In her new era marked by introspection and growth, Abbie shares her experience of embracing solitude during a period of unemployment. As she navigates this new chapter, filled with both challenges and opportunities, Abbie reflects on the deeper reasons behind her desire to travel and her adventurous multi-day hiking trips. Through candid reflections on setting and achieving goals, Abbie expresses her empowerment in her upcoming solo journeys and how she tackles her fears with courage and determination.

Abbie and Antonio discuss their life plans, embrace what the world has to offer, the importance of embracing life's offerings, forced and chosen solitude, solo travel, Abbie not seeing her therapist, feeling empowered, Antonio getting sick, quarantining, unemployment, setting big goals, and making active decisions to achieve those goals.

Ep 51: Solitude - Finding Transformation

Self-regulation is a skill that most of us aren’t taught. With different backgrounds, upbringings, and traumas, we have different ways of getting through the day. Some of us put pressure on our emotions, while others refuse to feel them. Whatever our defense mechanisms are, remembering to back yourself away from the cliff can be hard to remember in the moment, and even harder to practice. When we practice our ability to self-regulate, we practice trusting in ourselves.

When we need people, it can be difficult to open up. Being vulnerable can feel challenging, even with the people who care about us and want to be there for us. However, it’s that vulnerability that allows us to be closer to people, to be able to form deep connections, and to see our humanity within one another. It’s okay to be human. Pain shared is pain lightened; joy shared is joy heightened.

Abbie and Antonio discuss working on self-worth and confidence, overthinking in public scenarios, asking yourself how old you feel when triggered, relearning to self-regulate, putting pressure on emotions, body image issues, vulnerability, relating to others, adjusting expectations, and affirmations.

Ep 50: Stepping away from the Edge - Relating through Vulnerability

Being human can be quite the challenge. It can feel taxing to take care of our bodies by meeting our needs, especially when we are either unsure of what they are or not willing to fulfill them. It can feel overwhelming with the amount of needs we can have, ranging from basic needs to psychological and interpersonal needs. However, when we start with meeting our basic needs, it can easily become more and more manageable, finding that putting yourself first is critical to mental and emotional health.

In relationships, we have to balance both our own needs and our partners’ needs. It can be difficult when it seems like our partners’ desires or needs feel like the opposite of our own. Expressing your expectations of your partner can be a scary conversation. Society conditions us to feel like our love is earned and that if we have to ask for our needs then something’s wrong with us. Whether it’s doing the laundry or having sex after a date, discussing expectations go farther than what can feel possible.

Abbie and Antonio discuss meeting basic needs, expectations, sex, sex drive, the downfalls of viewing sex as currency, rejection, scarcity mindset, putting pressure on sex, shifting dynamics in a relationship, communication, and attachment.

Ep 49: Meeting Needs and Discussing Expectations - Nourishing the Body with Sex

It’s obvious that our lives would be different if we were the opposite sex. Society has us categorized into two different boxes, making us feel as if we cannot obtain what the other has. In some cases, this is true. From reproductive health to physiology and anatomy, one sex will not have the same experiences as the other. Albeit hard sometimes, we can fully lean into these aspects of our bodies. And other times, we can share our experiences and recognize that we have very similar feelings and experiences with just different outcomes.

Antonio and Abbie discussed the pros and cons, journey, and expectations of having a male or female body, family gossip and drama, choosing a male or female therapist, male role models and lack thereof, jealousy of the other sex’s body, birth control, and insecurities and societal pressures for each sex.

Ep 48: Opposite Sex, Similar Experience - Sharing our Experiences in our Bodies

Each of us are a piece of art, and we are our own artist. We put a lot of time and energy into making the best piece that we can. From learning new techniques, gaining inspiration from other artist, and wanting to hone our craft, we put a lot of time and effort into our canvas. Because of this, we can sometimes forget how incredible our art is. The artist will always be able to see all of the flaws that go into any art they create. However, just because the artist sees all the flaws doesn’t mean that the art can’t be perceived, appreciated, and loved by the world.

Abbie Antonio discuss priorities, art, self-love, complementing friends, perception, feeling sexualized, and sharing honest emotions and love.

Ep 47: Appreciating the Art We Are - Enough is Enough

Dating can be very confusing. But understanding why you’re dating and what you want in a partner can prove even more difficult. Finding someone that meets your values, you find interesting, and that you care about with similar feelings about you can seem rare or even like a fairy tale. However, consciously dating is rewarding when things shake out with someone, feeling truly connected to someone and not just landing in a relationship. It takes hard work, internally and interpersonally, but you will find a dynamic that feels like no other.

Abbie and Antonio discuss queer women flirting, why we like someone, what we want in a partner, consciously dating, the sliding scale of relationships, making friends out in the wild, learning how to hang out with friends, Abbie exploring her body through art, art as a whole, the creative process, reoccurring nightmares, and feeling safe.

Ep 46: Consciously Dating - Exploring Your Body through Nudes and Art

Dreams can manifest in a variety of ways. Some dreams can be fun and freeing, exploring what’s beyond the rational world. Other dreams can be meant for processing feelings and emotions. The overlap between these types of dreams can be greater and more common than we think. Dreams can tell a lot of what’s currently happening in our subconscious. If we are stressed about meeting a deadline, we can have a stress dream of not turning in a high school paper on time. If we care deeply about someone, we can have a sex dream of them. What happens in our dreams can be more telling than we give them credit. All we have to do is feel.

Abbie and Antonio discuss the holidays, seeing friends and family, children in our daily lives, perceptions of kids, dreams and nightmares, themes in those dreams, meeting a partner’s community, intimately connecting with new people, processing issues with our community, trusting partners, S.M.A.R.T. goals, and making big decisions.

Ep 45: Processing beyond Reality - Cultivating Connection and Community

Like most things in life, mental health is not a linear path. There are ups and downs, twists and turns. But we expect ourselves to only get “better” as time goes on. We think that once we “learn” something, we can’t experience that pain or struggle again, beating ourselves over not being better. We forget that we would never ask a friend to just “be better,” so why do we expect ourselves to do that?

Abbie and Antonio discuss inconsistently taking medication, mental health (a lot), anxiety, depression, physical sensations related to emotions, taking credit for your own work, self compassion, throwing away used condoms, internalized homophobia, the holidays, and in general just slowly becoming unhinged by life. (I promise we’re doing okay; we just like to be dramatic on occasion.)

Ep 44.5: Unmedicated, Unregulated, and Depressed - Practicing Self Compassion while Anxious

As the year wraps up, it’s typically the time to reflect on what this year has brought. Some of us take pride in the work we accomplished. Some of us find out what songs and artists we had on repeat. But on this episode, we go over the numbers on Abbie’s dating life.

Abbie and Antonio hilariously discuss Abbie’s dating wrapped, the birth order affect, the root of Abbie’s que and submissive tendencies, and gay younger brothers.

Ep 44: Hot and Hilarious - Not Your Spotify Wrapped

Self-worth is the intrinsic value and respect a person holds for themself, independent of external validation. It's recognizing your abilities, embracing imperfections, and acknowledging that you deserve happiness and fulfillment in various aspects of life.

Big emotions, whether positive or negative, can significantly impact self-worth. Positive emotions, like success, may bolster confidence, while negative emotions, such as failure or criticism, can challenge it. It's crucial to navigate these emotions with resilience, understanding that setbacks don't define your worth, and self-compassion is key in maintaining a healthy sense of self.

Self-worth plays a pivotal role in interpersonal relationships. A healthy sense of self-worth enables individuals to establish boundaries, communicate effectively, and cultivate fulfilling connections. In contrast, low self-worth may lead to seeking validation from others, difficulty setting boundaries, or feeling unworthy of healthy relationships. So in order to have more satisfying and mutually respectful interactions with others, it’s incredibly important to build and maintain a positive self-image and practice regulating emotions.

Abbie and Antonio discuss core values, crushes, festivals, partners, anxious attachment, emotions, the one penis policy, insecurities, double standards, spooning dogs, and self-worth.

Ep 43: Self-Worth & Big Emotions - The One Penis Policy

Being an ethical slut takes work. Practicing open communication, empathy, and vulnerability is hard, especially when we come from different backgrounds. We all seek connection and love, and it can be tough to find partners who support and care for us in healthy ways. What works for one person may not work for another, as there is no one-size-fits-all solution. In this podcast, Therapy Thots, Abbie and Antonio discuss the challenges they've faced and how they've worked to overcome them, covering topics such as sexuality and mental health.

Therapy Thots

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