Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Upcoming Mothers (feat. Janise)
96 Plays2 years ago
In this series, we are digging deeper into current and potential motherhood. We are peaking through the eyes of several different women, all in different life stages. In this episode, we are interviewing Janise!
Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome to Season 2: Focus on Future Mothers
00:00:40
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome, beautiful people. Welcome, pioneers. We are in season two through the eyes of women. And we're in upcoming mothers. And we're talking to women who don't have kids, but that want them. And we're just kind of getting a little sneak peek of what they think motherhood would be like for them. So today we have Janice.
Meet Janice: A Teacher's Journey
00:00:58
Speaker
Hello. Janice, go ahead and give us a little bit about yourself.
00:01:03
Speaker
I am 26. I was born and raised in Spokane. I am a teacher working with high schoolers right now. Next year I'll be working with middle schoolers. And yeah, that's about it. Kind of loving life right now. Ooh, if only. All right. First question. Are you expecting a child or do you want one in the future? I am not expecting, but I do want one in the future.
00:01:33
Speaker
If you said you were expecting, I was going to be like, excuse me, since when? No. I have had some kids who have asked me, some of my students have asked me if I want kids. I'm like, yes. And they're like, why don't you get? I'm like, I have some things that I would like to get done before that happens. Yeah. Just wish me to have a child yet. Heard. Are you aware you're dating?
Dating and Motherhood Aspirations
00:01:58
Speaker
Sorry. I'm dating right now.
00:02:03
Speaker
We met. Before you start, let me ask that again because I kind of cut you off. Okay, you're okay. Are you married or dating? I am currently dating. We met.
00:02:17
Speaker
At church, we were serving together at the front doors. And as you do when you're serving with someone to make it more fun, you chat with each other. That led to coffee dates and dinner dates. And we've been dating officially since October. So we will be six months. That's so exciting. Do you think you're ready to be a mom?
00:02:49
Speaker
There are days where I do think I'm ready to be a mom. And then there are days where I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. And I think the days where I don't think I'm ready are the days that the teenagers I deal with really get to me. And they kind of throw it out the door. And I'm like, I don't know how to handle you anymore. I don't know if I want this in my life yet or if I'm ready for this in my life yet.
00:03:18
Speaker
And I deal with a lot of teenagers who are handfuls.
Confidence and Concerns in Motherhood
00:03:22
Speaker
So it ebbs and flows regularly. What are you ready and prepared for as it pertains to motherhood? Um, I know how to change diapers. Done enough babysitting to where I could do that. Um, I don't know.
00:03:43
Speaker
As much as kids can get on my nerves sometimes when they don't listen to you, I feel like I can communicate with kids pretty well. And I'm very relationally focused when I deal with my students.
00:04:01
Speaker
try to be good at building relationships with them. So I think on that front, I'm pretty set, I feel like, but you never know what you're ready for because you never know what's gonna hit you. Mm-hmm. What are you unprepared for? Gosh, I think it's the hard moments that they'll go through. I know an empath.
00:04:26
Speaker
Yeah, I've dealt with this with my students. So like, if they're going through hard things, especially like, really, really hard things, heavy things, such a hard time compartmentalizing that and like, to deal with that with the children who are my own. Yeah.
Family Influence and Openness to Adoption
00:04:48
Speaker
So like, unfathomable to me right now. And working on it working with kids has been
00:04:53
Speaker
helpful in that. I'm getting to a point where I can do that more, but like, I don't know, when they're my own kid, would I? It takes practice and a lot of help and guidance and I think prayer. Amen. Is your mommy your life and how do you think that will affect your motherhood? She is. I think she'll be a lot of help.
00:05:19
Speaker
for motherhood. We are very close. And I'm very thankful for that. She's also been a labor and delivery slash mother baby. Oh, wow. For the past 30 years. And the past you know what she doing knows in the past probably
00:05:37
Speaker
12, 10 or 12 years she's been on in the lactation clinic at the hospital she's at. So she knows everything about breastfeeding and stuff that you could ever ask someone. So she's kind of like a baby whisperer. And I have some friends who have seen her for lactation and they're like, your mom's great. She's the best. So I'm very thankful to have that.
00:06:03
Speaker
That's crazy. But you got lucky. I know. I lucked out with that. She knows everything about babies. Wow. A baby person. Could you be a mother to someone else's child? I feel like it would depend on the situation. I've thought about adoption. I'm not opposed to that, especially if I can't, for whatever reason, have my own kids. Yeah. So far, I am.
00:06:32
Speaker
perfectly healthy, but you never know what happens. But I don't know, I feel like it would really depend on the situation. And currently my boyfriend does not have any kids who he has fathered previously. So I don't see that being a thing that I would have to deal with. But I don't know, I think I could do adoption if that were put on my heart. I'm not opposed to it.
00:07:02
Speaker
heard. How many kids do you want? I want at least two, but no more than four. So 44? No. No, that'd be so many. She's like pause, hold up. No.
00:07:18
Speaker
At least two. I'm a twin, so there were always two of us. I know you were a twin. Yep, I have a twin brother, and so there are always two of us. And it's super easy to have two people running around, and they always have somebody to hang out with. Yeah. My mom is a four, and we've got a big family because of that.
00:07:43
Speaker
And then, yeah, it's just, I don't want my kid to be an only child. I feel like that's kind of lonely and not as fun, you know? I don't know. Even though it's been years, I'm still praying to be an only child. I know it's not going to happen, but you know. There are moments like that too. But it's always nice to have
00:08:08
Speaker
someone. Yeah, very
Parenting Values and Emotional Support
00:08:10
Speaker
true. And I always had similar friend groups and we were always doing stuff. That's very true. How would you handle the death, miscarriage, stillbirth, sids, suds, however you say it, sudden infant death, etc. of your child? That one's hard. I know a lot of people who have gone through miscarriage and it's just been like the
00:08:37
Speaker
the biggest, most exciting thing that they've experienced. I think I'd go to God first. And I would surround myself with a really good support group and talk to moms who have experienced those things. And know that I am not the only person who's gone through that. And that other people have come out on the other side of it.
00:09:08
Speaker
I think that's the biggest thing that I would do. Yeah. What traditions do you want to break with your kids? I can't really think of any family traditions I would try to break. I have been very fortunate with my
00:09:26
Speaker
parents and my home life growing up. But I have thought of like societal things or like within the cultural moment. Yeah, I try to steer clear of like I especially I see a lot of it in my students like and the two years that we had have not helped them like differently emotionally at all. So hopefully that will get better as kids get older and they are experiencing humans again. But like,
00:09:56
Speaker
You know, I see so many parents who are parents of like my students, and they manage screen time, whatever they wanted to watch, you know, managing the things that they're bringing in and kind of helping guide them towards better friend groups. Like my parents did that. And it was
00:10:19
Speaker
I might not have been okay with it at the time, but it was, yeah, it made sense for me. It made sense when I got older and you know, like actually being with my kids when I'm with my kids. Oh yeah. There was an article that my mentor teacher had read that he passed along to me because we were chatting about it where it was a statistic and this was like 2018 where parents were more
00:10:51
Speaker
with they were with their kids more like physically than they've ever been but mentally and emotionally they were absent wow it's wild like it was so wild to think about that so stuff like that like being intentional with my kids and making sure that they're
00:11:14
Speaker
good and like productive little human beings. You know, not running a book. They understand how to be in a public place. I had to do that today with some students. We went on a field trip to one of the local movie theaters to go watch some students
00:11:31
Speaker
films they made. Yeah. And during our intermission where they could get snacks, some of the boys were running around in the halls. I'm like, stop, you're in a pool. Yeah. We'll tell you that you're, that that's for us. This isn't a pool. This isn't a park. This isn't your home. Exactly. So stuff like that. What traditions do you want to start? Um,
00:11:59
Speaker
Man, well, I think I'd like to carry over some traditions that my parents had with us. Like my parents, they made it very aware to us that we were loved. So they made sure that they said, I love you to us a lot. They hugged us. They let us know that they were there. And then they showed us that they loved each other.
00:12:27
Speaker
Yeah. They kissed. They were like open about their relationship and the fact that they were together and that they loved each other. And I've had some students talk about that.
00:12:43
Speaker
having good relationships with their parents and don't. And they've overheard me with conversations with my parents because my mom helped in some classes the whole year and had her on speakerphone to come get her in last minute. And we said bye. We said, love you. One of my kids went, wow, imagine not having mommy issues, setting up traditions and like,
00:13:13
Speaker
rhythms where they know that I love them and they know that I'm there for them and that life might be hard and they might not like everything that I do and I might not like everything that they do but I am there for them and I'm there for them and that
Community and Support Networks
00:13:29
Speaker
I love them. There's something that my family has always said and it's I may not always like you but I always love you. I want to carry through the rest of my life.
00:13:41
Speaker
What is one thing you want your child to know you for? I think it's love. I think if there's anything that they want to know me for, it's love. That's just, that's the one word that comes to mind anytime I've thought about that question this week. You know, that I care. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:11
Speaker
What do you want to impart in your kids the most? Um, this one, I had to think a little bit about I, and it's one thing that like, I've been having a hard time with my students. It's, it's the whole idea that you might struggle in life or things might be hard, but you don't stop because of it. Yeah. There's one of the, one of my coworkers, he started telling the kids, um,
00:14:42
Speaker
that gosh he so Fridays we have project time and his project time is rock climbing so they run down to one of the local rock climbing gyms yeah it's like a 10-minute run you know when the kids get kind of tired and they're puffing and they're like man can we stop he's like it's hard but
00:15:08
Speaker
It makes you grow. So that struggle, even though you might not like it at the moment, even though you might want to stop, it grows your capacity for the best things that life is going to throw at you. And I want my kids to know that. What do you have to say to the upcoming mothers?
00:15:31
Speaker
I think it's find a good group of moms that you can be with. Um, if there's anything I've learned from the moms that I know in my friend groups and like around, it's having moms that you can talk to and do life with, um, because some of them have the best advice for you.
00:15:53
Speaker
Yeah. And like, getting to share childcare resources and getting to share like, what are you doing with this two year old? Like, how do I manage them not hitting their baby brother because they got kind of mad and they put that energy elsewhere? What do I do with that? You know, yeah, they give the best advice. Because they do it already. So having some moms that like are
00:16:20
Speaker
kind of in the same journey as you and have kids who are older than yours and who have been through it a little more. Just having a support group to fall back on. I feel like that's the best thing you could do.
Encouragement for Future Mothers
00:16:34
Speaker
And having good like family support group and your blood family. It's the family you've chosen, you know, having good support groups to help you. Cause it takes a village.
00:16:47
Speaker
It's a whole village. It really does. It's a lot to take care of kids, especially when they're little. Yeah. OK. Surprise questions. I forgot to add these in, but they're not hard. All right. So what do you have to say to this generation of women and mothers? Keep going.
00:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it's so we live in such a cultural moment that kind of tells you if it's not for you, it's not for you. Like if you're that's so counterintuitive to like life is something you're not feeling it in this moment doesn't mean that you should stop. Like that struggle refines you. Yeah. Refine your motherhood.
00:17:39
Speaker
even though it sucks sometimes from what I've been told. I don't know yet. I have teenagers that I work with, and they suck sometimes. And I get that struggle. And then last question, what do you have to say to this? Let me start over, because you can't talk. What do you have to say to this generation of men and fathers? Be present.
00:18:09
Speaker
I think that's one thing that like a father figure is so important. Yes. If you don't know how to be a loving, solid father figure in someone's life, like you've got to find that you need to know how to do that. Like God is the one to look to.
00:18:34
Speaker
But having other men who are older than you in that journey, they've done it. Having those men in your life who can help you set up that strong hold and that foundation is so important. It's so important. To menu trust and having their support and their guidance.
Episode Wrap-Up
00:19:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:05
Speaker
Well, pioneers and beautiful people, with that, that is the end of this episode. Thank you, Janice, so much for coming on. It was so much fun. Have a great second time. It's probably going to be a third, but we'll talk about that later. But pioneers, beautiful people, don't be afraid to like, follow, share, go to the website, go to the Patreon, all of the things. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye, pioneers. Bye, beautiful people.
00:19:35
Speaker
so