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This week on the Tuesday Teaser!  Dave and a special guest open the show only to realize they just lost an entire hour-long recording — a full tribute episode to Mark F. is gone forever. Instead of forcing it, they pivot and talk about fear, frustration, and what it feels like when things fall apart at the beginning of a new year.

Dave shares a very real New Year’s Eve story: driving his daughter Susan to Riverhead in a 200,000-mile Subaru while the temperature gauge starts flashing, Google says the car is about to explode, and anxiety takes over. A gas station stop, a stranger with car knowledge, antifreeze drama, and a callback to Susan accidentally drinking antifreeze as a baby somehow make it into the mix.

They survive, make it to the aquarium, hit a kid-friendly ball drop, and wind down talking about cookies, brookies, peanut butter, parenting, and selling dessert to anxious people. The episode ends with a teaser for a Patreon-only interview Dave’s daughter Nora did with him for a school assignment, followed by music, wandering thoughts, and the familiar Dopey sign-off.

much much more - including two more Zoe recordings only on patreon!


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Dopey Tuesday(in the family) - My 7 year old thinks she drank antifreeze...again and my15 year old Interviews me ...

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The episode opens with your intro, then the bulk of the show is Hairy Tongue Will’s massive, chaotic, detailed telling of his addiction, near-death runs, arrests, relapse cycles, dead friends, and eventual recovery.

Will describes the early Long Island chaos with Richie, Mike, and Lenny—everyone strung out on heroin, crack, coke, and whatever they could get. He recalls the first serious turn: showing up to a house where Lenny was passed out after a three-day crack run, realizing “the demons are taking over.” Mike and Richie spiral deeper, and Will keeps managing to “hold it together” thanks to jobs, work ethic, and a strange electrical-job stabilizer that kept him semi-functional.

He details years of DUIs, probation, manipulating drug tests, smoking crack constantly while still working 16-hour electrician shifts, and thriving socially because coworkers lived vicariously through him. He normalized chaos, missing only “one no-call/no-show every two weeks,” which he considered acceptable.

Will then dives into his first short attempt at stability, living in a basement apartment. His probation officer surprises him the day after a holiday: the apartment is filled with beer cans, bongs, baggies. He fails the test, is sent back to rehab/jail cycles, and explains why Long Island addicts often choose jail over treatment. He describes his surreal time in jail—being sent to the Montauk Lighthouse on work crews, eating egg sandwiches and black-and-milds with the guards, becoming “the useful guy,” actually feeling respected and purposeful.

Back outside, he tries again, fails again, collects DUIs, cycles through companies, loses jobs, hustles side work, and repeatedly relapses. A wedding night leads to another DUI. COVID hits while he’s in jail. He gets out, starts working nonstop, earns money, piles cash in a closet, stacks crypto, reads self-help books, sleeps on a mattress on the floor, becomes obsessed with success and control.

Then he meets a girl in Tennessee. He drinks again “successfully” only when he flies there. He builds a double life—working himself numb, drinking out of state, convincing himself he’s different.

Eventually, on a work trip, he gambles, wins big, drinks an old fashioned, and secretly cooks his boss’s cocaine into crack. This reignites the obsession. Will starts traveling the Northeast and Midwest, repeatedly pulling crack-seeking missions: gas stations, high-crime neighborhoods, asking strangers, “I’m looking for some hard.” He builds drug contacts in Bridgeport, Dayton, Maine, Virginia, wherever the job sends him. He smokes in hotels, hallucinates blood on floors, changes rooms repeatedly.

He recounts the deaths of friends:

Mike, whose father turned their home into a sheet-walled trap house with dealers and bikers living inside.

How Mike died with his father selling sneakers off his dead son’s body.

Richie, who got sober then died of fentanyl after nearly two years clean.

Will’s life collapses further—obsession, resentment toward God, jealousy, terminal uniqueness. He becomes a “demon,” wanting to die like his friends. He terrifies his girlfriend with delusional FaceTimes, nine-day runs, psychosis. She moves in without knowing the truth and becomes trapped in codependency.

He stays high for 26 straight days, manipulates her with antihistamine allergy episodes to cover his psychosis, hides crack pipes around the house with ring cameras everywhere. He finally admits some truth, gives her $5,000 to escape, but she stays another nine months.

He tells insane stories:

Pretending he’s a trust-fund baby to get free crack

Getting shot at by a dealer after a misunderstanding over “two grams” vs “two ounces”

Driving through wooded roads barefoot at gas stations

Dealers trying to jump him

Becoming a mule for a recently-released dealer (Ace)

Near misses, viol

Dopey Replay: The Crack Fueled Exploits of Hairy Tongue Will

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This week on Dopey! Dave rings in the first Friday of 2026 with multimedia superstar and Queen of Melrose, Cosmo Lombino—fresh off Soft White Underbelly fame—spilling a wild Harlem-to-Hollywood saga of mob-adjacent glamour (Godfather shoots at grandma's apartment, fur coats from car trunks), early gay defiance against Jehovah's Witnesses, freebase-fueled club chaos, near-misses with Michael Jackson pasta invites, MacArthur Park crack binges, cardboard-box homelessness, and finally sustained sobriety (8+ years strong) through rigorous daily step-writing, meditation, and Tarzana redemption. Dave raves about Avatar: The Last Airbender bonding with his kid, plugs Patreon Zooms and ad-free listening, reads spicy Spotify comments (mushroom nipples, crack exam tales), shares voicemails (stolen lunchbox heist gone wrong, Hexen research-chemical nightmare), teases upcoming content, and shouts out community heroes while vowing to care less about haters. 

All that and more on this first Friday Dopey of 2026!


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Dopey 563: The Queen of Melrose, Cosmo Lombino!  NYC Gangser Child, Coke-club mayhem, homeless crack in LA, Recovery!

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This week on Dopey! We kick off 2026 with a Thursday replay of one of his all-time favorites—the legendary Steve Poltz's epic first appearance from 2023, packed with altar boy wine thefts, Rugburns stage-wrecking chaos (56 stitches included), mushroom-fueled job quits, co-writing "You Were Meant for Me" with Jewel in Baja Mexico, Ramones opener mayhem, cocaine/crack spirals, a best friend's tragic murder, and ultimate rehab surrender. Dave reflects on Poltz as a true "blessing" to the show and his life, debates sticking with Five Days of Dopey, reads wild listener comments (meth pee anyone?), shares an Australian dad's white-knuckle sobriety struggles, and drops quick recovery tips while prepping lasagna for Linda's mom's 80th. All that and more on this brand new 2 year old replay show of that good old dopey show!

 


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All Time Classic Dopey! Steve Poltz Replay! Coke and Crack Mayhem! Psychedelics! Jewel and Neil Young!

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This week on Dopey! Dave rings in New Year’s Eve with a raw, reflective Wednesday dose amid a “rough fucking week” on the home front, admitting family struggles (including Linda’s dad’s health) have him questioning whether to keep the grueling Five Days of Dopey schedule into 2026 while teasing resolutions like restarting the infamous Dopey Fitness Challenge, daily writing, and maybe even Tai Chi to save his creaky joints. He reads a heartfelt email from old-timer Craig begging him to go full-throttle for the community’s sake, then drops the full replay of his recent guest spot on the hippie Yellow Balloon podcast One Show at a Time—a rapid-fire qualification packed with childhood staph infections, codependency as his first “drug,” heroin-fueled career crashes, supervised visitation shame, and the desperate AA surrender that finally stuck at 41. The share ends with an avalanche of love from the Zoom crowd (random cameos from Ivan Neville and Anders Osborne included), leaving Dave both embarrassed and deeply grateful as he closes out 2025 counting blessings, overeating brookies with Susan at Patchogue’s early ball drop, and reminding the Nation: if you’re struggling tonight, reach out—tomorrow’s a new day. 

All that and more on this weeks collab show with the one show at a time podcast!


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Dopey NYE Special: Playing My Wednesday Dose of Dopey: Dave's Story, heroin, benzos, weed, Recovery, One Show at a Time Collab!

Listen to the Whole Tuesday Episode at 

A special guest joins us for the teaser!  (echoes of COVID-era recordings). The duo catches up casually — We recall recording in the attic back in the day, Dave mentions Linda guesting once and shares a wild memory of a bum flicking a cigarette that hit him in the mouth outside CVS.

Spotify Comments Segment Dave reads listener comments from the previous Tuesday episode (Ray & Alan guest-hosted):

 * A new listener (another Ray) appreciates the Nick Reiner discussions and hopes for more old interviews.
 * Mucho Gringo teases Zoe’s Patreon critique of Dave’s Nick handling.
 * Richard calls the Reiner focus a “pathological obsession” and threatens to unsubscribe by spring 2026.
 * Romanil agrees it’s sensationalizing and suggests smudging the attic with sage.

Dave reveals he depublished the Nick Reiner compilation episodes due to backlash and personal guilt (“It’s haunting me”).

Listener Email: Andrew Zane’s Wild Pitch Dave reads a lengthy email from Andrew Zane asking how to guest on Dopey. Highlights of Andrew’s story:

 * Groomed into drugs as a child (huffing Freon, mouthwash, morning glory seeds, intro to heroin).
 * Teen oxy → heroin addiction, crime spree across Midwest with a girlfriend (scamming hospitals for Dilaudid, policy changes in North Dakota(?)).
 * Prostitution, prison for her, desert life in Arizona (licking psychedelic Sonoran Desert Toads, first meth).
 * Arrested drunk pushing daughter’s stroller, divorce, more rehab, dope sick on xylazine-laced street heroin.
 * Grindr hookup turned near-sex-trafficking + months-long psychosis.
 * Overprescribed Vyvanse gone wrong; now mostly sober using kratom (harm reduction) and occasional toad psychedelics.

Andrew wants to discuss drugs + human trafficking on dating apps and stimulant overprescription.

Discussion: Sex Trafficking & Dating Apps They dive into the dark side of apps like Tinder/Grindr — coerced prostitution, pimps forcing partners, shades of consent, why victims don’t just leave. Dave admits struggling to understand the coercion aspect until reading the legal definition.

Cliffhanger & Patreon Plug Dave teases that he and Ray are starting to work on a movie script together — details only available to Patreon subscribers (patreon.com/dopeypodcast). The free teaser ends here.


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Tuesday Teaser Sex Traffic with a Very Special Guest!

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This week on Dopey! We start wrapping up 2025 with a candid check-in: feeling under the weather amid a family stomach virus, craving a Sopranos binge, and doubting plans for "Five Days of Dopey" in January (Wednesday/Thursday shows likely intermittent—send opinions to dopeypodcast@gmail.com [dopeypodcast@gmail.com?referrer=grok.com]). We share the ultimate post-Christmas blues remedy: a trip to Elizabeth A. Morton National Wildlife Refuge in Sag Harbor, NY, where chickadees, titmice, and woodpeckers eat seeds straight from your hand in the snowy quiet—described as magical, healing, and the true "opposite of addiction."

Dave addresses backlash from replaying Nick Reiner episodes (including harsh comments like "Narcissist Grifter" and "Exploitative Jew"), explains his intent to share old conversations without commentary, notes new listeners discovered Dopey through them, and mentions turning down media interviews. He plugs ad-free listening on Patreon (patreon.com/dopeypodcast) and urges positive iTunes reviews.

Listener Emails (Oldies Read Aloud)

 * Wendy: Proposes a dedicated recovery-focused social media platform to avoid bans for "junky" content.
 * James D. Hart: Highlights interracial bands like Prince and the Revolution (inspired by Sly & the Family Stone), Jimi Hendrix Experience, and Smashing Pumpkins.
 * Christy Adams: Celebrates 3 years clean, praises an older neuroscience/meth/GLP-1 episode, and misses the original Dave/Chris dynamic.

Stickers or socks for anyone whose email/voicemail gets read—email dopeypodcast@gmail.com [dopeypodcast@gmail.com?referrer=grok.com].

Main Feature: Classic Darrell Hammond Interview Replay (2017) The legendary SNL cast member (longest-tenured before Keenan) gets raw about:

 * SNL highs/lows, iconic impressions (Clinton, Connery), working with Lorne Michaels, and celebrity encounters.
 * Childhood trauma and abuse, flashbacks, and blaming himself to protect the idea of parental love.
 * Alcoholism starting at 14 (first beers felt like "the world turning from black-and-white to color").
 * Self-harm as a "problem solver" and crisis creator during prolific periods.
 * Wild Harlem crack house story (mistaken for a cop, defended as "that motherfucker old TV," spotting the St. Francis Prayer on the wall).
 * Multiple relapses, including after a sponsor's suicide.
 * Stroke-ward epiphany that finally led to lasting sobriety—seeing patients struggle to speak inspired desperation for change.
 * Recovery tools: St. Francis (11th Step) Prayer, connection with others, cognitive therapy, yoga, meetings, and the "law of threes" (expect ⅓ great days, ⅓ okay, ⅓ rough).

Wrap-Up Dave re-reads old Spotify comments on the Hammond episode (debates over "This or That," therapy questions, possum facts, etc.) and closes with his heartfelt acoustic cover of "Good So Bad"—the song from the first Dopey episode he heard that inspired him to get clean.

All that and more on this weeks installment of that good old Dopey Replay Show!


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Monday REPLAY SHOW! Darrell Hammond Tales From the Crack House Replay and is Dave A Narcissist Grifter (Jew)

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This week on Dopey! For our post-Christmas Dopey episode we kick it off with a Christmas gift review and we read Spotify comments on the Alec Baldwin episode we shout out NANA/Lili Coffin hitting 6 years sober, and weaves in sponsor love. The return of White Tighties Jeremy Turner accidentally shooting Viagra and an email all about meth-fueled multi-day porn marathons that destroy skin and phones another about brutal long-term benzo withdrawal horrors, and a wild prison-submitted bath salts tale full of paranoia and fake-reality glitches.

Then, at 25:42, Yellow Balloon recovery powerhouse Jen Dawson takes over with her unforgettable Southern story – from feeling like an outsider in a "normal" family, early prescribed Adderall and wild "nipple" psilocybin mushrooms, diving headfirst into '99 Phish tour life, crystal meth insanity, toxic soulmate drama (including a pistol-whipping incident), a venomous spider bite leading to near foot amputation and a pain-clinic fentanyl jackpot, research chemicals, shooting heroin, the devastating stillbirth of her son Dakota, a suicide attempt, multiple jail stints, and finally true surrender in a strict year-long program. Now 11 years sober, Jen shares how sweat lodges helped her connect with Dakota's spirit, rebuilding life with daughter Cyprus (now 18 and thriving), going to college, and finding lifelong community in the Yellow Balloon sober jam-band scene. Raw, funny, tragic, and deeply inspiring – peak Dopey.

All That and MUCH MORE ON THIS HIPPY DIPPY FAR THE FUCK OUT NEW EPISODE OF THE GOOD OL DOPEY SHOW!


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Dopey 563: The Pistol Whipping, Sex Drug Taking, Heroin Shooting, Mushroom Cultivating, Phish Loving Life of Phell Legend Jenn Dawson

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This week on Dopey! It is Christmas (STILL) as the 5 days of Dopey continues! We start with me alone reading spotify comments and considering not doing 5 shows a week! Then we play he replay where comedian Jessa Reed calls in and tells us all about her tweaker days. Stories include carrying a dead owl around for weeks and trying to breathe life into it via meth smoke, and drinking her own piss (repeatedly) because it had traces of methamphetamine. Jessa, a dopey hall-of-famer, also tells us how she finally got clean after a decade of pure debauchery. Check out Jessa's podcast, the Mormon and the Meth-Head. We play a voicememo from Korey about the time he shot a goofball and ran from the non-existant police for three hours straight and tore his MCL. 


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Thursday Replay! Meth Piss Owl Story with Jessa Reed and Chris!


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This week on Dopey! It's Christmas Eve! Wishing all the listeners a Merry Fucking Christmas! This week we open the show reminding everyone about patreon and reading a note from incarcerated Dope - Montana about prison life, Toastmasters, college aspirations, and his badass DIY cubicle decor.

We reflects on Christmas's universal meaning – love, hope, togetherness – while sending love to the Reiner family. The main interview features longtime friend and DopeyCon organizer Rachel Hechtman (@soberincentralpark), recorded the day the Nick Reiner news broke. Rachel shares her wild journey: early drinking and coke at 14, boarding school antics (including Paris Hilton-sourced coke), dealing at Dartmouth, drug-induced psychosis, a secret marriage to an Italian guy (Giuseppe!), massive weight loss (80 lbs), and getting sober through daily Central Park walks with her dog George during COVID – no 12-step, just determination, walking, and community-building.

All that plus copious Nick Reiner Spotify comments on this brand new Wednesday version of that good old dopey show!


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I Snorted Paris Hilton's Coke, Dealt at Dartmouth, 4-Month Psychotic Hell, Secret Marriage – Rachel Hechtman's Wednesday Dopey Dose!

Stupid Funny Addiction Stories | Recorded around New York |

Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction

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