This week, take a trip with Dan and Maureen to the weirdest cruise route (currently) in the world. Also, let’s talk writing! And why everyone has to get really drunk to be around Trump. And how there’s a war but it’s not a war and it’s won already but it’s about to start except it is over and the Strait of Hormuz is completely open but we’ve closed it and Iran has closed it and there’s a ceasefire and there is bombing and it will all be settled soon by America’s Failsons. So don’t worry.

Meet you on the Lido Deck, SaysWhovia!

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CRUISE THE HORMUZ

Dan and Maureen have a new home! They just need to legally buy it and move in, but it is theirs. Dan is going to become a Druid and Maureen is going to make food and write spells. 

Why not? 

After all, this week: JD Vance destroyed the hopes of the Hungarian far-right and then tanked talks with Iran while Donald Trump watched a cage match. Donald Trump turned himself into Jesus and decided to fight the Chicago Pope. Then he got McDonald’s fake delivered.

So yeah. We’re all going to the Misty Mountains. Grab a staff, SaysWhovia. It’s time for Magick.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

YOU GOT VANCED

Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House, and the power of commenting online.

Considering the week we've all had, it’s actually pretty positive.

Don’t give up, SaysWhovia. Come dance with us. You’ve got the music in you.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999

Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know.

Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE

How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried.

Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea.

Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

A JAR IN A SKIRT

What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot!

Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going to talk about Trump’s weird shoe thing.

Step inside, SaysWhovia! The shoe might not fit, but wear it anyway!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

SHOES, YOU LOSE!

Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey.

This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

THE SECOND GUY AND THE THIRD GUY

Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness,  arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn.  The UK is full of intrigue!

Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***?

Get cozy under this blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s story time!
 

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

ONE LITTLE PEPPERCORN

It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks. 

Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparently, does Pam Bondi.

Also, these aren't bright people and things got out of hand.

Quick, get the balloons, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

WHAT THE *&@$ HAPPENED TO PAM

Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too many!

Speaking of too many—there are too many Epstein files and too many terrible things in them, but in some places, like the UK, they matter! And things are happening. Lots of things. Lots of things are still happening in Minneapolis as well—and in other places.

But never mind all of that! Trump is mad about the Super Bowl.

Gather ye ducks, SaysWhovia. Gather ye ducks!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho [https://www.patreon.com/sayswho]

TOO MANY DUCKS

In 2016, two friends—and author and a journalist--sat down to ride through the final weeks of the Presidential election by talking to the journalists covering it. They thought they were doing eight episodes. They were wrong. What started as a short trip has become a long and strange journey. They’ve gotten weird. They’ve made friends along the way. Mostly, the weird part, though. Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Maureen Johnson, and legendary publisher of Punk Planet Magazine Dan Sinker as they digest the news each week. Says Who: it’s not a podcast—it’s a coping strategy.

Dan Sinker

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