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An Imaginative Prayer Journey through the First Six Stations
223 Plays2 years ago
Today Gretchen Crowder shares with you the audio of a reflection on the first 6 stations of the cross that was originally shared as a video on the Central and Southern Jesuit Province website as part of a Lenten Series for the 2024 Lenten Season.
You can find the video and access the Lenten Series here: https://www.jesuitscentralsouthern.org/spirituality/lent-2024/
You can follow the Central and Southern Jesuit Province and learn more about the Society of Jesus by following @JesuitsUCS (X) or @jesuitscentralsouthern (Instagram)
Much gratitude to the UCS Province communications team for the beautiful artwork for this series!
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If you think you or someone you know has a story that would fit this podcast, please contact Gretchen Crowder at lovedasyouarepod@gmail.com
You can find Gretchen @gdcrowder on social and @lovedasyouarepod on Instagram.
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Transcript
Introduction to Lenten Imaginative Prayer
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, and welcome back to Loved As You Are, an Ignatian podcast. I wanted to hop on here and share with you the audio of a reflection on the first six stations of the cross that was originally shared as a video on the Central and Southern Jesuit Province website as part of a Lenten series for the 2024 Lenten season. In these six stations of the cross, I invite the listener into an experience of imaginative prayer.
00:00:28
Speaker
I hope it is helpful to you as we continue this Lenten journey together, learning to lean ever more into our belovedness.
Ignatius of Loyola and Imaginative Prayer
00:01:15
Speaker
St. Ignatius encouraged people to utilize their imaginations in prayer. It was his imagination, after all, that helped Ignatius realize that God was calling him to a much different life than he originally thought. It was his imagination that allowed Ignatius to come in touch with his emotions and see how they were intimately connected to his spirituality. To be honest, I had a lot of trouble with utilizing my imagination in prayer at first.
00:01:43
Speaker
Whenever I sat with a gospel passage and tried to imagine myself in that space, my head kept getting in the way. I felt like it was impossible to imagine myself in scenes I was never in. In a time period I had never experienced. I placed an inordinate amount of pressure on myself to do imaginative prayer correctly.
00:02:05
Speaker
and to honor the story as written. It took me a long time to realize that my biggest problem with imaginative prayer was that I was trying to be the sole creator of the experience. The truth is, none of us are ever sole creators of our experiences, real or imagined. Instead, God is co-creating with us every minute of every day.
00:02:32
Speaker
So as you enter into this reflection on the first six stations of the cross and are invited to utilize your imagination, don't do it alone. Let God into the experience and feel God co-creating right alongside you.
Opening to God's Presence
00:02:49
Speaker
It might just be one of the best ways to feel God's love for you in action. So let's begin. In the name of the Father, the Son,
00:03:02
Speaker
and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Jesus, in my pursuit of mountaintop moments with you, I know I miss a lot of what you wish to show me. As I walk with you today, open my eyes, my ears, and my heart to take everything in and allow all we experience together to draw us closer in love. Amen.
Jesus's Condemnation and Our Burdens
00:03:33
Speaker
the first station of the cross. Jesus is condemned to die. Jesus, I see you standing there before the ones who are about to sentence you to death. I want to do something, but my feet are frozen to the ground, or at least they feel that way.
00:03:59
Speaker
I feel like I have no actual power to stop this. And so I want to believe that my feet are frozen. I don't want to step closer to you at this moment. Instead, I just want to remain planted and look away. So I do. But when I lower my gaze, I feel your eyes still on me saying, don't look away.
00:04:31
Speaker
How often do I feel powerless to help those hurting in the world today? How often do I choose to close my eyes and look away?
00:05:10
Speaker
Lord, forgive me for the times I've looked away.
First Fall and Meeting Mary
00:05:16
Speaker
Return my gaze to you as we continue this journey together.
00:05:34
Speaker
The second station of the cross, Jesus accepts his cross. Jesus, I can feel the heavy splintered wood of the cross in my hand as I place it on your shoulders. I don't know why I am the one handing it over to you. Shouldn't it be one of the guards?
00:06:00
Speaker
Yet still, it's my hands transferring the heaviness of this wood from me onto you. As I start to let go, I see you stumble a little under its weight, but you write yourself quickly. Why are you taking this cross from me? Why am I giving it to you to take? As I fully release my grip from the wood,
00:06:30
Speaker
I feel your hand briefly touch mine. It feels like love. How often do I transfer the weight of my fears, my insecurities, my anxieties to Jesus?
00:07:02
Speaker
How often do I come to prayer simply to unload all I have to carry and nothing else? Lord, forgive me for the times I've handed you my cross. Help me pick back up my portion of its weight.
00:07:30
Speaker
as we walk together some more. The third station of the cross, Jesus falls the first time. I can see drops of your blood, sweat and tears all around you. They are soaking into the dry ground right at my feet
00:08:02
Speaker
When you started to fall, I instinctively reached out my arms to catch you, but then I quickly drew them back, afraid I'd go tumbling down with you, or maybe even make the fall worse somehow. I heard a strangled cry escape your lips as your knees met the ground. It was so quick, so quiet. I almost didn't hear it at all.
00:08:33
Speaker
But man, I felt it, all the way to my bones. As I kneel beside you now, uncertain of what to do, my tears unconsciously fall. My strangled cry and yours become one.
00:09:01
Speaker
How often do I let myself simply cry with Jesus? How often do I allow him to simply cry with me?
00:09:40
Speaker
Lord, forgive me for the times I've held back from you in fear.
Assisting Jesus with the Cross
00:09:46
Speaker
Grant me the courage to bring all of myself, even the messiest parts to our journey.
00:10:01
Speaker
The fourth station of the cross, Jesus meets his mother. As I watch your mother come as close to you as the guards will allow, I feel every bit of her grief flow through me, as if I am her and she is me.
00:10:25
Speaker
I feel all the distinct stages of grief crash through me in quick succession, denial crashing right into anger, crashing right into bargaining, crashing right into depression. It is the last stage, however, that surprises me enough to turn my eyes from her back to you, when my emotions come to rest on acceptance.
00:10:53
Speaker
How is it possible for her to accept this happening to you? You are not looking at me now. Instead, you and Mary's eyes are locked on one another. The love between you is big enough to hold us all. How often
00:11:22
Speaker
Am I willing to fully enter into my grief? How often am I willing to do the difficult work that will lead me all the way back to love?
00:12:01
Speaker
Lord, forgive me for the times I have ignored my grief, hiding it even from myself. Grant me the willingness to bring all the stages of my grief to light and let them walk with us towards something better just ahead. The fifth station of the cross, Jesus receives help.
00:12:31
Speaker
I had not felt the wood of the cross since the moment I handed it over to you at the start of our journey. But suddenly, there it is, back in my hands. It feels damp now, soaked through with the reminders of the arduous journey so far. I'm surprised to find it in my hands this time,
00:13:02
Speaker
almost as surprised as I am to feel pain radiating across my back. I think I've been struck by the soldiers, but I am too stunned to remember. I think I'm supposed to help you, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to carry this weight.
00:13:26
Speaker
When I see you walking next to me, your body so broken, I chastise myself for my uncertainty. Together, we are strong enough for anything. How often do I question my strength or ability to be who I was created to be?
00:14:07
Speaker
How often do I let my uncertainty be my guide?
00:14:27
Speaker
Lord, forgive me for the times I have not trusted you. Help me turn away from uncertainty and place my trust back in you to be my guide. The sixth station of the cross, Jesus's tears are wiped.
00:14:55
Speaker
I feel my hand reaching towards the cloth Veronica is holding in hers. I want to grab it from her and hold it close so I can see the image your face left behind with my own eyes. My hand stops mid-air as I'm struck by what I was about to do. Here you are right next to me. I have felt the wood of your cross
00:15:24
Speaker
and the dampness of your tears many times already on this journey. And yet I am still reaching out to grab a hold of proof that you are really there. I feel your hand touch mine and I am overcome with emotion. I wonder if this is how Thomas felt.
00:16:03
Speaker
How often do I search for proof of your existence? How often am I searching for the mountain top?
00:16:28
Speaker
and you are right next to me already, standing on solid ground.
Concluding Thoughts and Next Steps
00:16:42
Speaker
Lord, forgive me for all the time I waste searching for proof of you. Grant me the grace to accept that you are closer than the air I breathe.
00:17:03
Speaker
Join me next week as we walk the second half of Christ's journey with him.