In this heartfelt episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Jessica Meyer, a bereaved sibling who lost her younger sister, Jen, to fentanyl addiction in 2021. Jessica opens up about the deep bond they shared growing up in a tight-knit Mexican-Jewish family and how addiction slowly dismantled their lives.

Jen was so much more than her addiction—an empathetic, talented athlete and the life of every room she entered. Jessica walks us through Jen’s undiagnosed Tourette’s and ADHD, how she began self-medicating with Ambien as a teenager, and how this evolved into decades of addiction, multiple rehabs, and painful relapses. Jen later found purpose helping others through recovery—but her battle with addiction continued in secret.

Jessica shares the heartbreaking story of Jen’s final days, her passing just 48 hours after her daughter left for college, and the raw aftermath of losing her lifelong best friend. She also reveals the shocking discovery of a drug trafficking ring tied to Jen’s death, her fight for justice, and the family’s grief journey that followed.

This powerful episode is an unflinching look at sibling loss through addiction and the devastating reality of fentanyl-related deaths. Jessica’s vulnerability, courage, and passion to honor Jen’s legacy through her jewelry brand, Bullet Girl, is a tribute to both pain and purpose.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Jessica & Jen's Bond Jessica shares their close-knit childhood, imaginative games, and growing up inseparable in a loving family.

(00:03:00) – Early Signs: Tourette's, ADHD & Ambien Use Jen’s tics and impulsivity went undiagnosed for years. Ambien use in her teens became the beginning of her addiction journey.

(00:08:00) – The Beginnings of Addiction Jessica reflects on Jen’s coping mechanisms, her early experimentation, and how recreational use escalated.

(00:12:00) – College, Trauma, and First Rehab Jen’s assault trauma, college struggles, and introduction to harder drugs like crystal meth and cocaine are revealed.

(00:19:00) – Marriage, Motherhood, and Addiction’s Grip Despite marrying and becoming a mom, Jen’s addiction deepened—leading to lost custody and deteriorating health.

(00:24:00) – Boundaries, Guilt, and Tough Love Jessica painfully discusses the limits she had to set and the guilt of choosing distance the week before Jen passed.

(00:28:00) – Jen’s Role Helping Others in Recovery Jen found strength in working at a rehab center—offering guidance to others, even as she privately relapsed.

(00:33:00) – The Day Jen Passed Jessica walks us through the traumatic discovery of Jen’s body, the heartbreaking final hug, and the unanswered questions.

(00:41:00) – Toxicology, Fentanyl, and Black Tar Heroin Jessica shares her detective work uncovering her sister’s fentanyl use, her dealer’s identity, and how evidence led nowhere.

(00:49:00) – Justice Denied: The Aftermath Despite a paper trail and drug dealer identification, no legal justice has been served for Jen’s death—fueling the family’s heartbreak.

(00:56:00) – Shame, Stigma, and Speaking Out Jessica talks about the stigma of fentanyl deaths, public silence, and the pain of people not seeing Jen beyond her addiction.

(01:01:00) – Bullet Girl Jewelry & The Beautiful Struggle Jessica shares the story behind her jewelry line, the letter Jen wrote her, and the upcoming tribute collection called The Beautiful Struggle.

(01:07:00) – Advice for Grieving Siblings Jessica urges listeners to give themselves grace, avoid shame, and stay grounded in love—not fear—through the grief journey

This episode is sponsored by Bullet Girl Jewelry 

Connect with Jessica: 

Jessica Loses Jen To Addiction

In this deeply honest and heartfelt episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down with LeAnn Sullivan, a bereaved sister who lost her brother Michael to addiction in 2016. LeAnn shares her powerful story of love, loss, resilience, and healing after years of navigating a complicated family dynamic, her brother’s addiction, and her own journey through grief.

Growing up with divorced parents and facing early separation from Michael, LeAnn always saw herself as his protector. Despite their time apart, they reconnected as young adults, building a bond that helped them raise their respective children together and create a deeply rooted sibling relationship. When Michael passed away unexpectedly, LeAnn’s world crumbled. But in the years since, she has turned her pain into purpose—becoming an advocate for families affected by addiction and a board member of the Shevlin Family Foundation.

This episode explores the complexity of sibling grief after addiction, the layers of family trauma, and the power of transforming pain into community and service. LeAnn’s story is one of loss, but also of light—a testament to what it means to survive, heal, and honor a sibling’s legacy.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – LeAnn’s Early Life & Separation from Michael (00:03:00) – Reconnecting as Adults & Becoming a Team (00:08:00) – The Call That Changed Everything (00:10:00) – The Physical Pain of Loss & Funeral Experience (00:14:00) – Returning to Work Amidst Grief (00:17:00) – Helping Her Son Through Grief & Recovery (00:21:00) – Family Strain and the Power of Support (00:24:00) – Michael’s Addiction, Relapse & Fentanyl Crisis (00:27:00) – The Stigma of Addiction and Sharing the Truth (00:29:00) – A Turning Point: Losing Her Job & Finding Healing (00:31:00) – Creating Bowl for Hope & Meeting Christine

This episode is sponsored by The Shevlin Family Foundation 

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction help is available. Please reach out to a professional or call your local crisis line. You are never alone

More About The Shevlin Family Foundation: 

 * Website: https://shevlinfamilyfoundation.org/

 * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shevlinfamilyfoundation/

 * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shevfamilyfoundation/# [https://www.instagram.com/shevfamilyfoundation/]

 * Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/shevlin-family-foundation/

 

Connect with LeeAnn: 

 * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delcosrealtor

Connect with Maya:

 * Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

 * Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

 * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

LeeAnn Loses Michael To Addiction 

In this raw and profoundly moving episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler sits down with Jen, a bereaved sibling who lost her brother Teddy to suicide in 2017. Jen and Teddy shared an incredibly close bond, growing up as part of a large Sicilian family just outside of Boston. But their story begins even earlier—Teddy was a micro-preemie twin who survived against all odds, unknowingly carrying deep grief for his twin, Joseph, who died shortly after birth.

Jen opens up about the fierce sibling connection they shared, their upbringing in a culture that didn’t talk about emotions, and the invisible scars Teddy carried after a childhood marked by severe bullying, trauma, and being misunderstood. Despite his vibrant, goofy, and deeply caring personality, Teddy struggled silently with mental health throughout his life.

This episode explores the reality of surviving sibling suicide, the hidden pain many carry, and the complex journey of grief, guilt, and healing. Jen shares how she only began to process her loss years later during the pandemic and how therapy has helped her reframe her survivor’s guilt and begin to find peace. She also reflects on the final moments, the call that changed everything, and the weight of not getting to say goodbye.

If you’ve ever felt the heartbreak of suicide loss, struggled with survivor’s guilt, or longed for healing in a family that doesn’t talk about grief—Jen’s story will show you that you are not alone, and your voice matters.

In This Episode:

(00:01:09) – Growing Up Sicilian Jen describes her “free-range childhood” and the powerful, chaotic closeness of growing up in a big Sicilian family, where cousins felt like siblings.

(00:02:31) – Teddy’s Early Arrival & Twin Loss Teddy was born four months premature in 1975. His twin, Joseph, passed away shortly after birth—a fact Jen discovered years later on her own.

(00:06:00) – Protector & Big Sister From defending Teddy against bullies to enduring the silence of their home life, Jen shares what it meant to be the older sister in a family that didn’t talk about pain.

(00:12:00) – School, Stereotypes & Sibling Comparisons Jen reflects on how academic pressure, comparison, and cultural expectations shaped both her and Teddy in very different ways.

(00:15:22) – Therapy & Rewriting the Narrative A family photo once filled with shame becomes a moment of healing thanks to therapy—Jen discusses the power of reframing grief and guilt.

(00:19:00) – Discovering Teddy’s Twinhood Jen recalls the moment she discovered Teddy was a surviving twin and the emotional weight of finding a note he once wrote to God, asking if his brother was safe in heaven.

(00:22:00) – 2017: The Year Everything Changed After losing his beloved grandmother and a close friend, Teddy's grief deepened. Jen shares how she never saw the signs of his declining mental health.

(00:26:00) – A Life of Trauma and Suppression From childhood bullying to a near-institutionalization as a teen, Jen uncovers the deep traumas Teddy endured—and how their family culture of silence kept him from healing.

(00:30:00) – Teddy’s First Suicide Attempt In 2003, Teddy survived a suicide attempt on Boston’s Tobin Bridge. Jen recounts the hospital call that changed everything—and how the stigma around mental health silenced the conversation for years.

(00:32:00) – Saying Goodbye Was Not Easy Jen discusses the complicated decisions her family made after Teddy’s death, the tension surrounding his service, and the 400 people who came to say goodbye.

(00:35:00) – The Call That Changed Everything Jen shares the moment she learned of Teddy’s death—and how her family’s avoidance of grief left her in prolonged shock for nearly three years.

<

Jen Loses Teddy To Suicide

In this heartfelt episode of the Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Cryssy, a bereaved sibling who lost her younger sister, Danielle, to acute myeloid leukemia in 2012. As the oldest sibling, Cryssy took on the role of protector, caregiver, and advocate—navigating the heartbreak of watching her sister battle a devastating illness.

Cryssy shares her deeply personal journey of anticipatory grief, the pain of losing Danielle at just 21 years old, and the complex emotions of grieving while trying to stay strong for her family. She opens up about the regret of not getting to say goodbye the way she wanted, the physical toll grief took on her body, and the creative, meaningful ways she keeps Danielle’s memory alive every day.

This episode is a powerful conversation about sibling loss, anticipatory grief, and finding purpose after tragedy. Cryssy also shares how honoring her sister through traditions, a beloved stuffed animal, and small daily acts has helped her heal—and how grief can manifest physically in ways we might never expect.

If you’ve ever felt the weight of grieving a sibling while being the “strong one” for others, Cryssy’s story will remind you that love endures, even through the pain.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Danielle: A Birthday Gift Sister Cryssy shares how Danielle was born just two days before her own birthday, how they celebrated together, and how their sibling bond was filled with love, chaos, and laughter.

(00:04:00) – Big Sister, Protector, Mama Bear Growing up as the oldest, Cryssy stepped into a protective role, helping raise Danielle and their brother, shielding them, and taking on family responsibilities from a young age.

(00:05:00) – The Call That Changed Everything Cryssy recounts the moment she learned Danielle was being rushed to the hospital after a bloody nose turned into a leukemia diagnosis—and how she instantly began grieving.

(00:08:00) – Facing Acute Myeloid Leukemia Cryssy explains Danielle’s diagnosis, the aggressive treatment process, and how she tried to stay hopeful on the outside while preparing herself internally for the worst.

(00:11:00) – Holidays in the Hospital Danielle asked Cryssy to decorate her hospital room for Halloween and Christmas—keeping their family traditions alive despite spending their favorite holidays in a hospital room.

(00:14:00) – The Final Christmas Together Cryssy reflects on their last Christmas, staying up all night talking, exchanging meaningful gifts, and creating treasured memories in what would be Danielle’s final holiday.

(00:19:00) – Saying Goodbye Without Words Cryssy shares the experience of Danielle’s “surge” before passing, the bittersweet final days, and the deep regret of not being able to say goodbye the way she had hoped.

(00:24:00) – Preparing Danielle’s Goodbye Honoring her sister’s love of style, Cryssy lovingly prepared Danielle for her viewing—painting her nails, doing her hair, dressing her in jewelry, and ensuring she looked radiant.

(00:31:00) – A Dream Visit From Danielle Months after Danielle’s passing, Cryssy had a vivid dream of Danielle smiling and telling her, “It’s okay to be okay”—a powerful, healing moment that brought her comfort.

(00:37:00) – Grief’s Physical Impact Cryssy opens up about how her grief manifested in physical illness, leading to hospitalization, sepsis, and a near-death experience that she believes Danielle helped her survive.

(00:48:00) – Finding Purpose in Grief Cryssy reflects on how grief has shaped her purpose, giving her strength to help others and reminding her that grief is love in a different form.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings 

Connect with Cryssy: 

Cryssy Loses Danielle To Leukemia 

Maya is joined by Stephanie Murphy, who bravely shares the heartbreaking story of losing her younger brother, Quentin, to a tragic car accident in 2001 when he was just 18 years old.

Stephanie opens up about their sibling bond, the fight that led to their last conversation, and the devastating night she learned her brother was gone. She shares how grief collided with unexpected motherhood, her battle with anxiety and alcohol, and how she found strength to heal—leading to nine years of sobriety and honoring Quentin’s memory every step of the way.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Sibling Dynamics: From Rivalry to Best Friends Stephanie reflects on growing up as the oldest sibling, her playful (and sometimes bossy) relationship with Quentin, and how their bond deepened during their high school years.

(00:04:00) – An Ambitious Young Man with Big Dreams She shares how Quentin’s drive and charisma made him stand out—working multiple jobs, managing at Chick-fil-A, buying his dream car, and planning for a future in business.

(00:07:00) – The Fight That Changed Everything Stephanie recounts the emotional last conversation she had with Quentin after a disagreement over her relationship—and how that moment became their final goodbye.

(00:11:00) – Missing His Graduation & Growing Distance Stephanie talks about missing Quentin’s graduation due to work, the lingering family tensions, and sending a heartfelt letter in hopes of reconciling.

(00:15:00) – “I Just Want to Cry…” The Night Before She describes the overwhelming emotions and strange premonition she felt the night before Quentin’s accident—a deep knowing that something was wrong.

(00:18:00) – The Knock at 4 AM: News No One Ever Wants Stephanie relives the devastating moment her mother arrived at her door to tell her that Quentin had died in a car accident—and how her world shattered in an instant.

(00:23:00) – Finding the Unopened Letter While grieving at her parents’ house, Stephanie finds the card and letter she had sent Quentin—still sealed. She opens it at his funeral, turning it into a final tribute.

(00:26:00) – What Happened That Night: The Truth About the Accident Stephanie shares what Quentin’s friend—who survived the crash—revealed about the events leading up to the accident, including alcohol, missed exits, and heartbreaking what-ifs.

(00:33:00) – Grieving While Pregnant & The Anxiety That Followed Stephanie opens up about navigating grief while expecting her first child, the overwhelming anxiety that took hold, and how she struggled to find normalcy after loss.

(00:38:00) – Turning to Alcohol: Numbing the Pain She discusses how grief and family history led her down a path of alcohol dependence—and how it became a coping mechanism for years.

(00:40:00) – The Day Everything Changed: Choosing Sobriety On the anniversary of Quentin’s death in 2015, Stephanie made a life-altering decision. She shares what led to her nine years (and counting) of sobriety.

(00:49:00) – Learning to Live Without Fear Stephanie reflects on how grief made her fear every phone call, every tragedy, and how she’s worked to regain peace—especially as a mother.

(00:57:00) – Signs, Dreams & Spiritual Connection From vivid dreams to her son being born on Quentin’s birthday, Stephanie shares the powerful ways her brother continues to show up in her life.

(01:03:00) – Acceptance, Growth & Honoring Quentin Stephanie discusses how she’s learned to live with grief, why healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and how she continues to make her brother proud.

(01:08:00) – Advice for Surviving Siblings Stephanie offers heartfelt wisdom for those navigating sibling loss—reminding us that while grief never fully leaves, we can cho

Stephanie Loses Quentin To A Car Accident

Maya is joined by Dr. Parul Dua Makkar—dentist, grief coach, speaker, and author—who shares the heartbreaking journey of losing her only sibling, Manu, to oral cancer at just 34 years old. 

Parul opens up about the moment she knew something wasn’t right, the delays in diagnosis, what it was like navigating end-of-life care during the height of COVID-19, and how her grief transformed into a powerful mission. She also shares the legacy Manu left behind—his book Life Interrupted, a powerful collection of essays he wrote during his final months, which Parul helped complete and publish after his passing.

In This Episode:

(00:01:00) – Sibling Bond, Eight Years Apart Parul shares what it was like being a big sister to Manu—changing his diapers, watching him grow up, and how their love for dentistry helped them stay connected despite distance.

(00:04:00) – Global Nomads & Deep Connections Raised across continents, Parul and Manu lived in different countries for most of their lives, but their bond stayed strong through regular visits, daily calls, and shared professional passions.

(00:08:00) – “This Might Be Cancer…” Parul recalls the moment she saw the lesion in her brother’s mouth.

(00:10:00) – The First Surgery & Fighting Back Manu underwent an eight-hour surgery to remove half his tongue, and despite it all, came back stronger—treating patients, traveling, buying a dog (named Maya), and embracing life with a new sense of urgency.

(00:14:00) – COVID, Cancer & Compassion Release When the cancer returned in 2020, Parul had to fight to cross the U.S.-Canada border during COVID lockdowns. She shares the emotional story of writing her father a letter, asking for permission to say goodbye.

(00:20:00) – “You Can Let Go…” On a video call, Parul tells her brother it’s okay to stop fighting. He passes away just hours later. She arrives in Canada to plan his funeral—grieving, and still under COVID restrictions.

(00:24:00) – Loss Upon Loss Parul shares how, just three years later, she lost her father unexpectedly to cardiac arrest—just after Thanksgiving. She reflects on how it felt like her dad died of a broken heart.

(00:30:00) – Oral Cancer Awareness & Early Detection As a dentist, Parul explains why oral cancer is often caught too late, how misdiagnosis happens, and what signs everyone should look for. She encourages early biopsies and routine checkups.

(00:34:00) – Turning Grief into Purpose After Manu’s passing, Parul completed and published his book, Life Interrupted, which he had begun writing during treatment. She shares how publishing his words brought her healing and closure.

This episode was sponsored by Duagoodjob. 

Connect with Parul:  

 * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PDMFamilyDental

 * Website: http://duagoodjob.com

 * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-parul-dua-makkar-bsc-dds-facd-375324145/

 * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duagoodjob [https://www.instagram.com/duagoodjob/]

 * Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv46meC0Q0pwqTg8YD43-TA

Connect with Maya:

 * Podcast Instagram

Parul Loses Manu To Oral Cancer

In this deeply emotional episode of The Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Kayla, a bereaved sibling who lost her baby sister, Ashley, in a tragic and unexpected medical event in 2006. At just eleven years old, Kayla’s world changed forever when her one-and-a-half-year-old sister suddenly stopped breathing—an event that would later be revealed as a preventable tragedy.

Kayla opens up about the deep bond she shared with Ashley, the impact of her sister’s passing on their entire family, and how grief shaped her childhood, teenage years, and adulthood. She shares the devastating realization that Ashley’s death was caused by a misdiagnosed medical condition and how the hospital’s oversight led to a prolonged struggle for answers and justice.

This episode explores the complexities of grieving at a young age, how Kayla’s family navigated immense loss, and the lifelong journey of healing. Kayla also discusses the anxiety and trauma that followed, the lasting effects of sibling loss, and how she has found strength in sharing her story for the first time.

If you’ve ever experienced loss at a young age or struggled to process grief over the years, Kayla’s story will remind you that healing is possible, and you are not alone.

In This Episode:

(00:01:09) – The Role of a Big Sister Kayla reflects on growing up as the oldest sibling and the deep love she had for her younger sisters, Mia and Ashley.

(00:02:41) – When Ashley Got Sick Kayla recalls the months leading up to Ashley’s passing, the concerning symptoms, and the repeated hospital visits where doctors misdiagnosed her condition.

(00:06:20) – The Day That Changed Everything Kayla describes the morning she learned about Ashley’s passing and the shock of hearing the news from her father and stepmother.

(00:12:00) – Attending School the Next Day Despite the tragedy, Kayla insisted on going to school, determined to maintain her perfect attendance and a sense of normalcy in the chaos of grief.

(00:15:22) – Ashley’s Funeral Kayla shares the surreal experience of attending her sister’s funeral, seeing Ashley one last time, and the heartbreaking traditions her family developed to honor her memory.

(00:18:00) – The Truth Behind Ashley’s Passing Weeks later, the autopsy revealed that Ashley had been choking on a peanut for months—something doctors had missed in her chest x-ray. 

(00:22:30) – The Aftermath: Lawsuits & Family Divides Kayla details how the misdiagnosis led to legal action against the hospital, the ripple effects it had on her family, and how relationships were fractured as blame and guilt took over.

(00:35:00) – The Long-Term Impact of Grief Kayla discusses how losing Ashley at such a young age led to severe anxiety, control issues, and the fear of losing loved ones, as well as how therapy and medication have helped her manage these struggles.

(00:47:00) – Healing & Moving Forward Years later, Kayla’s family has slowly started to mend. She shares how her father overcame addiction, her stepmother found ways to honor Ashley, and how she has learned to navigate life after loss.

(00:56:00) – Advice for Young Bereaved Siblings Kayla reflects on what she would tell her younger self and encourages others to allow themselves to grieve, seek support, and embrace the healing process.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings 

Connect with Kayla: 

 * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kayla.updike?mibextid=ZbWKwL

 * Instagram:

Kayla Loses Ashley To Choking 

In this heartfelt episode of the Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Elliet, a bereaved sibling who lost their younger brother, Dylan, in a tragic four-wheeling accident in 2003. At just eight years old, Elliet’s world was turned upside down when their best friend and only sibling was suddenly gone.

Elliet shares their deeply personal journey of navigating grief as a child, how their parents' loss impacted the entire family dynamic, and the emotional weight of growing up as a surviving sibling. They open up about the lasting effects of guilt, the struggle of answering the dreaded "Do you have any siblings?" question, and how they’ve finally found peace and healing—20+ years later.

This episode is a powerful conversation about sibling loss, the lifelong journey of grief, and the importance of self-discovery, therapy, and community support. Elliet also shares their experience of coming out as transgender and how it intersected with their grief journey, adding another layer of resilience to their incredible story.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to carry the weight of grief alone, Elliet’s story will remind you that you’re not alone. 

In This Episode:

(00:01:09) – Dylan: A Best Friend & Sidekick Elliet reflects on their childhood, growing up extremely close with Dylan, and the unique bond they shared as only siblings.

(00:02:31) – The Day That Changed Everything Elliet recounts the last time they saw Dylan before the tragic accident and the gut feeling they couldn’t shake.

(00:12:30) – The Moment of Realization Elliet describes the instant their world shattered and how they found out their brother was gone.

(00:16:10) – Grieving as a Child Navigating grief at eight years old, dealing with unanswered questions, and feeling the weight of loss in an unexplainable way.

(00:32:00) – Becoming the "Perfect" Child Elliet shares how they tried to make life easier for their parents, suppressing their own grief to avoid adding to their pain.

(00:42:39) – Finding Therapy & Self-Discovery After years of struggling, Elliet opens up about how therapy, personal growth, and embracing their identity have led them toward healing.

(00:50:54) – The 20-Year Milestone & Coming Out Elliet shares how the 20-year anniversary of Dylan’s passing coincided with their decision to come out as transgender, and how it deeply affected their relationship with family.

(01:01:06) – The Truth About Grief Why grief never disappears—but instead, we grow around it.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings 

Connect with Elliet: 

 * Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@littlemouseling18

Connect with Maya:

 * Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

 * Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/

 * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast

 * Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod

 * Website:

Elliet Loses Dylan To A 4-Wheeling Accident 

In this deeply emotional episode of the Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Jessica Kueck, a bereaved sibling who courageously shares the heartbreaking story of losing her younger brother, Aaron, at just three years old in a tragic drowning accident. Jessica was only 11 when her world was turned upside down, and she reflects on how this loss shaped her childhood, mental health, and journey into adulthood.

Jessica opens up about the intense grief her family endured, particularly the profound impact it had on her mother and father. She shares how growing up in a home marked by sorrow and trauma affected her perspective on life, anxiety, and relationships. Now a mother herself, Jessica talks about how she navigates parenting while consciously working to break the cycle of generational trauma and honor Aaron’s memory in a way that fosters healing and growth.

In This Episode:

(0:01:18) - Growing Up as the Oldest Sibling Jessica describes her family dynamic, being the oldest of three siblings, and the deep love and admiration her family had for Aaron, their miracle baby.

(0:02:13) - A Tragic Day in Arizona Jessica recalls the road trip with her mother, siblings, and family friends that led to the devastating moment when Aaron drowned at their condo’s community pool.

(0:06:22) - The Immediate Aftermath Jessica shares the harrowing moments of calling her father, witnessing the chaos at the pool, and the tragic realization at the hospital that Aaron was gone.

(0:15:38) - The Funeral and Shiva Jessica reflects on the Jewish traditions of mourning, including Shiva, and how the week of support gave temporary solace to her grieving mother.

(0:21:50) - Anxiety and Hypervigilance After Loss Jessica discusses how losing Aaron as a child shaped her anxiety, causing her to catastrophize everyday situations and always anticipate the worst.

(0:40:12) - Motherhood and Breaking the Cycle Jessica shares how becoming a mother forced her to confront her childhood trauma, and how she actively works to ensure her daughter doesn’t inherit the same fears and anxieties.

(0:46:21) - Finding Healing and Hope Jessica talks about her journey with therapy, medication, and mindfulness practices that have helped her manage her anxiety and live a more present and peaceful life.

(1:02:00) - Advice for Those Who Lost a Sibling Young Jessica offers heartfelt advice for siblings who lost their brother or sister as children, discussing how to navigate grief, honor their sibling, and create a life that fosters healing.

This episode is a poignant reminder that grief is a lifelong journey, but healing and transformation are possible. Jessica’s story is one of strength, awareness, and breaking cycles to build a healthier future for herself and her family.

This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings. 

Connect with Jessica: 

 * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.kueck86/

 * Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicakueck/

 * Email: jessica.r.kueck@gmail.com

 

Connect with Maya:

 * Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/

 * 

Jessica Loses Aaron To Drowning

In this deeply moving episode of the Surviving Siblings Podcast, host Maya Roffler welcomes Michelle Tobin, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, therapist, and author, who shares her emotional journey of losing her brother Patrick in a devastating plane crash. Michelle reflects on the lasting impact of this loss, how it shaped her career in mental health, and the unexpected ways grief has woven itself into her life’s work. She opens up about trauma, healing, and the importance of finding outlets for grief, including writing, physical movement, and faith.

Michelle’s story is one of resilience, personal transformation, and hope as she discusses how she carried her brother’s memory with her for 50 years, culminating in the release of her novel, Home for the Bewildered. This powerful episode offers insight and comfort for anyone navigating sibling loss and seeking ways to move forward while keeping their loved ones close.

In This Episode:

(0:01:18) - Growing Up in a Large Family Michelle paints a picture of her family dynamics, growing up as one of twelve children, and the deep admiration she had for her older brother Patrick.

(0:04:36) - The Night of the Tragedy Michelle recounts the eerie feeling she and her sister had the night before Thanksgiving, followed by the heartbreaking moment they learned of Patrick’s passing.

(0:06:28) - Processing Grief as a Teenager Michelle reflects on the immediate aftermath of Patrick’s passing, the difficulties of not having closure due to a closed casket, and how grief was handled in her family during the 1970s.

(0:14:53) - The Five-Year Mark and a Divine Intervention Michelle shares the moment she experienced a divine intervention, a turning point in her healing journey, and how she found solace through swimming and faith.

(0:21:12) - The Importance of Physical Outlets for Grief Maya and Michelle discuss how physical activity, whether it be swimming, running, or walking, can serve as a powerful release for trauma and emotional pain.

(0:27:17) - Giving Yourself Grace in the Grieving Process Michelle emphasizes the importance of allowing yourself to grieve in your own way, shutting out societal pressures, and leaning into people who offer true support.

(0:46:21) - Writing Home for the Bewildered 50 Years Later Michelle discusses how her novel was inspired by her brother’s death and the themes of grief, trauma, and healing embedded in her writing. She also explains the significance of setting the novel in 1974, the year Patrick passed away.

(0:50:56) - Where to Find Michelle’s Book Michelle shares how listeners can purchase Home for the Bewildered directly from Vine Leaves Press and connect with her through her website and social media.

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of loss, resilience, and finding light after tragedy. Michelle’s story is a testament to the power of healing, self-discovery, and embracing hope, no matter how many years have passed.

This episode is sponsored by Home for the Bewildered written by Michelle Tobin. 

Connect with Michelle: 

 * Website: https://www.michelle-tobin.com/

 * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle57writes

 * Tik Tok: @michelletobin7

 * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088688944743

 * Purchase Her

Michelle Loses Pat To A Plane Crash 

This is a show where I share my journey about losing my brother. I realized after losing him in 2016 to a homicide and struggling for years after that there is little to no support for surviving siblings. We are expected to lose our parents and grandparents so naturally there are resources for those losses. When parents lose a child, that is one of the most tragic things that can happen and there are resources. But what happens to siblings? What happens to those of us who lose our brothers and sisters? We are deeply affected and impacted. Yet, hardly anyone talks about this topic. In the past five years, I have found half a dozen books and only one support group. I still miss my brother everyday. We don't expect to lose our siblings as we expect to go through life with them, not without them. This podcast is for you whether you have lost a brother or sister or if you are wanting to understand and support someone who has. I also dedicate this podcast to my brother, Andreas, as he was never afraid to speak his truth and tell his story. Now, I will be sharing my story of loss as a surviving sibling with you. I will also have incredible guests on the show to share their experiences as well. I hope this helps you and you know that you are not alone. XXX Surviving Siblings

The Surviving Siblings Podcast

Maya Roffler's Show

Welcome to The MaYapinion® Podcast - "Empowering Women, One Opinion at a Time." Maya Roffler is the host and founder of two podcasts, entrepreneur, owner and founder of MaYapinion® LLC, owner and founder of Find A Co-Host, and an investor. She spent over a decade in Corporate America, and she decided to leave to build her businesses. On the The MaYapinion® Podcast, Maya has shared various aspects of her life. The first launch and four seasons of the show were about her experience on reality tv in 2016 and 2017 while losing her brother to a homicide when he was only 27. She relaunched in 2019 as a show focusing on Leadership for Women.After 125 episodes of the leadership podcast, Maya has rebranded again to shift the focus to entrepreneurship. She made this decision as she has shared her corporate experience and leadership perspective since late 2019, and now, she knows it is time to evolve the show's focus to entrepreneurship as she is on her own entrepreneurial journey.We invite you to join Maya and her special guests on their journeys and listen to the entrepreneur podcast for women: MaYapinion® - "Empowering Women, One Opinion at a Time."

Maya Roffler

Shows