Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Our Friendship Origin Story
133 Plays2 years ago
Settle in for a long, fun episode where we reminisce, laugh and *almost* cry as we walk you through how our friendship came to be! We will tell you about how we met, how our frienship has helped us grow and heal as individuals, and how we've kept it alive even as we live in different countries!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Episode Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Art of Intention podcast with Beth and Ayla. Two best friends turn creative entrepreneurs. This is a place for us to discuss everything business, friendships, and faith and occasionally more. We're so excited for today's episode. We think you're going to love it. Stay tuned.
00:00:20
Speaker
Hello everyone. Thanks for tuning into the show today. We have been wanting to do this episode for weeks now and we're so excited that we get to talk about it today. We're going to be sharing our friendship story, um, how we met our lives growing up in our small town and how we've remained friends into adulthood.
00:00:38
Speaker
Yes, we're so excited. We sort of mentioned it in our introduction, but Beth and I have known each other for essentially our whole lives with our friendship really starting around the sixth, seventh grade. I think like seventh grade for me, maybe around sixth grade for you, but we counted it back at one point. We counted back the years at one point, and I think it's around 15 years of like best friendship, which is just so cool. It also makes me feel really old saying that.
00:01:03
Speaker
It's also cool.
Bullying and Friendship Challenges
00:01:07
Speaker
There's lots within our story that we want to cover as well, such as the topic of bullying, especially when it's in the world of 12-year-old girls. It's a scary place there that we want to address. Parents nurturing successful friendships and maintaining friendships as you grow up, including what to do if there's a fallout in your friendship.
00:01:27
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Oh my gosh. I just got to say I've been dying to talk about this one to me too. I just remember our early friendship being so fun and adventurous. You know what? It's so fun to reflect on it. Like sometimes when I'm just feeling down, I just think about some of the times we've had and it's enough to just like lift my spirits too.
00:01:45
Speaker
Me too. So fun. We'll get more into that soon. First, let's jump into the community news segment. Absolutely. So for the community news this week, one thing I wanted to talk about was, this is for the photo editors or really anyone, photography or photo editing related listening, the topic of AI becoming more common to use for editing your galleries and the implications of that.
00:02:10
Speaker
Obviously, I as a photo editor, that makes me sometimes a little bit nervous, but kind of been looking into it a little bit and hearing what people have to say about it in the industry. And I don't really know much about it or how it works other than, you know, it can be, you know, quick and quote unquote, easier for a photographer to use rather than outsourcing to a photo editor, but I just wanted to encourage the photo editors listening to it today.
00:02:34
Speaker
I don't think this has to be anything for us to compete with or be nervous about. I would personally continue to market yourself as a person, as a human being who just wants to help busy photographers with their editing, continue to remind photographers that you encourage feedback and personalization within their editing, and that you are a person who has the time, the willingness, and the dedication to master a photographer's style better than any computer can.
00:03:03
Speaker
Yeah, and I'll just say it from the photographer's perspective, nothing is gonna be able to replace knowing that I can talk to a real human and work out some of the different issues and just kind of say, you know, this is how I wanna do this and customize it fully.
00:03:19
Speaker
for myself, nothing's gonna replace that. I mean, like I said before, Ayla is my photo editor,
Photography Trends and Personalization
00:03:24
Speaker
because she's amazing. And nothing, I've actually looked into this, because it was so curious, I hadn't ever heard about AI photo editing until recently. So I looked into it, I was like, what's this? Like, that sounds interesting. And from what I've seen about it, and talking to some other people who have tried it out, it just seems like, like it's still a lot of work to learn it. So it's not as easy as just handing over your gallery to someone else, there's gonna be a lot of a learning curve for you.
00:03:48
Speaker
you're still doing some of the work. And as far as I know, it's not as customizable either. It kind of goes off of your previous edits. And then if you go to upload a gallery that was a little bit different, maybe you need it edited a little bit more moody because of the lighting or the occasion, it's not going to be able to really do that. So at the moment, I would just say nothing is going to, for me personally, nothing is going to replace real people when it comes to editing.
00:04:13
Speaker
Thank you, so nice of you to say. And yeah, with any competition ever in the industry, just continue to market you, yourself, you've got this and you are irreplaceable. The other segment of our community news is the trending topic of film and film style photography coming back into circulation. I personally really like this trend.
00:04:36
Speaker
it's it's a trend all the way from film style photography so like blurring your photos a little bit more playing around with your flash a little bit more and just certain like angles and compositions that you might have never thought of before becoming more popular i'm really enjoying that i'm enjoying it coming across my desk just more unique and kind of timeless photography in that sense all the way to actual film photography with like
00:05:00
Speaker
physical photos and a darkroom becoming more popular. I've seen some photographers start to offer. They work out of their own darkroom and put together a photo book by hand. And I think that's a really cool trend that I'm seeing and it's super, super fun. So I've been enjoying seeing that. Yeah, I've been enjoying that too. I really think it's fun to kind of get out of the stuff you typically do and kind of bring that creativity back to the front of your mind.
00:05:23
Speaker
And if you're curious about getting into that, I know a lot of photographers who've actually invested in real film cameras, and I love their work, I love what they're doing with that, but if you're just kind of curious and want to dip your toes in, there are some like digital cameras that mimic film photography, so you can look into those. Yeah, there's like a lot of options if you're just curious about it, everything from like editing your photos just to like filming, just to getting like a digital camera that mimics film to actually going and getting film. So you kind of have a lot of options if you're curious about getting into that.
00:05:53
Speaker
Oh, that's good to know for sure. Yeah.
Childhood Memories and Early Friendship
00:05:56
Speaker
All right. So that was our community news segment. Now we're going to go into us talking about our origin story and our friendship. All right. So where do we even start? I suppose it goes back to us being younger than like 10 or 11, um, because our older brothers actually played soccer on the same soccer team.
00:06:16
Speaker
Yeah, it was super fun. Our county, it was just like county programmed soccer, I guess. And I remember the games were every Saturday and both of our older brothers were in the same grade and played together. So we'd be just sitting in the grass and the sidelines.
00:06:31
Speaker
Um, again, yeah. How old did we say like being six or seven or sorry, 10, 11 maybe. And, uh, there was one day, Beth, I don't remember. I don't know if you remember this, but like we were just kind of cold playing side by side, like sort of interacting with each other, but it was around fall. Right. Cause soccer happened in the fall. So there were leaves all over the ground and without even speaking you and I just started like picking up these leaves and like tying them to this chain link fence.
00:06:58
Speaker
That was there? Yeah, to make like a leaf wall. And then a mean boy that we didn't know. I have no idea who this was, but he came and ripped all our leaves off of our chain link fence. He ripped apart our leaf wall. And we were so sad. And my mom came over and was like, hey, you put all those leaves back. They worked so hard on it.
00:07:22
Speaker
Yes, your mom to the rescue. That is so fun. I totally remember that. That is I would say that's my earliest memory with you because I don't remember quite as well as you do. I think I don't remember all the times we hung out during soccer. I think what you were saying it was a lot of co-playing like just kind of being in the same area like right next to each other kind of playing with random stuff and like, you know, maybe say something to each other but
00:07:45
Speaker
It was just kind of like, oh, this is that little girl that I see when I go to soccer, my brother's soccer games. It wasn't really a connection. I didn't really know who you were, but I do remember that memory specifically.
00:07:56
Speaker
right that's why yeah that's why it popped in my brain i was like i think that's my earliest like time of us hanging out and then um we went to the same church so that's how we continued to like grow up together but we kind of had different friend groups for a while like we knew each other but we had different friend groups because you went to a christian school in our town and then i was homeschooled um but we still went to the same church so some of our friends definitely overlapped but like we
00:08:24
Speaker
existed. We didn't really, like we weren't friends at the time, really. No, we weren't. And I think one of the reasons we weren't friends is because we did go to the same church, but my family only really went to church on Sundays. I wasn't involved in any of the extracurriculars, if you will. I didn't go to the Wednesday night kid groups or anything. And I know you did. And so that's how you actually knew some of the other people, some of the other kids at church. I didn't know any of the other kids at church. My only friends were people at school. I didn't have any other friends besides that.
00:08:54
Speaker
right right and you went to a pretty small school so right and yeah and it's kind of funny Beth and I talk about this all the time how like somehow within our groups we were just misfits in some way or another I still never really figured out why but uh just didn't quite fit into the groups that we had chosen each in our separate like homeschool and christian school groups and
00:09:16
Speaker
I make this joke as an adult because I can laugh at it now. But even though I was homeschooled, I still got very much bullied. And usually people laugh. I'm like, I got bullied at homeschool. It wasn't by my siblings. Well, it was a little bit. But also, I guess I'll explain how, because everyone's homeschool life is different, but we still had homeschool charter school groups that we went to two to three times a week that had art classes.
00:09:44
Speaker
math class here and there so we still kind of had like small little classes we would go to so we were still very much socialized and it was the friends within there that kind of ended up like bullying me essentially right exactly so you still had like a school you were going to on the days that you weren't just home when you were home school yeah like it varied year to year but generally two to three days a week we had uh
00:10:09
Speaker
classes we go to and they were broken up. So say we went on Tuesday and Thursday, Tuesday might be art and drama and Thursday might be like math and piano or something like that. They were kind of broken up like that. And then for every other day we were home. Yeah. I mean, I tell you, it's something about groups of girls between like the ages of 10 and 14. Like it was so strange because like being mean and the bullying, it was kind of sneaky.
00:10:35
Speaker
And I think that's why we all stayed friends. Like you were talking about your friend group and then my friend group, we all stayed friends for so long because it wasn't always outright bullying. I mean, bullying, I don't know if it's just changed over the years, but it's not like what you see in movies. It's so subtle. And it's just a process of like breaking down someone's self confidence.
00:10:51
Speaker
breaking down, you know, how they feel about themselves and to exalt yourself as the, you know, as the bully. And I just, it's just so sad. It's not always very obvious. And sometimes you don't even notice it until you're looking back and you're like, wow, that was like, that was bad.
00:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, no, I'll talk to my mom about it sometimes, and I'll be like, but things were fine. And my mom's like, no, Ayla, you were being singled out and bullied. And I'm like, oh, okay. Especially when you compare it to young boys who are 10 and 11, they might just punch each other, and then they eat lunch together five minutes later, and they just go about their lives. But girls, it's years.
00:11:27
Speaker
I always found out, specifically, pairs were okay. Like you could hang out in pairs. If it was you and one other friend going to someone's house like that usually was fine. But if there were groups, it was all over. Like three or more, there was like just groups that would pair against other groups within sleepovers and stuff. It was really weird. And my mom even
00:11:49
Speaker
started giving me her cell phone when I went to group sleepovers in case I needed to call her to have her come get me because I would be too shy to ask the parents of the household if I could use their phone and there was like one parent that didn't like let me like it was super late at night and I was like I need to call my mom and they were like no don't bother your mother and I was like um
00:12:09
Speaker
Okay, so my mom started giving me her cell phone and my mom was such a legend She was like you can I don't care what time it is. I don't care what the situation is I don't care what's going on if you need if you don't want to be at the sleepover anymore You call me and I did take advantage of that not often but I think two or three times in yeah the middle of the night I had her I had her come get me and That's good
00:12:34
Speaker
My mom was so awesome. She really had my back through all this. Like she knew what was happening. She worked at one of the homeschool groups that I went to. And this is like a smaller story, but she she was using the bathroom and two girls who were kind of mean to me walked into the bathroom and didn't know she was in there. And they were talking about me. I don't even remember what they were saying.
00:12:55
Speaker
And we were probably like, I don't know, Ayla's weird, she looks dumb today, whatever. And my mom came out of the stall and was like, excuse me? Yeah, go carry in. Yeah, oh my gosh. And she told me that later. And I was like, thanks for sticking up for me.
00:13:11
Speaker
And we guys, I just want to preface, we share these stories. We're adults, we can laugh at it. We are by no way airing out like anything we'd call trauma or anything like that. We have no ill will towards like these people or these stories. It was a super long time ago. This was just kind of this
00:13:29
Speaker
this is a preface of how Beth and I became friends and why we're including it and you can hear we're laughing at it like we don't care anymore yes exactly we're not saying this because we're bitter or anything we just don't care um but it is really important to how we become became friends and it's actually central i think to why our friendship worked so well um because you know i was in a similar i was in a similar boat um for me it was mostly at school
00:13:53
Speaker
Because like you said, one-on-one was pretty much better when you're hanging out with someone one-on-one. But for example, I think I was a, I don't know what grade it was honestly, but like one time our class was like waiting outside the classroom to go inside after like a recess. And I was wearing this like new shirt that I was super excited about. I mostly wore like hand-me-downs and like thrifted stuff. So I got a new, yeah exactly. Which I didn't mind so much well until this year. I was a little bit like self-conscious about it, but I didn't think it was a big deal until this day. But I was excited about this shirt.
00:14:23
Speaker
I was excited about this shirt, whatever, right? So once someone in my class said something like, oh, like, is that shirt new or whatever? And I just said, yeah, it is. And they were like, oh, it's not really your style. And I just kind of asked, I was so confused. I was like, what do you mean by that?
00:14:40
Speaker
and they proceeded to say, oh, you know, your style is just like pants that are too short, dorky shirts, clunky tennis shoes, like, you know, like a flat, flat hair with the middle part, literally started listing everything I was ever self-conscious about and all the things I was secretly worried about. And this was in front of the entire class, like did not relent. This person did not like, like have any grace at all. And even one person, thankfully one person did say something like at the end, they were like, that was kind of mean.
00:15:08
Speaker
And the person that said all this stuff was like, well, I'm just being honest. So I mean, it's just things like that. But like this kind of thing that kept, Ayla and I kept being singled out in our groups by people for whatever reason, being singled out. And we were kind of the ones who were put down, our self-confidence just kept taking
00:15:27
Speaker
hits. And I think Ayla, you were probably the same way. I just sat and took it. I really didn't start speaking up for myself. I did nothing about it. And I don't know why, but I was just like, okay. And I'd go have lunch with them at school all the next day or whatever. It hadn't happened. What are you going to do? There's no one else. For myself at least, it wasn't until my friendship with you got stronger that I realized it's really not okay to be treated like this. This isn't normal. I had serious self-confidence issues for years. And I know that you probably did too.
00:15:56
Speaker
And Ayla, you were the one who helped me gain my voice and my confidence, not even directly. You weren't telling me like, you know, you got this or you're amazing. It was just by you accepting me as I was and allowing me to grow on my own and be my own person. Like we'll talk more about that. I'm sure in a second.
00:16:13
Speaker
Right. It's so true. We didn't have a problem with each other at all. There was no need to point anything out about each other if we wore a new outfit or tried a new thing. We were like, that was so cool. That looks great on you. It's just completely different. Exactly. It was just such a revolutionary friendship for me. I never had anything like that. I think the final straw, actually maybe for both of us, was like the sleepover. We're going to tell you a second about this. There was a lot of sleepover.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yes, exactly. When Ayla and I say the sleepover, we're kind of giving each other the side of the sleepover. There was a time. Yes. It was like some sleepover, it might've been a birthday party or something like that, and we were both just not having a good time. And it was kind of the first time, it was actually the first time, now that I think of this back, that our two friend groups had merged. The church group was like a couple of people from my school. Yeah, exactly. You and I had never really
00:17:11
Speaker
we had already met and become friends but you know we'll get into that in a second how we met but like we I think we or had we met yet wait I can't we met like we we knew who each other was and we knew each other's families but we hadn't our official meeting yet I think it was only like at church like the church you know um would have like Sunday school like that the sixth grade girls would go to and you and I went together to that
00:17:36
Speaker
But I'm mostly positive this was the first, if not one of the first like sleepovers that we were both at. Yeah. I think you're right. Yep. Now that you say that totally jogs my memory. We hadn't had our official like one-on-one meeting with each other yet. Okay. That's right. But this sleepover, yeah, we weren't having a good time. And I, I noticed that you weren't either. And again, it was one of those hard things cause I didn't know you really. And, um, you know, I didn't know why everyone was being so mean.
00:18:01
Speaker
to you like you know i just want to be your friend i liked you i was like oh this this girl's nice like she's friends with these people i'm sure that you know she's a great person but people were just being so mean to you and i noticed you know your just expressions you just started to get more and more like just disheartened it looked like throughout the night and just like i was like what is going on like i don't like this but again i was so shy i hadn't learned to speak up for myself yet so i didn't know how to speak up for other people either
00:18:27
Speaker
Yeah. And I think I remember looking back, like I remember what problems were going on in that sleepover. I don't have to get into it. It was just this mob mentality of like, yeah, whatever. Yeah.
00:18:40
Speaker
So I kind of remember like the evening started fun and then slowly I just got more and more quiet like I'm not really having a good time but I'll stay here whatever and I noticed you were not one of those people like you you were quiet too like you weren't one of the people who had anything bad to say about me or anything to make fun of me for like you you were quiet as well and I did definitely notice that I was like she's oh wow
00:19:04
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, it was kind of a neutral thought. Like I wasn't like, best at least being nice to me, but I was like, she's here and she's not like engaging in any of this right now. And that painting. Yeah. And that really did stick out to me for sure. Well, that's such a big thing too, because, you know, in these groups that we're talking about, it's so easy for people to, I think, get swept up in the teasing and the bullying and the cutting down that like, when you're just simply not that person, you kind of stand out to the person who's being picked on.
00:19:31
Speaker
And so not again, it wasn't a conscious effort. I was so uncomfortable. It wasn't a conscious effort on my part. I was just like, what is going on? Like this is not the vibe. Like what the heck? So we're 10 and we're just trying to have like a princess sleepover or whatever it was. I was there for the ice cream and cake. Let's be honest. I was there for the ice cream and cake. Like, I don't know why I had to turn into something so vicious. So I was very confused.
00:19:53
Speaker
And I think I'd say about 80% of the people there, I didn't even know. I knew the one who was hosting the party, of course. And I recognized your face, but had never again really been like friends with you. So I was very out of place as well. Yeah. And I think this actually just now popped into my brain, but I think, you know, I told my mom about that night, like when she picked me up the next day, I told her like, you know, what happened. And I was like, everyone was just being so mean. And she was like, well, Beth Glaser was there. Like, was she being mean? And I was like, no, she was okay. Like, so like,
00:20:21
Speaker
she asked because she knew each friend that was at these places and she was like oh it was being mean you know wanted to find out i was like no beth was nice and so that kind of like i think she must have said something of like well maybe like next time you should go hang out with beth and i was like okay like yeah she that i'm just remembering that but i'm pretty sure she was like maybe next time if like you and beth can just hang out with each other and let
00:20:49
Speaker
And I was like, that's a good point. And that's kind of like leads into our like story story. There was a day where Beth and I, it's kind of, okay, so this is a funny story. It's a bit of an inside joke. I don't know how funny it is to like everybody, but we were reminiscing about this a few days ago and we just thought it was too cute not to, not to share. Oh yeah.
00:21:10
Speaker
I mean, yeah, this is the story you guys though. Like this is how we met. Like as goofy and silly as it is, you know? It's us. It's just always how we've been. Yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah. So
Pivotal Moments and Deepening Bonds
00:21:22
Speaker
to put it in context, imagine the sleepover, the sleepover that we just talked about.
00:21:26
Speaker
probably a couple of weeks after that is maybe roughly around when this happened, but both of our parents, uh, worked at the church that we both went to. And I forget what day it was of the week, but they would have like staff meeting and every now and again, Beth and I would end up with these staff meetings because our moms were in them. And so we were just like,
00:21:44
Speaker
outside of the church playing or whatever. And on this day we both happened to be there while our moms were in meetings. So we were like, okay, like we'll just play. And it's kind of hard to explain, but our church campus is pretty big and all outside and there's multiple like paths and kind of staircases to take you from one building to another. And we were sitting on this set of concrete stairs, just like talking. And then there was a path that kind of swirled and looped up to the sanctuary where our parents were in.
00:22:13
Speaker
And over time, people, this is so random, but like over time, people had kind of made their own natural like footpaths around the stairs or like cutting through the concrete paths. So over time, the ground had worn down into these new paths that people were taking for some reason instead of the stairs.
00:22:30
Speaker
Yeah, they're just ignoring the stairs and cutting through. And then eventually our church noticed that and in one of the paths that had been worn down, they built concrete stairs over it. And this was huge news to us Christian, you know, homeschooled Christian school kids. Our church had put in stairs covering one of the paths and we went to town talking about that for some reason. We were like, well, like people made their own path and they finally like put stairs over it. And it was you were it was one of us who was like,
00:23:00
Speaker
what if they just like made a new path next to the stairs and like still just refused to use the stairs? Well yeah because remember this was like there was one set of stairs to the left then there was the path that everyone cut through to and so they built stairs over that and so we were just kind of like okay this is one set of staircases like five feet from the other set of staircases that take you to the same spot but people are just going to keep cutting around
00:23:22
Speaker
They were like, they must refuse to use stairs. So what if, and this guys, this devolved into like a two hour conversation. Two hours, two full hours. Nonstop about like these stairs. And like, we basically, we'll spare you most of the details, but eventually we got to the point, the concept was like, the church is going to keep building stairs and people are going to keep refusing to use them. And we were like, they're going to go around.
00:23:50
Speaker
they're gonna go around suddenly the entire church campus is just gonna be a mound of stairs so people are gonna like catapult themselves to where they need to go because they're gonna refuse to use the stairs and then they're gonna start flying and then the world will become stairs or something like that.
00:24:06
Speaker
And as goofy as it sounds, you guys, like this, I was serious. We were doing so much fun. Well, so like in the progression of this was like, okay, so we're sitting there, you know, hadn't talked to each other yet. Kind of awkward. Like, okay, here's this person. I should probably like talk to this person. Cause our moms and the staff meeting, like we have nothing to do for the next two hours. So we kind of like start talking a little bit and we're just like, Oh, what's there to talk about?
00:24:26
Speaker
These stairs are right here. And then kind of progressed as getting goofier and goofier with each other. And just, I can't even explain it. That feeling of being able to get lost in a conversation with someone, talking about the goofiest stuff. And we just kept matching each other's goofy energy. We just kept getting, like, as soon as I said something that maybe if I'd said it to anybody else, they would have looked at me like, okay, you freak, I'm done talking to you. At one point, at one point, we'd start talking about dinosaurs.
00:24:53
Speaker
In relation to the stairs, it does not make any sense. I don't doubt it. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that. I was like, they're gonna bring dinosaurs back to life just so they can take giant steps over the stairs and avoid them. You guys, well, exposing ourselves right now. The point was though- Two hours, you guys. It was madness.
00:25:12
Speaker
but only about stairs. When I say we did not branch out to any other topic at all. And so it was just like, it was amazing. Like right after that, you know, it was like, whoa. I remember getting in the car and going home and processing. This is the best day of my life. That was so much fun. Exactly. I was like, wait a second.
00:25:33
Speaker
I need to be her friend. I have never felt that comfortable around a person and just had so much fun. I just, and I was like, wait, did I just talk to her for two hours about stairs? I hope she doesn't think I'm weird. There was also that like exciting factor of like, I need to hang out with her.
00:25:51
Speaker
And a little bit of a fear of like, if she likes me, I just realized I just talked to this girl for two hours about stairs. I was in the same boat. Like, yeah. Like I told my mom, I was like, I hung out with Beth all day and it was fun. Like, yeah, I was in the same boat. Oh, see, exactly. But you know, we didn't know. We discovered that because we would discover that because right after that we kept hanging out.
00:26:12
Speaker
um but yeah i realized i hadn't had that experience before of a non-judgmental friend and that was a really big turning point for me of course as we continued to hang out and i found out that she was actually genuine is actually genuine you know yeah yeah and i was saying too like this like goes further into my life and stuff but like based on everything we talked about a few minutes ago with like the bullying and stuff like i had a really hard time trusting
00:26:35
Speaker
Every single other friend I made after that for a long time like well into college and stuff I always just kind of like had that possibility of like I'm gonna go hang out with these people one day and it's not gonna be good Like that was just a worry I had for kind of a while and this is like I'll tell this story maybe another time but like I ended up traveling for a few years and living in community living and stuff and The first time I ever flew overseas to go like live in this community setting. I prepared myself for that to happen again I was like Ayla you got to be prepared
00:27:05
Speaker
them to not like you like you've never really been liked by big groups you're gonna have to prepare to do this solo because like people aren't gonna like you and then I got there and it was fine and I realized people don't bully for no reason and when you grow up and come out of that everything's better but like Beth was the one friend that I just didn't have that worry with like I never had to worry
00:27:26
Speaker
that you were going to be weird to me one day or anything like that. Like, yeah, it was just like our friendship started and we had no reason to fight. We had no reason to compete. We were just like, that's just how, that's just how it went. Yeah, same. Exactly the same. Didn't have to worry that you were talking about me behind my back, you know, all that kind of stuff.
00:27:44
Speaker
And then from then on, that's like the, like the years that follow that day, the stairs day was like the golden years, like just some of my favorite memories. Um, this is kind of funny though. So, okay. So I say the golden years of our friendship and we started getting into high school, but oddly enough, we went to the same high school. And again, we had different friend groups in high school.
00:28:06
Speaker
like we'd pass each other at school and be like oh hi but like we like didn't talk at high school but when summer came that was our territory that was like you and i hung out with each other in the summer i never tell my high school friends during the summer it was like our time
00:28:21
Speaker
Summer was for you. Summer was for Beth and Ayla. That's what it was. Well, and I will say though, to preface the high school thing though, we were in different grades and I think that affected it. You and I have talked about that before briefly. I think if we were in the same grade and had transitioned to high school together, we probably would have hung out a little bit more at school, but just so happened that we were in different grades, you were your head of me. So we had our own friends naturally from our classes.
00:28:45
Speaker
And I did theater. I was a theater kid and you were more like into like sports and like the academic clubs and stuff like that. But yeah, like whenever summer came around, it was like part of what made it so great is my family is lucky and blessed enough to have this cabin on this lake that's in our town. Amazing lake destination. And so we would go hang out there. And my mom was like super great about our friendship and just like loved the friends that we had become.
00:29:14
Speaker
So whenever my parents were up at the lake, she was like, get Beth up here for like a week. Like just get her to like come up here and camp out. So we would hike, we'd kayak, we'd go to like the snack shack that was there all day, just like out in the sun, just hanging out.
00:29:30
Speaker
and just talking nonstop about whatever was going on. Exactly. Never ran out of things to talk about somehow. But it was just my favorite days were when we would wake up, because we would sleep outside on the porch area outside on the big deck. That was always so funny. We kept feeling so refreshed. We'd wake up. We'd have breakfast. We'd literally get up immediately, pull out the kayaks, put on our swimsuits, and go kayak across the lake the entire way. It was a long time. It was a bigger lake, too.
00:29:58
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Then we'd park the kayaks and we'd carry the paddles with us to where we'd walk to the little grocery store or to the little snack shack and we'd get like either a popsicle or we would get fries and ice cream. That's a funny story. We had to get soft serve ice cream and fries from this place. Anyone else who knows the place we're talking about will understand best combination. We almost named this podcast fries and ice cream.
00:30:23
Speaker
because of that but that's the best tasting combination specifically from this snack check too and then we would like you know sit and eat that then we kayak all the way back across the lake and then we would like swim and we would we would like dive down the water
00:30:38
Speaker
We could spend hours diving down, getting the biggest rock that we could, and either trying to swim it up or walk it up. I mean, again, maybe to you guys, this sounds so random and dumb, but I'm just telling you, time of my life, if I could go back and relive any of these days, I totally would. Then we'd be like, tuckered out, so we'd lay out in the sun, get super sunburned, eat strawberries, listen to music, I don't even know. Oh yeah, absolutely.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yep. And then we'd go and like rinse off and get in like sweat pants. And that was always the best feeling. Cause as the night started to get colder, you get into like sweat pants and go in front of the heater. And then we would like go to sleep outside and do it all again the next day. And we would just crash out every night. We'd get into bed and we were like, and then we'd wake up and be like, let's do it again. Yep. All summer basically.
00:31:23
Speaker
Exactly. If we weren't kayaking to across the lake, then we were walking around the lake, which would take like two hours and we would just walk around the lake. It was so much fun. So, um, and one interesting thing about this, I had some pretty strict parents with sleepovers who were only ever allowed to do like one, one night for sleepovers. Um, like we couldn't do like two nights in a row and I'm sure a lot of parents are probably like that as well, but this was my first time ever experiencing my parents letting me go for two nights in a row. Right. So like was at the cabin.
00:31:52
Speaker
And that was a, yeah, that was a big deal. I remember you were like, I could just stay for two nights and like every summer we were able to weasel a few more.
00:31:59
Speaker
I was like three, I was like four because my mom was a big pusher. She was like, I want Beth around. Like my mom always just really liked you. And she was like, let's like get her up here. Like as long as she wants to come basically, like you were welcome as long as you could be there, which was so cool. Exactly.
Parental Influence on Friendship
00:32:14
Speaker
I love that. And I think my, you know, my parents obviously recognized our friendship, how great it was. And so they were like, you know what? Oh, it's for it's with Ayla. Oh, it's at the bucks cabin. Yeah. She, she can go another night. So that was so great at having that, you know, that friendship nurtured even by our parents.
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah, and that was like a random point I didn't think I was going to want to make this point until I sat to do this outline but like our parents played a super big part in our friendship and just like yet letting us have those extra nights together.
00:32:44
Speaker
letting us have a bit more independence to like go walk around on our own and stuff like that. Like they just helped encourage what was a really good friendship so much and kind of like I wanted to say for any parents that are out there listening who have kids, boys or girls in this similar age, any age really,
00:33:01
Speaker
If you notice that they're just like developing this awesome friendship that's like there's they're kind to each other. They laugh all the time. That's who they want to hang out with like do what you can to nurture that like encourage them to keep seeing that friend. I know you might not always want to like
00:33:17
Speaker
give kids rides to each other's houses i know that can be a pain for sure but if you're able to do it as much as possible stuff like that because you know we're 10 we're not driving or anything like that um because sometimes parents just don't want to drive you places and that's completely fair but if you ever find yourself able to i definitely recommend nurturing friendships like that as much as possible because it might be a lifelong friend for that child so
00:33:39
Speaker
Yeah. And also it teaches those kids how to pick the good friends too. Because again, neither of us had great friends before this. So it kind of taught us, oh, you can have high standards for your friends. You don't come home crying after you spend the night at their house. That's probably a good thing.
00:33:54
Speaker
Exactly. So this like this was the dynamic for us eighth grade all the way through high school was like summer was just like party time. And then well, you know, good Christian kid party time. Strawberries on the dock after swimming party time. Yeah, exactly. No. Yeah. But then of course, you grow up.
00:34:16
Speaker
Work happens, college happens. I specifically remember the first summer that I had like a job because I didn't work in high school, but then I got a job right after I graduated high school. And I remember you texting me being like, do you want to hang out this day? Do you want to hang out this day? And I was like, no, sorry, I work, sorry, I work. And then that was life. And then that's just the way it's been. Yeah. Yep. That was the transition into how it was going to be forever.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah, and life changed a little bit. I went on to community college just within our county and Beth was fishing up high school. And at first our friendship stayed the same, like still pretty steady, everything was good. I actually remember, oh gosh, okay, this is another story, but I'll tell it quickly.
00:34:57
Speaker
Beth, do you remember I was I was going to school, you were finishing your senior year, and there was one day you just like didn't want to be at school. And you texted me I was in a class and I like left my class because you texted me and you were like, you call me and get me out of school. Yes. Oh my gosh, exposing me right now. Oh, this is this is what
00:35:17
Speaker
I stepped out of class because you were like I need your help I need you and I thought it was an emergency and I was like what you were like I don't want to be here I want to go get like McDonald's or something can you call and pretend to be my mom and say I have to go to the dentist so I can just like leave you were gonna come back too like you weren't trying to flee you just wanted to leave and go get a snack and come back and so I did I called our high school
00:35:41
Speaker
And I knew Beth's mom well, and is a small high school. They're not checking any of this stuff. And I knew Beth's mom's voice well enough. So I was just like, hi, Bethany Glazier has a dentist appointment at this time. Can she please get a note? And then she'll be back at this time. And they did. And they were like, OK. And you texted me. You were like, mission successful. I'm out. I was like, dude, that worked. I had forgotten about that. Oh, no. Until you just brought that up. Oh, geez. Well, here's hoping my family isn't listening to this episode.
00:36:08
Speaker
You know, however many years ago that was, I thought it was so funny. So anyways, the vibes were still good for the first little bit after I got out of high school. But then like a couple years later or a year or so later, Beth ended up going to
00:36:23
Speaker
School as well a few hours away from our town So this was the first bit of like distance put in between us. I googled it the other day. You were like three hours away Yeah, and then this enters into a sad period of a little over I think two years or so where we really didn't talk much
00:36:44
Speaker
Like we just kind of let things dissolve for a little while. I personally remember I was going through a really weird part of my life, which I might talk about on a different day, but like I just kind of fell away from the Lord for a little while and went on this path of not really the best decisions, but like you Beth, you didn't. Like when you went to school, you like maintained your relationship with the Lord and like your just standards for life and stuff, which I really admire to this day. Like I always admired you for that.
00:37:12
Speaker
but I didn't and I wasn't making the best choices so I was kind of like Beth's being so good and like just started this weird like we took two different paths that weren't getting along for a while I suppose yeah and of course the distance didn't help either with this um but yeah just that natural drifting that you hear about sometimes it was of course just extra sad because it was you know our friendship um but I think we were both going through a lot of things and not checking in on each other um you know just trying to handle it ourselves
00:37:41
Speaker
Like, you know, me trying to adjust to a new town and college and you, you know, going through your stuff in life. So kind of that natural drifting and then not even being in the same town made a big difference.
00:37:52
Speaker
Yeah. And like not even texting each other to like check in and stuff.
College Years and Reconnection
00:37:55
Speaker
We just kind of like let each other do their own thing. And I remember this period of time, like we weren't really talking. Some little fights had even happened within this point. Like, because we never fought. And then, and I remember the fights and what they were about. They were so dumb, but like they, they happened. And my college graduation was coming up. And I remember this time specifically, we like, we're not talking.
00:38:17
Speaker
And I think I'd see you post on Instagram and I was like, whatever Beth, like, I don't know. I don't know what it was. Like, I didn't invite you to my college graduation. I didn't like nothing really, but you were there and you surprised me by coming there all the way from school, like three hours away. And you brought me like balloons and I think flowers and stuff. And I saw you from my seat down in the stadium, like it was a basketball stadium and all the graduates are like down on the court.
00:38:44
Speaker
and I looked up and I saw you with like balloons and flowers and I and that was it none of the fights mattered none of the stuff mattered like I was so I was just so happy I know
00:38:58
Speaker
Don't mind us. Pause the podcast. I'm gonna cry. Oh my gosh. What the heck? I saw you and I was dating someone at the time and I just nudged him and I was like, Beth's here. Beth came here. Oh my gosh.
00:39:14
Speaker
And then the graduation happened, and I went out to just hug you, and it was over. The weird couple years we had were just done. I didn't care anymore. Same, exactly. I remember that. I mean, of course, I didn't know your perspective until now. But yeah, that was it. That was it. I don't think we ever fought again, genuinely. No, we still had to relearn how to revamp our long-distance friendship, but we never fought again. We just picked up our friendship back from where we left it off.
00:39:42
Speaker
And, you know, we went back to the lake. We watched movies together. You know, we did all the things that we used to do. But then, of course, I mean, Ayla, then you kind of transitioning a little bit further on. You started your couple of years of traveling. So once again, we found ourselves navigating, I mean, long distance, even even further long distance. Yeah. Yeah. It was so crazy. Like we did this couple of years where we weren't very close. Finally, like
00:40:09
Speaker
rekindle their friendship. And then I just left. I was like, Okay, bye. But for that period of time, things were really sporadic. I was in and out of the United States for months at a time, I was doing mission work in like third world countries, who sometimes just didn't have contact period with anybody. Um, so we weren't really Beth and I weren't really calling or FaceTiming often, but the dynamic was more so like when we were back in town, then boom, things hadn't changed right back to normal, like,
00:40:35
Speaker
We made sure to see each other and that like that worked out pretty well I would say so that kind of gave me hope that like because after our kind of our scare of not talking for a little while And then kind of becoming best friends again. It was kind of scary I was definitely scared when you went off I was so happy for you and so excited, but I was also like I'm I definitely cried I think a little bit I was like, oh my gosh, like I hope this isn't damage, but we just got back and
00:40:58
Speaker
But yeah, you'd come back and it was just the same as before. I mean, we would still like go hang out. Oh, one of our favorite things, you know what I would love doing with you is in like January when it was all snowy at the lake. So for those of you who don't know, the small town we lived in, it is in California, but it was a part of California that gets a lot of snow. Like most people, when they think of California, they're like, oh, like you lived at the beach. Like no, we lived in a mountain town. Yeah. Yes, exactly. And so that lake we were talking about earlier with her cabin,
00:41:27
Speaker
We loved going there in like the winter and we would do like cold jumps together. We would literally break through. There were times that I remember I think we broke ice to jump in.
00:41:39
Speaker
Yup. Yes. That was, and for some reason that was like, yeah, after all this, like the times I was traveling and stuff, whenever we were home, if it was winter, we'd be like, let's go to the lake. Let's jump in the water. Like just again, right on brand for how we are. Yep. There was kind of that, at least on my end, I think there was like that desperation of like, when you're home, I'm going to cram in everything I can with you and just like all those good things that we love. Like it didn't matter if it was winter or summer. If I was with you, I wanted to go up to that lake and you don't get those memories back and creating memories. So.
00:42:08
Speaker
And we wanted to swim, so we were like, it's January, but we're just gonna swim anyway. We're both such big water bugs. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, then of course our bigger moves happened. We moved even further away. Even further, because we just cannot get enough distance, I guess, between each other. No, I of course moved from California over to Hawaii, which is where I am now.
00:42:34
Speaker
Right. And then I moved in summer of 2021. I moved from California to Canada to be with my husband, Chris. So, uh, farther and again, like we mentioned in our intro, just opposite ends of everything, basically. Yep. A tropical climate versus like wintery. And then of course now it's now it's just different countries. So now we're just even in different countries, which is hilarious. Um,
00:42:59
Speaker
And I think, let's see, so about a year past, maybe a little bit under, I'd say actually I think a little bit under, a year past us living in different countries. And we would call here and there, you know, like FaceTime calls. And we were always commenting on like Instagram, each other's posts and stuff like that.
00:43:17
Speaker
Then on one of our calls, we were just like, you know what? Our friendship is important. Like we miss each other so much when we don't talk. We need to make this a monthly thing. Just regular, as regular as we can. Yeah. We started physically, yeah, we started physically marking our calendars, like real calendars, like paper ones that we keep on the wall with the next date and time. So we wouldn't miss it. So we'd call and we'd be like, okay, what's exactly a month from now? That date? Perfect. And like,
00:43:44
Speaker
And we wouldn't miss it. Or sometimes the day would come and we were like, oh, today got a little busy. Let's do tomorrow. But we'd always reschedule and we'd always make it. And that was so much better than going like months and months and months without talking. We were like once a month, like we are making time for this.
00:43:59
Speaker
So this is a huge part of how we got started with this podcast and actually how we came to the name of the art of intention. Our friendship is so important to us. And there was a period of time where we completely could have let it go, unmaintained and just dissolve. Right. And like this is a decision, everything we've talked about is a decision with several important people in my life that I've made. Like moving away to a whole country in general made me, you know, do that with all kinds of friendships in my life where
00:44:28
Speaker
it's so easy to grow apart and lose track of each other. So there's a conscious moment where like both parties in the friendship decide to not let that happen. So it's like that's just a part of adulthood and moving away and growing up that's become really
00:44:41
Speaker
important to me being intentional with the friendships that you want to keep in your life. So Beth, I guess in wrapping up this episode, what would you say are a few like active and intentional things that you and I do to maintain our friendship or active things you've done with other friendships in your life? Like for the people listening who may be in a similar boat,
00:45:04
Speaker
What do you think some advice we can pass along? Yeah, that's a great question. I would say first and foremost, prioritizing times where you can talk to each other, like actually talking, whether it's a FaceTime call or a phone call. Like what we were just talking about, we do our monthly FaceTimes and getting those dates actually on the calendar. That's just going to really spring you into whatever else you need to do to maintain your friendship. You know, you'll kind of figure out what
00:45:29
Speaker
you need when you're doing your phone calls. Um, but you know, also just like messaging you when I wanted life updates, commenting on your Instagram, or if you made an announcement, I'd make sure to like message you and say, well, let's call. I want to hear about that. So just, it's really just as simple as that. Yeah. Cause whatever you need to do to maintain your friendship, it'll come naturally if you start just talking to each other. Yeah, definitely. And I kind of remember too, I didn't write this part down, but like, uh,
00:45:58
Speaker
We just pray for each other too. For any believers who are listening, that's always really good advice too. Whenever you'd pop into my head, I was like, I'm just going to pray for Beth. Whether or not you were going through anything, I was like, I'm just going to pray she has a good day, or I'm going to pray for this. I do that with a lot of my friends from home. Whenever I think about them, I'm just like, I'll pray. Then I'll text them. I'll be like, I thought about you today. Little text of thinking about you.
00:46:21
Speaker
Praying for you, is there anything you need prayer for? Like can make a really big difference. So I'm not the best at it, but I do try to do that with like any friends from home that I don't always keep up with. Wow, that's amazing. I love that piece of advice. I do think I did that like with you as well and some family members, but I should probably get better about that. Yeah.
00:46:39
Speaker
but also I'll like tell people too like if I have friends that ask do you need prayer for anything I'll really try to sit back and take a moment and just think about that and do that vice versa it's just it's really powerful but yeah so good all of that was so good this was fun this was so fun yes it was I loved this me too I think we needed it to just like sit reminisce
00:47:02
Speaker
Just share some fun stories that we think are really fun.
Intentionality in Friendships
00:47:05
Speaker
We'll leave it up to you guys if you found this episode fun. We are having a ball. But I really hope we can keep covering topics like this that revolve around friendships and relationships and things like that because I truly believe it's an important topic that shouldn't be ignored.
00:47:23
Speaker
Um, before we started our monthly facetimes, I would find myself just feeling like kind of lonely and missing home. And those really helped reground me and like bring me back. So I think the topic of friendship is a way bigger deal than people might make it out to be.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I agree. I again have learned over the years how much joy my friendship with you brings me. So yeah, it's been great to like kind of bring me back to joy every time we talk. And like we say with everything in life, being intentional with your friendships is really worth it.
00:47:53
Speaker
When you go through different careers or seasons in life, the hard stuff and the fun stuff, it's really valuable to have people that see you through all of that. People who you feel are genuine, people who bring you joy, people who make you feel safe and heard, those are the friendships to really nurture and to have grace with you. If there is a little bit of time in between talking to each other, do your part and just pick it up where you left off and you'll find that it's increasingly easier to navigate those friendships and to maintain them.
00:48:22
Speaker
Absolutely. If any of our listeners have advice about how you maintain friendships in adulthood over long distance or wherever you're at in life, we want to hear from you.
00:48:32
Speaker
You can send us an email, you can DM us on Instagram, or you can actually head to our Instagram stories right now. We've all asked you there for your friendship advice on our stories. So go ahead and fill that out if you have anything. If we get enough answers, we would love to compile it for a future episode. We're thinking about compiling like listener advice for navigating friendships. So feel free to
00:48:55
Speaker
Send us your friendship stories and advice wherever you see fit, like I said, Instagram stories, email, DMs, anything like that. Yes, that would be so fun. Oh my gosh, yes, please do because I want to hear that from other people too. So along with that, you know, feel free to send us your thoughts on this episode, any other topics you'd like us to cover. You can even tell us again about previous episodes, what your thoughts were on those.
00:49:20
Speaker
Give us a follow if you haven't already so you never miss a new episode and so you don't miss all these Resources that we put on Instagram because you know, we'll talk about things in this podcast We keep mentioning, you know that we'll link things in our stories and on our Instagram So go ahead and give that a follow if you haven't already
00:49:34
Speaker
Yeah, we're super active on there, always keeping everyone up to date with our more educational episodes. We include all kinds of resources every week. So you definitely won't want to miss out on those. You can find all of that at Art of Intention podcast on Instagram. And just for fun for our individual businesses, you can find me at Ayla B. Edits, and you can find Beth at Beth Schweitzer Photography. Thank you so much, you guys, for being here and for going along with our goopiness and silliness this episode. And I hope we'll see you next week. Bye.
00:50:06
Speaker
you