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The Karak Chai Hero
4 Plays1 year ago
Salman soliloquizes on the battles of making the perfect cup of Karak Chai, being a vampire and missing family.
Listen in as Salman tackles the art of making karak chai. Get comfy, sit back, and get ready to laugh your way through this wild ride!
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Transcript
Salman's Comedic Intro
00:00:03
Speaker
Hey there, you lovely bunch of beautiful podcast pals.
00:00:07
Speaker
What's going on?
00:00:09
Speaker
You're listening to me, Salman Qureshi, on the Expat Brat Podcast.
00:00:13
Speaker
Woo-woo!
00:00:15
Speaker
I really should stop saying that, right?
00:00:17
Speaker
It just sounds so much like I'm announcing some radio show on.
00:00:22
Speaker
What is going on with you
The Karak Chai Challenge
00:00:23
Speaker
guys?
00:00:23
Speaker
I'm sitting at home.
00:00:25
Speaker
I just made myself a cup of Karak Chai.
00:00:29
Speaker
If you haven't lived in the Gulf or I guess if you've lived under a rock...
00:00:36
Speaker
You might not know what Karak Chai is, but it's this strong cup of tea.
00:00:42
Speaker
I mean, I don't know.
00:00:43
Speaker
Some people add saffron and cardamom.
00:00:46
Speaker
I keep it simple.
00:00:48
Speaker
When I say I keep it simple, I normally don't make it because I have this unique talent of trying to make Karak Chai and getting it all completely wrong.
00:00:59
Speaker
I don't know.
00:01:00
Speaker
I have followed like a gazillion YouTube videos and I've seen those quick ones on TikTok.
00:01:09
Speaker
I've looked up these bloggers who all go like, I've got the perfect way for you to make a cup of tea.
00:01:14
Speaker
And then I make it.
00:01:15
Speaker
I get all the ingredients.
00:01:16
Speaker
I try it over and over.
00:01:17
Speaker
It's day six of me trying.
00:01:20
Speaker
And I think at this point, I'm just enjoying the process of making tea because it just it feels nice.
00:01:27
Speaker
It's kind of calming, meditating, you know, almost in your mind.
00:01:32
Speaker
You're kind of like just maybe that's the real effect of tea.
00:01:37
Speaker
It's making the tea that sounds better.
00:01:42
Speaker
And yeah, yeah.
00:01:42
Speaker
So it really kind of just gives me a little calmness and something to focus on and do.
00:01:47
Speaker
It's nice that way.
00:01:49
Speaker
Then I take the first sip and I just go, this is terrible.
00:01:54
Speaker
This is the worst cup of tea I've ever had.
00:01:59
Speaker
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
00:02:02
Speaker
I have no idea.
00:02:03
Speaker
I don't understand.
00:02:05
Speaker
It sounds so simple.
Humorous Animal Anecdotes
00:02:07
Speaker
Every instruction you see online, you just follow.
00:02:12
Speaker
A few times I've even in the past, I've asked my mom, I've asked my sister, and they've taken me through it.
00:02:19
Speaker
And it all just sounds like I'm like, yeah, I get it.
00:02:22
Speaker
That's all I got to do.
00:02:23
Speaker
Okay, got it.
00:02:24
Speaker
And then I do it, and I take my sister.
00:02:27
Speaker
I don't know what it is.
00:02:29
Speaker
I don't know.
00:02:30
Speaker
Do I cook it too long?
00:02:33
Speaker
I've just made one just before starting the podcast.
00:02:36
Speaker
And I haven't taken a sip yet because it's still boiling.
00:02:40
Speaker
It is boiling like it is boiling like the world, the globe is boiling.
00:02:46
Speaker
Man, have you been seeing these animals, man?
00:02:52
Speaker
I just think the animals are going crazy.
00:02:54
Speaker
I saw a clip of a bear.
00:02:57
Speaker
Bears are out and about now.
00:02:59
Speaker
I saw a clip of this bear in, I think it was in Burbank.
00:03:01
Speaker
So that's in California.
00:03:05
Speaker
And he or she, I don't know the gender.
00:03:07
Speaker
I shouldn't assume.
00:03:09
Speaker
I didn't read the whole.
00:03:10
Speaker
I didn't.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:12
Speaker
Who would know if it was a male or female?
00:03:15
Speaker
It's not a circus or a zoo where they've got name tags on or some shit.
00:03:20
Speaker
Anyway, so this bear is just like broken into someone's house and is just using the pool.
00:03:27
Speaker
chilling out in the pool.
00:03:29
Speaker
And I think this bear has the right idea.
00:03:35
Speaker
But it's cool.
00:03:36
Speaker
It's just interesting that animals are just like, I don't care, man.
00:03:41
Speaker
You're the reason to people, right?
00:03:44
Speaker
To human beings.
00:03:44
Speaker
They're just like, you're the reason.
00:03:46
Speaker
It's so hot now.
00:03:48
Speaker
I'm just going to use your pool.
00:03:49
Speaker
I guess animals are communists or socialists or whatever it is.
00:03:55
Speaker
And it is very interesting.
00:03:59
Speaker
But, you know, the bear thing, I was just looking through the news, and, oh, my God, there's this zoo in China, right?
00:04:06
Speaker
And these things called the sun bears, some breed of bears, they're supposed to be apparently like the smallest in size.
00:04:14
Speaker
I mean, they're still huge, but, you know, compared to other bears, they looked a little malnourished as well, like they're, you know, from some remote third-world country.
00:04:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:24
Speaker
Oh my God, this is so bad.
00:04:27
Speaker
This is a bear in a famine kind of... So anyway, the sun bear, right?
00:04:37
Speaker
These people go to the zoo in China.
00:04:38
Speaker
I don't know what city this was.
00:04:41
Speaker
Who would know how to pronounce their names anyway?
00:04:43
Speaker
I'm just... I hope no one listens to this episode just so they don't realize I'm just like slagging off every nationality and whatnot.
00:04:53
Speaker
I'm just sounding racist.
00:04:55
Speaker
Anywho, this bear, the sun bear, like some people see it and they go, hey, hey, man, I don't think that's a bear.
00:05:03
Speaker
That's like a human being dressed up as a bear.
00:05:07
Speaker
Because here's the thing that made them suspicious.
00:05:11
Speaker
It was standing on its...
00:05:13
Speaker
hind legs is that what you say when they're like on their feet they're standing on his feet all right he was standing up like a human being it kind of i saw the clip it's really funny he's a he does this kind of like a wave at the crowd again he she i don't know i don't assume they they waved at the crowd and um
00:05:32
Speaker
And then some people pointed out like there's like extra fur on the person.
00:05:36
Speaker
You know how when you wear a costume and it just doesn't fit properly.
00:05:40
Speaker
So that's what it kind of looked like.
00:05:41
Speaker
I saw the video.
00:05:42
Speaker
I was like, maybe a little bit, a little bit.
00:05:43
Speaker
But when you watch the other video, like clips and pictures of the sun bear, I was like.
00:05:49
Speaker
I don't know.
00:05:49
Speaker
I think it looked real enough, but it went viral in China.
00:05:54
Speaker
And then I found out why the Chinese are suspicious.
00:05:58
Speaker
So apparently, because it's not the first time some zoo in China has tried pulling a fast one.
00:06:06
Speaker
These are really great stories.
00:06:09
Speaker
Apparently a couple of zoos in the past, two different zoos that I'm talking about.
00:06:13
Speaker
One of them tried to pass off a, how do you pronounce that?
00:06:18
Speaker
Mastiff, Tibetan Mastiff.
00:06:21
Speaker
They're ferocious looking dogs, the Tibetan Mastiff.
00:06:27
Speaker
I think that's how you pronounce it.
00:06:29
Speaker
Big ferocious dogs and they tried to pass it off as a lion.
00:06:35
Speaker
And it's only when people got close, they realized it's a dog because it barked.
00:06:43
Speaker
started barking and they're like, wait a minute.
00:06:47
Speaker
So all these people are really mad there.
00:06:49
Speaker
And then apparently another zoo tried the same, didn't learn their lesson from their brethren, fellow people, and tried to pull the same thing, except they went a step further.
00:07:01
Speaker
They put a golden retriever and claimed it was an African lion.
00:07:06
Speaker
I mean, that one was just so obvious.
00:07:10
Speaker
Coming back to that first one,
00:07:12
Speaker
the massive one.
00:07:14
Speaker
I forgot the details.
00:07:16
Speaker
I don't know where I read it.
00:07:18
Speaker
But I think they had, I think they tried dressing it up as well as a line as a bit or something.
00:07:25
Speaker
That sounds so hilarious.
00:07:27
Speaker
Anyway, so these two zoos got caught.
00:07:29
Speaker
Who knows?
00:07:29
Speaker
Those are the stories we've heard.
00:07:31
Speaker
How many more times people in China apparently get screwed over at zoos and go, hey, that's not what I pay for.
00:07:41
Speaker
And so and so I guess that's why people were like suspicious and thinking, hey, this this is not a bear.
00:07:49
Speaker
But you learn you learn.
00:07:50
Speaker
I just seeing that kind of cool new bear for me, it was kind of interesting to see it.
00:07:58
Speaker
Yeah,
Tea Triumph and Persistence
00:07:59
Speaker
so that's how I started off my day with the news.
00:08:03
Speaker
I'm just about to have another sip of this Karachai.
00:08:07
Speaker
Well, first sip.
00:08:08
Speaker
I think it's cooled down just enough.
00:08:10
Speaker
You look at your mug and you... How do you know when it's ready, right?
00:08:15
Speaker
I can still see the steam on top of the cup.
00:08:20
Speaker
I don't like lukewarm stuff.
00:08:22
Speaker
I like a hot cup of tea, a hot cup of coffee.
00:08:25
Speaker
But...
00:08:26
Speaker
I also am not a fan of burning my tongue.
00:08:29
Speaker
See, you know what the other beautiful thing is?
00:08:31
Speaker
You guys can't see this, but if you looked at this cup of tea, it looks like karak chai, all right?
00:08:36
Speaker
Like the color is caramel-ish.
00:08:38
Speaker
It's caramel.
00:08:39
Speaker
It's perfect.
00:08:40
Speaker
Like it's in a mug.
00:08:42
Speaker
Anyone who saw this right now would think this is the best, most accurate cup of karak chai ever made.
00:08:49
Speaker
And yet I have this sinking feeling.
00:08:52
Speaker
I'm going to take this sip and it's just going to be disappointment all over again.
00:08:57
Speaker
I'm just going to do it.
00:08:58
Speaker
Give me a sec.
00:08:58
Speaker
Let me just, I'm going to do it right now.
00:09:00
Speaker
It even smells great, right?
00:09:02
Speaker
I just brought it to my nose.
00:09:03
Speaker
It smells perfect as well.
00:09:05
Speaker
Like it's ridiculous.
00:09:06
Speaker
Hold on.
00:09:10
Speaker
Hey, shit.
00:09:10
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:09:11
Speaker
I'm not making this up.
00:09:12
Speaker
This one's not too bad.
00:09:13
Speaker
This is, I'm finally getting it.
00:09:16
Speaker
Oh, maybe I've just been burning the milk too long.
00:09:18
Speaker
That's it.
00:09:19
Speaker
You know what?
00:09:20
Speaker
After you pour the milk in.
00:09:21
Speaker
In Karak Chai, you boil the tea first.
00:09:23
Speaker
You put all the stuff in and then you boil it.
00:09:25
Speaker
And then you put the milk in at the end.
00:09:27
Speaker
And I think, I think I've just been boiling the milk too long.
00:09:30
Speaker
So this one kind of tastes roughly right.
00:09:33
Speaker
I got to take, hold on, guys.
00:09:34
Speaker
I got to take another sip.
00:09:36
Speaker
Celebrate this.
00:09:37
Speaker
Make sure it's not a mistake.
00:09:42
Speaker
Oh my God, yes it is.
00:09:43
Speaker
It is awesome.
00:09:45
Speaker
I have finally done... You guys just caught a live moment, a great moment of history.
00:09:53
Speaker
It's recorded now, where a man...
00:09:58
Speaker
Struggling against all odds.
00:10:04
Speaker
And constantly losing and not getting it right.
00:10:07
Speaker
And almost giving up.
00:10:09
Speaker
I almost gave up yesterday.
00:10:11
Speaker
I'll come back in a second.
00:10:13
Speaker
Let me finish this ad.
00:10:14
Speaker
Almost giving up.
00:10:16
Speaker
Continues.
00:10:17
Speaker
Gets up for one more punch.
00:10:19
Speaker
And gets it right.
00:10:20
Speaker
And now he's victorious.
00:10:22
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:10:24
Speaker
You know what my new fear is now?
00:10:26
Speaker
I won't be able to repeat this.
00:10:29
Speaker
I'm so happy this has come out right.
00:10:32
Speaker
But I have this sinking feeling it was a fluke.
00:10:35
Speaker
I wish I remember properly how much I put up everything and how long I... Oh, God.
00:10:42
Speaker
Oh, well, at least I'll just enjoy this cup, right?
00:10:44
Speaker
So the reason I'm saying... What was I saying earlier about... I took a pause about the chai.
00:10:51
Speaker
I can't remember.
00:10:52
Speaker
So no, no.
00:10:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:53
Speaker
Yeah, this is what what happened.
00:10:55
Speaker
Right.
00:10:55
Speaker
So this is a this is a true inspiring story for all of you people out there.
00:11:01
Speaker
Change your life.
00:11:02
Speaker
Right.
00:11:03
Speaker
So yesterday I went, you know what?
00:11:08
Speaker
Screw this.
00:11:10
Speaker
After like another failed attempt, I was like, screw this.
00:11:13
Speaker
I'm going there's a place near my house.
00:11:15
Speaker
It's about it's a 10 minute walk.
00:11:19
Speaker
uh maybe a little bit more and uh they do that they do this car chai place so um i thought you know i'm just gonna walk over and just grab a cup it's cheap it's two derms right it's like i'm like why am i why am i putting myself through this i'm just gonna walk over get some chai for myself screw this man what am i doing and so so i
00:11:41
Speaker
So I walk over and halfway, this is me defeated.
00:11:44
Speaker
This is the hero.
00:11:46
Speaker
He's gone.
00:11:47
Speaker
I'm done.
00:11:48
Speaker
I'm giving up.
00:11:50
Speaker
And I'm doing the walk towards, I'm going towards the dark side.
00:11:57
Speaker
And it's hot outside.
00:12:00
Speaker
Here's the problem, right?
00:12:02
Speaker
I'm walking over.
00:12:02
Speaker
I'm like, I'll have to do this every day.
00:12:05
Speaker
I'm going to have to live like a failure every day until my family's back.
00:12:08
Speaker
And I can have someone make Karak Chai for me.
00:12:12
Speaker
And the problem is it's too hot to stand outside and drink it.
00:12:15
Speaker
So I'm going to have to walk over, get this miniature cup, walk back to my house.
Family and Tea Dependency
00:12:20
Speaker
And hopefully it won't become cold by then.
00:12:23
Speaker
And then have my cup of tea.
00:12:25
Speaker
And I don't know if I have the time every day to do this.
00:12:28
Speaker
So I went halfway through.
00:12:30
Speaker
I'm walking defeated.
00:12:33
Speaker
People throwing stuff at me.
00:12:36
Speaker
The gods looking down at me going, I expected more.
00:12:42
Speaker
And...
00:12:44
Speaker
I stopped myself from saying gods.
00:12:46
Speaker
My inner Muslim came out.
00:12:49
Speaker
Anyway, so I'm there and I'm almost there, but there's a grocery store, right?
00:12:55
Speaker
A corner store.
00:12:56
Speaker
And I stop and I go, this is stupid.
00:12:59
Speaker
I'm a grown man.
00:13:01
Speaker
I should be able to make a cup of Karak Chai.
00:13:05
Speaker
I should be able to get this shit right.
00:13:06
Speaker
I've done harder things in life.
00:13:07
Speaker
So I went into the grocery store again, bought more loose tea because that was you need for this.
00:13:14
Speaker
Bought the milk.
00:13:16
Speaker
You need this like thicker milk that you use with this karak chai.
00:13:21
Speaker
And I went back home.
00:13:23
Speaker
Folks, I went back home.
00:13:24
Speaker
I didn't do it.
00:13:25
Speaker
I said, I'm going to do this right.
00:13:28
Speaker
And I came home and I tried again last night and I failed.
00:13:32
Speaker
Ha ha ha.
00:13:34
Speaker
So I was like, oh, no, this is a bad, bad call.
00:13:38
Speaker
But today I woke up and I was like, you know, I guess I was fresh and I was thinking, you know what?
00:13:43
Speaker
I'm just going to try it one more time.
00:13:46
Speaker
So I've been tinkering every time.
00:13:47
Speaker
That's the thing you got to learn, right?
00:13:49
Speaker
About life.
00:13:50
Speaker
You got to tinker.
00:13:51
Speaker
Everybody needs to tinker, tinker, tinker a little bit.
00:13:55
Speaker
You got to, you got to.
00:13:58
Speaker
Look at the thing and go, all right, I'll add a little less sugar.
00:14:03
Speaker
I'll boil it for a little longer.
00:14:05
Speaker
I'll add a little more tea.
00:14:07
Speaker
And you just mess about.
00:14:09
Speaker
And here I am.
00:14:09
Speaker
I've got a good cup of tea now, man.
00:14:12
Speaker
I'm so happy.
00:14:15
Speaker
But, yeah, like I said, I'm not... Let's see if we can... True champions are the ones who can keep doing every day in and out, right?
00:14:23
Speaker
And that's the next challenge.
00:14:24
Speaker
So those are my...
00:14:27
Speaker
Karak Chai stories.
00:14:29
Speaker
Now, you might be wondering.
00:14:31
Speaker
You might not because you might just have better things to do.
00:14:34
Speaker
But you might be wondering, why is Salman in this position?
00:14:38
Speaker
Why am I sitting at home suddenly in the middle of summer trying to make the perfect cup of tea?
00:14:46
Speaker
And the thing is, my family, if you haven't caught up on the last few episodes, my family is in London right now having a great time.
00:14:54
Speaker
The nanny, my kiddo, Zayan, I keep saying he's a baby, but he's four years old, and my wife.
00:15:03
Speaker
And they're over there.
00:15:04
Speaker
They're having a nice time.
00:15:05
Speaker
It's nice and cool.
00:15:06
Speaker
But all of them, except for Zayan, could make a better cup of tea than I could.
00:15:11
Speaker
So I would let them make me a cup of tea whenever they were making one for themselves.
00:15:17
Speaker
That's a trick.
00:15:18
Speaker
You just
Health and Humor
00:15:19
Speaker
go, so, hey, you having tea?
00:15:21
Speaker
And you go, oh, yeah, I guess.
00:15:22
Speaker
You kind of put it in their head.
00:15:26
Speaker
Subtle.
00:15:27
Speaker
Nice and subtle.
00:15:28
Speaker
And just have this, like, subconscious music playing in the background.
00:15:33
Speaker
Tea.
00:15:34
Speaker
You want tea?
00:15:35
Speaker
You, you, you want tea?
00:15:38
Speaker
Something like that.
00:15:39
Speaker
And pretty soon they'll want to make one.
00:15:41
Speaker
And everyone's nice in my house.
00:15:42
Speaker
So they go, hey, would you like one?
00:15:44
Speaker
And I go, yes, I will.
00:15:47
Speaker
I'm going to have that cup of tea.
00:15:49
Speaker
Now they're gone.
00:15:50
Speaker
And I'm not doing too well.
00:15:51
Speaker
I'm not doing too well.
00:15:53
Speaker
I really miss them.
00:15:55
Speaker
And I wake up every day.
00:15:58
Speaker
Part of me is very sad, man, because you wake up and your son hugs you.
00:16:03
Speaker
And my wife is lovely.
00:16:05
Speaker
And I just love spending a little bit of time with them before I get on with my day.
00:16:09
Speaker
And I don't have that right now.
00:16:11
Speaker
I'm sad.
00:16:12
Speaker
I'm super sad.
00:16:13
Speaker
And I don't feel like eating anything because, again, I have to make it.
00:16:17
Speaker
You know, that's...
00:16:21
Speaker
I have been very good about my diet the last few days.
00:16:24
Speaker
I've been making some stuff at home.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, surprise.
00:16:28
Speaker
Surprise.
00:16:29
Speaker
I can cook, but I can't make chai.
00:16:32
Speaker
Right?
00:16:32
Speaker
The plot thickens.
00:16:36
Speaker
I make decent enough food, and because I'm eating for myself, I'm just making like...
00:16:42
Speaker
lighter, low calorie stuff, easy stuff to do.
00:16:47
Speaker
And I feel better.
00:16:50
Speaker
Every beginning of the month, I check my weight.
00:16:53
Speaker
I don't check it more than once a month because sometimes I cheat and I have a look, but I try to be disciplined because then you get obsessive about it.
00:17:02
Speaker
you keep looking at it and i just think i don't know what's the right time maybe some people should look at it weekly or bi-weekly i don't know i just go i'm gonna have a look every month and uh and just see what's the difference what's happened you know tinker tinker what i said about what i said earlier tinker tinker and uh i have lost point three zero
00:17:25
Speaker
Kilos.
00:17:26
Speaker
This is particularly sad because I can't.
00:17:30
Speaker
The other thing I kind of check is my waist because I read somewhere about how your waistline
00:17:35
Speaker
really tells you how healthy you are.
00:17:37
Speaker
Right.
00:17:38
Speaker
So even if your weight's up and down, the waistline is is a much stronger cue to like how well you're doing, how your heart's doing.
00:17:47
Speaker
Makes sense.
00:17:47
Speaker
Right.
00:17:48
Speaker
It's a fat around your tummy.
00:17:50
Speaker
How much of that do you have?
00:17:51
Speaker
And that is not budging, man.
00:17:53
Speaker
It's like it's frozen.
00:17:55
Speaker
I have lost weight and it just feels like it's frozen.
00:17:57
Speaker
And I won't tell you what my waist is because I'm embarrassed.
00:18:00
Speaker
But it's almost like my age and my waist are identical right now.
00:18:07
Speaker
So that's the hard bit.
00:18:10
Speaker
So the weight thing, I check it once a month.
00:18:12
Speaker
And why it's slightly disappointing is because
00:18:17
Speaker
You know, I also monitor how much workout I do because I have my Apple Watch on all the time.
00:18:23
Speaker
I clock in all the workouts.
00:18:26
Speaker
It clocks all the workouts for me, the amount of time, the amount of exercise I did, blah, blah, blah.
00:18:32
Speaker
And from last month and this month, I doubled it.
00:18:36
Speaker
So I doubled the amount of calories I burned.
00:18:40
Speaker
Well, exercise time, I did two hours in total extra.
00:18:47
Speaker
And then I looked at the weight and I'm like, this should be a lot less.
00:18:55
Speaker
Having said that, I was eating really bad up until they all left.
00:19:01
Speaker
They're gone for another 25 days, man.
00:19:03
Speaker
This is crazy.
00:19:05
Speaker
Ah, um, but hopefully the one good thing that might come out of it might, I say might is that I might lose a little bit of weight.
00:19:13
Speaker
Um, unless I start filling my karak chai with sugar to make it taste better.
Comedy Writing and Reflection
00:19:19
Speaker
That's not what I've done.
00:19:20
Speaker
That's not what I've done.
00:19:21
Speaker
I do add sugar, but just a little bit.
00:19:23
Speaker
Um, you know, I was pre-diabetes, uh, pre-sugar.
00:19:28
Speaker
What is it?
00:19:28
Speaker
What's it called?
00:19:29
Speaker
Like sugar was on, you know, on the edge.
00:19:31
Speaker
I was on the edge and, uh,
00:19:34
Speaker
And that scared me.
00:19:35
Speaker
So I stopped checking it.
00:19:37
Speaker
And so I was just like, hey, if I haven't checked, then I'll always be pre-diabetic.
00:19:48
Speaker
No, I kind of control it.
00:19:49
Speaker
It goes up and down.
00:19:49
Speaker
I have a sweet tooth, but I what do you do?
00:19:52
Speaker
Right.
00:19:52
Speaker
You just anyway.
00:19:55
Speaker
Hey, I've been gigging and it's been nice.
00:19:59
Speaker
We've got another one coming on the 4th of August in a couple of days.
00:20:03
Speaker
It's at one of my favorite venues in Dubai.
00:20:05
Speaker
It's the Clavichord.
00:20:08
Speaker
It's run by my friend, Mick Dodd.
00:20:10
Speaker
He's a great comic.
00:20:11
Speaker
He runs this comedy night called Mad Cat Comedy Club.
00:20:16
Speaker
And Ruzi and I were doing a little bit of improv, but the three of us were talking and, you know, we've been...
00:20:22
Speaker
I particularly have been very lazy about writing new stuff, new jokes.
00:20:26
Speaker
And we've got a few.
00:20:27
Speaker
So I've got this show coming up.
00:20:29
Speaker
And then in a couple of weeks, we're going down to Karachi.
00:20:33
Speaker
And I'll share more details on my social.
00:20:35
Speaker
So if you're there or if you want to tell someone to go watch that show, it's at District 19.
00:20:40
Speaker
We're just about to make all the announcements.
00:20:43
Speaker
And it's going to be cool.
00:20:45
Speaker
I'm taking Rushdie with me and Marie.
00:20:47
Speaker
And we're just going to have a great time there and see how it goes.
00:20:52
Speaker
so i've got these couple of shows and um and we just bet each other let's let's write a few minutes of new material uh for this show for the fourth and uh and now i've got a that's what i've got on my things to do man i gotta i gotta like
00:21:07
Speaker
polish up and write up some of these jokes for five minutes and see how it goes.
00:21:12
Speaker
I'll tell you guys how it goes afterwards.
00:21:15
Speaker
It's always exciting when you try new jokes because when you get it right, there's a huge satisfaction and rush.
00:21:23
Speaker
It's also, you know, it's a creative process.
00:21:26
Speaker
You do the same joke over and over, it becomes muscle memory.
00:21:29
Speaker
And to me, it becomes a bit boring.
00:21:31
Speaker
Obviously, if the audience hasn't seen it before, they still love it.
00:21:34
Speaker
But you as an artist stopped growing.
00:21:37
Speaker
When I first started stand-up comedy, I remember...
00:21:41
Speaker
I remember writing some of these jokes and thinking, I will, you know, I've never been able to come up with anything better than this or funnier.
00:21:49
Speaker
And it was so stupid, right?
00:21:50
Speaker
Like those jokes I cringe at now.
00:21:53
Speaker
I just look back at them and go, my God, they're horrible.
00:21:59
Speaker
And some of them I wouldn't do if you paid me a million bucks.
00:22:01
Speaker
Okay, I wouldn't do it for a million bucks.
00:22:03
Speaker
What am I saying?
00:22:04
Speaker
But yeah, so, you know, it's interesting how it goes and how you feel about
00:22:09
Speaker
where you are and what material it is.
00:22:12
Speaker
I look back at photos and I go, oh my God, I wasn't that bad.
00:22:16
Speaker
I wasn't that, like I didn't have that much of a weight problem.
00:22:19
Speaker
Things that hit me more now.
00:22:21
Speaker
It's crazy how much we in the moment criticize everything about ourselves and feel like failures, right?
00:22:30
Speaker
Ah, there's a lot of failure talk today, but but in a good way.
00:22:35
Speaker
Right.
00:22:35
Speaker
So you got to what else have I been up to, man?
00:22:39
Speaker
I don't want to start a lecture at this point.
00:22:44
Speaker
What have I been up to?
00:22:46
Speaker
Apart from being home, you know, the good thing is I've been socializing a bit.
00:22:50
Speaker
That's been nice.
00:22:51
Speaker
I've been catching up with some friends, finding out some of the stuff going on in their lives and feeling better about my own life.
00:23:00
Speaker
No, I don't mean that.
00:23:01
Speaker
I do mean it.
00:23:03
Speaker
And it's nice.
00:23:03
Speaker
It's nice that way to spend some time social.
00:23:06
Speaker
I'm a... I can be a social butterfly sometimes.
00:23:10
Speaker
So when I'm around people, I do really get charged up and want to like... Want to coast that.
00:23:16
Speaker
Like I feed off.
00:23:17
Speaker
I'm a... Maybe I'm a... Have you guys watched that show?
Socializing and Energy Dynamics
00:23:20
Speaker
It's what we do in the shadows.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's so cool.
00:23:21
Speaker
There's a new season out.
00:23:22
Speaker
But again, because I'm in Dubai, I can't watch it just yet because they haven't released it here.
00:23:27
Speaker
It's so frustrating, right?
00:23:29
Speaker
Anyway, I caught up on all the other seasons and they have one of the vampires.
00:23:34
Speaker
It's about a bunch of vampires that live together.
00:23:36
Speaker
It's kind of like a mockumentary thing.
00:23:40
Speaker
It is a mockumentary.
00:23:41
Speaker
And...
00:23:43
Speaker
And I love it because they have one vampire with them that's called the energy vampire.
00:23:49
Speaker
And he can go out in the day.
00:23:50
Speaker
He basically just feeds off other people's energy.
00:23:52
Speaker
And I just, as I was talking about the social thing, I just went, oh my God, what if I am an energy vampire?
00:23:59
Speaker
And that's how I energize myself.
00:24:03
Speaker
I don't know.
00:24:05
Speaker
Maybe I am.
00:24:05
Speaker
Tough luck for you.
00:24:06
Speaker
Good for me.
00:24:07
Speaker
But yeah, I've been socializing.
00:24:08
Speaker
I've been hanging out.
00:24:09
Speaker
I've been eating better.
00:24:11
Speaker
That way it's been a little decent.
00:24:15
Speaker
And yeah, dude, I got to go write this material.
00:24:19
Speaker
All right.
00:24:19
Speaker
I really knew.
00:24:20
Speaker
I don't want to be embarrassed in a few days.
00:24:22
Speaker
I've got four days, three days, three days.
00:24:26
Speaker
And I don't want to be embarrassed in front of those guys, honestly.
00:24:29
Speaker
God.
00:24:31
Speaker
All right.
00:24:32
Speaker
You guys have a good week
Cheerful Sign Off
00:24:33
Speaker
ahead.
00:24:33
Speaker
I'll catch you up.
00:24:33
Speaker
Have a happy August.
00:24:35
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:24:35
Speaker
It's August.
00:24:36
Speaker
I forgot.
00:24:37
Speaker
It's the first of August.
00:24:38
Speaker
All right.
00:24:38
Speaker
Nice.
00:24:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:38
Speaker
You guys have a good time.
00:24:40
Speaker
I will catch up with you.
00:24:41
Speaker
Take care.
00:24:41
Speaker
Goodbye.
00:24:42
Speaker
Or as a doc would say, woof.