Gareth sits down with his friend Hans Comyn, a relationship coach in Colombia, for an unscripted conversation about what it actually takes to build a conscious, evolving relationship. No script. No plan. Just two brothers sharing notes on the frameworks they use in their own relationships and the men they coach.

What You'll Learn

 * Why triggers are treasures. Every uncomfortable reaction in your relationship points to something in you that hasn't healed yet. Learning to read your triggers instead of reacting to them is the fastest path to growth.
 * The three-step framework for an intentional relationship. Invitation, a shared game to play, and a regular check-in. Without this, most couples drift by default instead of designing the relationship they actually want.
 * Why passion doesn't have to die. The early chemistry fades in every relationship. What replaces it when built intentionally, is a deeper and richer form of intimacy. Knowing this stops men from mistaking a natural shift for a sign something's wrong.
 * The Phoenix Principle. Instead of trying to patch a relationship that's grown stale, Hans argues for honouring what it was, letting it end, and consciously building something new. This reframes "ending" as a tool for growth, not a failure.
 * How your relationship with your mother shapes your relationship with women. Gareth and Hans trace Hans's own pattern back to his childhood, live on the call. A useful model for any man trying to understand why he repeats the same dynamic in relationship after relationship. (If you want to identify your own relationship pattern, take Gareth's free 5-minute Pattern Recognition Assessment: https://connect.fatherssonsbrothers.com/mother-wound-assessment/

From the Conversation

"Triggers are our treasures. There's real magic in that." - Gareth Pickering

"Instead of trying to amend what has gone wrong, honour what has been, celebrate what has been, and start again." - Hans Comyn

"Passion does not have to die. What does die is that initial attraction, that chemistry." - Hans Comyn

Join the Academy

You are not broken. You just never had any relationship training.

The men inside the Academy are already awake. Like you, they know their power, abundance, and truth already live inside them. They join because they're self-aware enough to know that even awake men forget sometimes, so they surround themselves with other conscious men who remind them.

If this conversation landed for you, the Academy gives you the tools, the structure, and the brotherhood to take it further: fatherssonsbrothers.com/academy [https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/academy].

About our guest

Hans Comyn is a Renaissance man with a passion that spans across art, philosophy, sports, and more.

His diverse experiences as an

#79 Triggers Are Treasures: Why Your Most Uncomfortable Moments Are Doing You a Favour with Hans Comyn

Everything you wish you'd said in the past and didn't, drains your energy.

In this episode, Gareth shares a powerful tool called aspecting that lets you go back, say what you didn't say, and reclaim your power. Aspecting can be done with a past relationship, your parents, money, death, your business or anything where you feel strong emotional charge.

This tool (aspecting), the 9 emotional release tools, and 93 other relationship training videos live inside The Academy.

The Academy is the training ground for growth-minded men who are committed to attracting and maintaining healthy relationships with themselves and others. Join today for just $9: https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/academy

#78 Unfinished Business: A Man's Guide to Saying What Was Never Said

How clear are you about the direction your relationship is going?

How much time have you and your partner spent creating a shared vision for your life together?

Do you have the tools and frameworks you need to navigate conflict, emotional charge, and old wounds when they arise in your connection?

Most people spend more time planning a holiday than they do planning their relationship.

Yet your intimate relationship will shape so much of your life. It can become one of the most beautiful, challenging, healing, and confronting parts of your human experience.

But love alone is not enough.

Without the right structure, language, and shared agreements, even well-intentioned couples can find themselves stuck in unhealthy patterns, repeating unresolved childhood wounds, and living past each other instead of growing together.

In this episode, Matt and Gareth explore what it really takes to build a healthy, conscious, and lasting relationship.

They get into the importance of understanding the wounds you bring into love, how to create a shared relationship vision, and why a simple weekly rhythm can help you and your partner stay connected, honest, and aligned.

 If you want your relationship to become a place of deeper intimacy, truth, repair, and shared growth, this conversation will give you a powerful place to begin.

 

Join Built To Last: Online Relationship Workshop

🔥 Are you and your partner living past each other?

🔥 Has the magic disappeared?

It is usually not a lack of love.

It is a lack of structure.

Built To Last is a two-day live workshop where you and your partner will build your Relationship Blueprint.

Together, you will create a shared vision, clear agreements, and a practical framework for navigating the hard parts with more honesty, care, and connection.

The workshop takes place on 1 and 2 August.

Find out more and secure your spot here:

FatherssonsbrothersBuilt to Last [https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/built-to-last] 

#77 Why Agreements Matter More Than Love

In this episode, Gareth and Matt unpack what really happens when sexual connection starts to fade in long-term relationships and why it is rarely about attraction. They explore how desire gets lost through pressure, disconnection, and unspoken expectations, and what it actually takes to rebuild it from within.

What you'll learn:

 * “Dead bedroom” dynamics are rarely about lost attraction, but about pressure, distance, and outsourced sexual responsibility. 
 * Desire does not just fade after big life shifts like having a child. It gets disrupted by identity change, hormones, and role overload.
 * Self-pleasure is often not self-connection. When it is driven by porn or fantasy, it becomes outsourcing rather than ownership of desire.
 * Healthy sexual polarity does not come from one partner “creating” desire. It comes from two self-activated people.
 * Shame around sexuality does not disappear. It goes underground and shows up as pressure, silence, and emotional withdrawal.
 * Rebuilding sexual connection starts with reclaiming your own body and building a conscious self-pleasuring practice that is not dependent on porn, fantasy, or partner validation.

If this hits close to home, the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass unpacks the six core mother wounds that shape how you give and receive love, including how you experience intimacy and desire in relationships. It's free, about an hour, and gives you a clear starting point for deeper work.

Take the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass by clicking here: https://digital.fatherssonsbrothers.com/Whatsapp 

 

#76 Relationship Pillar 4: Keeping The Fire Alive in Your Relationship

In this episode Gareth and Matt break down why most relationship blowups come down to an untrained nervous system, not a character flaw and what to do about it.

What you'll learn:

 * Triggers aren't proof of a broken relationship, they're a map pointing at what still needs healing in you.
 * Kids and animals naturally express big emotions through their bodies. But as adults we learn to suppress them. This suppression is what causes relationship blow-ups.
 * The four trauma responses: Fight (rage, argue), Flight (withdraw), Fix (people-please), Freeze (shut down) - and which one you default to when stressed.
 * The real marker of relationship maturity: choosing to respond with awareness rather than react unconsciously.

Tools to start using:

 * Notice the trigger, take a real pause, and move the energy with breath, movement, and sound.
 * Get curious about which of your core wounds (abandonment, rejection, etc.) just got activated.
 * Come back to the conversation once you're regulated, prioritising connection over being right.

Ready To Go deeper? If this hit close to home, the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass unpacks the six core mother wounds that determine how you give and receive love. It's free, about an hour, and opens the door into The Tribe so that you can work through this alongside other men. 

Take the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass by clicking here: https://digital.fatherssonsbrothers.com/Whatsapp

 

#75 Relationship Pillar 3: Regulate Yourself or Wreck Your Relationship

Most men think they know their partner ...

 

Here's a quick test: 

Can you name her three deepest fears right now? Not her general worries. Her deepest fears.

That moment of hesitation is what this episode is about.

 

What we cover:

 * Why intimacy and sex are not the same thing, and how crossing wires quietly kills connection
 * How it's possible to share a bed for 20 years and still never truly know your partner
 * What a woman actually needs to feel safe enough to open, and how most men miss this entirely
 * How emotional disconnection gets translated into sexual hunger, and why that eventually kills the spark
 * Why the flame goes out, and what's actually behind it 
 *  

This is Pillar 2 of 4. Each episode in this series gives you one foundational skill for building a relationship that lasts.

 

Want to go deeper?

Gareth runs a free 60-minute training called the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass that explores the patterns keeping men stuck in exactly this dynamic.

 

If you're curious, click here to send a WhatsApp message and immediately receive the link:  [https://digital.fatherssonsbrothers.com/Whatsapp]https://digital.fatherssonsbrothers.com/Whatsapp  [https://digital.fatherssonsbrothers.com/Whatsapp]

 

Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss Pillars 3 and 4.

 

And if you want to watch episode 1 of the series check it out here: 

#73 Relationship Pillar 1: Inner Work - The Foundation

https://youtu.be/xJiQ16Q4dAk

#74 Relationship Pillar 2: The Lost Art of True Intimacy

The Four Pillars of a Relationship. Pillar 1: Inner Work: The Foundation

Most men want to fix their relationship. When we work with them, they realise the relationship isn't the problem. 

In the first episode of our Four Pillars series, Gareth and Matt lay the foundation that supports everything else: the inner work most men skip. They also unpack why skipping the inner work means repeating the same pattern in every relationship you have.   Doing the inner work changes everything. It starts by seeing yourself clearly.  

🔥 Get the free Magnetic Masculine Masterclass - identify your specific pattern.

Click the link below, send a WhatsApp message and receive your link to the training:

Whatsapp Matt Dahse [https://api.whatsapp.com/send/?phone=17134460104&text=I%20want%20the%20masterclass]  

Want to go deeper?

🎧 Episode 72 - Go deeper on the six mother-wound patterns that drive most men's relationship struggles:

YouTube#72 You're Not Dating Her, You're Dating Your Mother Wound - 6 patterns sabotaging your relationship  [https://youtu.be/_xSUCqikr0E]   

The Fathers Sons Brothers Podcast is hosted by Gareth Pickering and Matt Dahse.

New episodes every Thursday.

#73 Relationship Pillar 1: Inner Work - The Foundation

The relationship challenges you’re experiencing today didn’t begin with your partner.

They began with the very first intimate relationship you ever had.

Long before you knew what love was supposed to look like, your nervous system was already learning: whether it was safe to be seen, whether your needs would be met.

That teacher was your mother.

And the strategies you developed to navigate that first relationship followed you into every connection you’ve had since. They may be shaping how you love, how you shut down, and why some men find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns no matter how much they want things to be different.

In this episode of the Father Sons Brothers Podcast, Gareth and Matt explore the six core mother wounds at the root of most relationship patterns in men, and the shadow work required to finally break the cycle.

In this episode, you will discover:

 * The six core mother wounds: the Approval Seeker, the Emotional Caretaker, the Avoidant Man, the Good Boy, the Hyper-Independent Man, and the Little Prince. Find out which one is most alive in you
 * Why the Good Boy is the most common relationship wound Gareth and Matt see in men, and how niceness, agreeability and hidden desire slowly drain polarity from your relationship
 * What reparenting means in practice, and the three S’s of transformation that take a man from recognising his childhood patterns to genuinely changing them
 * Why doing this shadow work alone can make lasting change harder to reach, and what real brotherhood looks like for men serious about growth

Whether you're deep in this work or just beginning, this episode will give you something real to take into your relationships. Press play.

Additional resources:

In this episode Gareth and Matt reference Dr. Robert Glover’s work on the Nice Guy [https://youtu.be/Gs4IlKR8G_4?si=Gkg1xJoCoM9T7MEy], author of No More Mr. Nice Guy. If the Good Boy wound resonated with you, Ep 39 is a great next listen.

RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS FOR MEN

We’ve just released a brand-new masterclass: The Magnetic Masculine: Relationship Fundamentals for Men.

This potent 60-minute training gives you the relationship tools you should have learnt in school but didn’t. Around 30 minutes of teaching, followed by 30 minutes of powerful journaling prompts.

Whether you’re single and searching, recently heartbroken, or in a relationship that needs some spark. This free training is for you.

Join Gareth inside the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass here: https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/mmm-register

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS

Gareth Pickering [https://garethpickering.com/] is an artist and thought leader. His inspiration is to create spaces for men to have open, honest conversations that shift their mindsets and help them live life to the fulles

#72 You're Not Dating Her, You're Dating Your Mother Wound - 6 patterns sabotaging your relationship

Your relationship will either wake you up or wear you down.

It is one of the most powerful vehicles for personal transformation. It is also one of the most meaningful parts of a well-lived life. Yet almost no one teaches you how to do relationships well.

So, you improvise.

Well-intentioned men and women spend years stuck in the same loops, arguments and emotional explosions.

They feel the pain, but they do not understand the pattern. They want depth, but they do not have the tools.

In this episode of the Father Sons Brothers Podcast, Gareth talks with Simon Paul Sutton, internationally recognised facilitator, coach, speaker, and author.

Simon spent two days with Gareth at his home on the Garden Route in South Africa, where this raw and honest conversation was recorded.

They go deep and speak about the truth about shadow, intimacy, breakups and personal growth.

In this episode, you will discover:

 * Why most couples avoid radical honesty, and how that avoidance destroys connection
 * A simple and playful framework to meet the different parts of your psyche, including the ones you try to hide
 * How Simon used parts work to navigate his most recent relationship ending with maturity and self-leadership
 * How Gareth and Simon found their way into men’s work, and why expanding consciousness is not optional for anyone who wants to live a powerful life

If you want a better relationship, start by becoming a better man - press play.

 

Additional resources:

RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS FOR MEN

We've just released a brand-new masterclass: The Magnetic Masculine - Relationship Fundamentals for Men.

This 3-part video training gives you the relationship tools you should have learnt in school but didn't.

So, whether you're single and searching, recently heartbroken or in a connection that needs some spark - this free training is for you.

Join Gareth inside the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass here: 

https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/mmm-register 

 

 

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Simon Paul Sutton is an internationally recognised facilitator, coach, speaker, sex-educator, tantric practitioner, author, and podcast host. From a journey through crime and addiction to embodied truth and radical honesty, Simon has impacted thousands worldwide. 

Author of Self Love Now and Burglar to Buddha, Simon is also the creator of ROOTED, somatic coaching for men’s emotional maturity, conscious sexuality, and embodied presence. He co-created Naked Soul, immersive group experiences for a new story of humanity, and Enlighten Up!

#71 Relationships - Your Greatest Playground for Transformation with Simon Paul Sutton

I sit down with co-creator, Lenerd Louw to explore a radical idea in a world that won’t stop moving: what if the real power move is to slow the fuck down?

We unpack the cost of over-scheduling, burnout, and living on autopilot, and contrast it with what becomes possible when a man designs his life in alignment with his soul. This conversation isn’t about doing more or fixing yourself. It’s about tuning into the truth that already lives inside you and having the courage to listen.

This episode also offers a behind-the-scenes look at the inspiration behind Soul Safari — our transformational men’s retreat into the wilds of South Africa. Created for men who feel the quiet whisper of their soul calling for something more, Soul Safari is an invitation to unplug, reset, and reconnect to what really matters.

SOUL SAFARI: 17-27 MARCH 2026 | SOUTH AFRICA

You weren’t put on this earth to grind, scroll, and survive until the weekend.

Over 11 days in South Africa’s wildest landscapes, you’ll step out of your normal routine and into a sacred container of brotherhood, stillness, and soul-awakening clarity. We strip back the noise. Go off the grid. Sit in silence. Share around the fire. And listen deeply to what life is really asking of you.

This isn’t just a retreat.
It’s a reset.
And it might just change the next decade of your life.

Apply now: https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/soul-safari/?coupon_code=SOULCORE 
Soul Safari Only 10 spots available

 THE KING'S CIRCLE: A DOJO FOR INTEGRATED LEADERS

An integrated leader recognises that we all have inner work to do. So, these new-paradigm leaders seek out people, processes, and places that help them identify and integrate their blind spots.

Each month, Fathers Sons Brothers hosts the King's Circle, a free two-hour transformational leadership training experience. It’s a men-only space where visionaries gather to learn tools and frameworks that make them better communicators and more integrated leaders.

When you regularly invest in this type of training:

- You gain access to a space where men from all over the world support and encourage you to show up at your best.
- You get clear on what you came here to do.
- You reconnect with your mission.
- You recognise where you’re leaking energy, and you reclaim that power to allocate towards serving your mission.
- You develop more trust in yourself, and this improvement is reflected in all your relationships.
- You feel inspired and excited about our brave new world, as you connect deeper with the other Integrated Leaders through the King’s Circle.

All growth after puberty is optional and the men who attend our circle have a growth mindset like you.

We support each other in becoming the new paradigm of courageous leaders we've been waiting for.

Secure your free seat in The King’s Circle here: https://www.fatherssonsbrothers.com/kings-circle.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Lenerd achieved success relatively early in his life, running Marketing and Advertising for a big direct insurance group in South Africa in his early thirties and becoming a CEO in his early forties. However, in his mid-forties, he had a strong inner voice telling him to change everything in his life. It did not make any sense, so he distracted himself with sex, drugs and jacuzzis for four years. What seemed glamorous on the outside was actually a deep, dark, desperate time on the inside.

Eventually, in 2013, after this deep dark night of the soul, he heeded the call, resigned, sold and gave away most of his possessions, bought a backpack and a one-way ticket to Lima in Peru, which started a five-year, 35-country journey around the world. He attended num

#70 Slow The F#ck Down

Gareth Pickering (@fsb) · Zencastr

Gareth Pickering (@fsb)

We believe that your story could contain the key that unlocks someone else's healing. So we connect with humans from all walks of life as they share their journeys from chaos to courage. In a chaotic, non-stop world, we invite you to take a breath, sit back and take some time for yourself. Join Gareth Pickering and Matt Dahse on this adventure, where they question old paradigms and architect new ways to live, laugh and love. No topic is off-limits as we deep dive into intimacy and relating, business and money, shadow work and addiction, and authentic communication and leadership. Welcome to the Call To Courage Podcast - More magic per minute than any other podcast in your library. A Fathers Sons Brothers production. Gareth Pickering is an artist and thought leader, creating spaces where men can come together to heal, grow and thrive. Matt Dahse is a father and conscious creator, designing pathways for men to follow to unlock their potential and step into their power. Go to www.calltocourage.live for exclusive behind-the-scenes content and connect directly with the Fathers Sons Brothers community.