiences, especially those sensitive to themes of dating violence or domestic abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast focuses on authentic experiences without sensationalism. Our goal is to educate on the many forms of abuse in relationships to promote safer lives. We avoid judgments and encourage empathy for survivors navigating complex ups and downs.

Sarah Hanson's true story exposes the classic red flags of emotional and domestic abuse in a relationship—from early warning signs she ignored to escalating manipulative behaviors such as gaslighting.

The relationship she had with her partner helped her realize she had also had similar experiences emotionally dealing with her father when she was growing up at home.

This survivor account reveals how abusers groom, control, and manipulate.

Once free from her abuser, Sarah was able to reclaim her life and move on. She channeled her pain and recovery into a new book that has a release date of April 28, 2026. "Conjuring the Hurricane" [https://www.amazon.com/Conjuring-Hurricane-Best-Save-Your/dp/1959694189/ref=sr_1_1?crid=YEOABKZ4GTHM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.eo8qYqveIFEKih_RbnvOl6Q4w3ATqHZ9yEVT0tOQM5oXxgYotKQUefRBiI-o-_CSQOnakis6OYqbByR5eJqSgToSo4_7MH64bpsGDX8bp55sXedBwEE0qgBLYD5tTBadc63DcC2dd9NasWUTALXPkcJhRwKdT7NCKsI0dQEJ8-dUDzifcH6zwBYGHEOy_PeU0hDDQrFH4CaW_cwGieUpVA.UdkGzRuwG8mG45yJyneJTA7lhGs5C80mDS7HO6IzL68&dib_tag=se&keywords=CONJURING+the+hurricane&qid=1774264890&sprefix=conjuring+the+hurricane%2Cspecialty-aps%2C125&sr=8-1] can be found at all major book outlets.

 * Key Insights on Abuser Tactics — Real-life examples of manipulation, love-bombing followed by devaluation, isolation, and post-separation abuse that many survivors face long after leaving.
 * Building Empathy & Awareness — A compassionate, blame-free exploration of the challenges domestic violence and narcissistic abuse survivors endure, ideal for anyone seeking to understand intimate partner violence.
 * In-Depth Multi-Part Series — This is Part 1 of 2, diving deep into Sarah's journey from an abusive relationship, through her escape, to the long road of healing and reclaiming her life.

If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Mae's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery.

Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help.

Are you a survivor ready to speak out?

Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast.

⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety.

Bill Mitchell

NOTE:

If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com]

The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1734253703/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1]

327. Sarah Hanson - Pt 1 of 2 - Love-Bombed, Isolated, and Reclaiming Power

A "must-listen-to" podcast on dating and domestic violence from Bill Mitchell, author of the memoir, WHEN DATING HURTS, which is about his daughter's murder by her ex-boyfriend.

Bill and his wife lost Kristin to dating violence when she was brutally killed in June 2005.  It was 20 days after her college graduation.

FACT:
1 in 3 WOMEN suffer serious physical violence at the hands of intimate partners during their lifetimes. Typically, it happens between 16-24 years of age.  But can happen at any age. And it doesn't need to happen.  

Bill interviews experts with keen insights into dating and domestic violence:
• "DV" agency counselors
• Law enforcement professionals
• Parents of children who were either lost to, or somehow survived, dating violence
• Actual survivors of domestic violence

After you listen to the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, share it with those who need to hear it... Remember the 1 in 3 women statistic.

WHEN DATING HURTS

Bill Mitchell's Show

We offer lifesaving information about dating and domestic violence. 

WHEN DATING HURTS. Bill Mitchell interviews experts (including survivors) on dating & domestic violence.







Bill Mitchell

Shows